Hipster Sister

Fluorescent Label

2010-11-22T15:42:00.000-08:00

I wonder which is preferable - to walk around all your life swollen up with your secrets until you burst from the pressure of them, or to have them sucked out of you, every paragraph, every sentence, every word of them, so at the end you're depleted of all that was once as precious to you as hoarded gold, as close to you as your skin - everything that was of the deepest importance to you, everything that made you cringe and wish to conceal, everything that belonged to you alone - and must spend the rest of your days like an empty sack flapping in the wind, an empty sack branded with a bright fluorescent label so that everyone will know what sort of secrets used to be inside you?

What have we done...

2010-11-10T15:16:00.000-08:00

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgement, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

...eyes with wonder

2010-10-28T19:13:00.000-07:00

Stuff your eyes with wonder.
Live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds.
See the world.
It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.

Tiny Like A Lion

2010-10-12T16:44:00.000-07:00

a storm. a tiny girl.
a tiny piece of sea-glass caught in her heart.
eyes opening and limbs unfolding, akin to newborn deer.
lungs dancing like ghost swans; warm breath melting iced veins.
now everything was beautiful, less distant.
dreams resumed once sleep returned, like the songbirds in spring.
unrelenting, this feeling grows, and it is stronger than a lion.

Gypsy Viola

2010-10-10T10:45:00.000-07:00

Gypsy Viola

by: Tom Yak - Electric Tattoo

Say hello to Viola. The newest permanent member of my tattoo family. She's fresh and new and bears lots of meaning. In fact, every detail actually represents something/someone in my family. Bet you didn't see that one coming ...

I figured I'd set in stone the meaning behind this tattoo, each and every detail, so the ones I love that were incorporated in this tattoo can read for themselves what they mean to me.

The gypsy itself was originally a painting done by my good friend Matt Cinnirella, an extremely talented artist that I can not thank enough for taking the time to put every single detail I requested into this. Cinni Bunz, you rule. I chose the name Viola for this little lady, because it was my grandmother's name. She was an amazing woman, had more energy than I did until her passing at 86 years old about a year ago, and said the most ridiculous, funniest things. She loved her beer and scotch and sodas and could make some mean potato pancakes and stuffed cabbage. She was also the luckiest woman I knew (she was the one you went to the casino with, and asked which lottery number to play, literally). It's quite fitting that gypsy tattoos bring good fortune, as that's what my grams was filled with.

The skin tone represents my background - half Portuguese, part Irish, part Polish. My dad, where my Portuguese descent comes from, is super dark skinned, and my mother is much lighter.

Her dark, wavy hair belongs to my sister Nicole, who has beautiful long, dark, wavy hair. She's an amazing sister and has had a huge impact on my life. I admire her beauty and how it's so natural and effortless.

The pearls are a representation of my sister Stacey. She's much more clean cut and proper than I. She also has had a huge impact on my life. I adore my sisters. We're all so different and I think we're the perfect fit as sisters.

The peacock feather is for me - I love love love feathers. I think they're beautiful and delicate and represent so many different things to me. Peacock feathers represent nobility and beauty. Having the feather placed on top of her head shows that she is proud of who she is, what she's made of, and where she comes from. The big, red rose is also a representation of beauty ... and I really love anything with floral in it. :)

Love this new addition!

Special thanks to Matt Cinnirella for his time and talent.

And much love to my family, who will always have a little piece of them on me. <3

Photo Diary

2010-09-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

Things that inspire me.
Things that represent me.
Things that make up my human being.

The Hipster Sister on the Interweb!

2010-09-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

It has been quite some time since I posted a rather "personal" blog.

It's interesting to read my blog, cover to cover - from day one to my last post. I see change, inspiration, growth, maturity...

Amazing. Considering that my life has been documented, without meaning to actually document it. I started this blog purely for others' pleasure. In fact, I had written my first blog post, tweeted about it, and had my followers asking for more. Because I love them dearly, I obliged. I just wish I had the time to make The Hipster Sister a bit more fluent and consistent. Unfortunately, twenty four hours is too little for me to accomplish what I would like to in a calendar day. But while we're on that topic ...

I am currently working on a few "projects" for The Hipster Sister. I had received MANY requests to spread the name through other outlets. (apparently a barely consistent blog is just not enough). So, I'm working on exactly that. I barely have the time to keep up with it (which is why my blog has been so scarce of posts lately), but ... I'm making it work, to make you all happy! You know who you are ... you're the ones wearing that cheesy smile, glued to your mac books...

In the meantime, I've grown up, settled down, play mommy on the weekends and been doing everything but making time for me. Do I love it? Yes. Am I still having fun? YES! I've been going to amazing shows, meeting amazing people, going to amazing places ... I'm living my dream life, so to speak. And things are only seemingly getting better. Here's to good people, good times, and a good, good life.

So kidz, stay tuned for more announcements on where to find The Hipster Sister. I promise to keep you posted on where to find me, all over the interweb.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter! @hipsterrr

Love You, Monsterz,
Ali

Current Listen: Get You Off - 80kidz

Makes Me Happy

2010-09-16T20:32:00.000-07:00

I want to spend a day doing the absolute most miniscule things that make me happy.

Like spending all day scouring through thrift store after thrift store, and at the end of the day, have change from my twenty dollar bill that I used to do so.

Like sipping tea from a mug outside on a blanket in the sun with my favorite person, talking for hours about where flowers get their colors from, and the different shapes of the moon.

Like eating falafel at my favorite place, and listening to my favorite album the whole way home.

Like walking down the street and seeing basket upon basket of fresh cut flowers, stopping to look at them, smell them, and then steal one to wear in my hair.

Like riding the subway and smiling at every single person that makes eye contact.

Like walking through art galleries, being completely inspired.

Like laying by a lake or in a big field, taking in the beauty of what's around you, and realizing how small you really are at that exact moment.

Like making my favorite person smile or laugh ... or both.

Like reading a quote, or a poem, or a book that hits you the same way an epiphany does.

Like having a long, in depth, meaningful conversation, and looking into the other person's eyes to try and feel what they're feeling.

Like having an impromptu picnic.

Like eating tacos, burritos, and guacamole for lunch and dinner, in the same day.

Like taking a nap in the middle of the day and picking up right where you left off.

Like playing your favorite song over and over again, because there's nobody around to tell you to turn it off.

Like creating something that's beautiful in your eyes, and having others see beauty in it too.

Like devouring the feeling of being in love.

Like taking the time to stop, just for a moment, and realize that you're alive and happy, and living, in the way that pleases you most.

... Just so I don't take the small things and the little cracked smiles for granted.

Destroy What You Know And Read These Words

2010-09-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

Some of us lead the life of a lifeless ordinary. Some of us poke our head above the surface, think differently, have different thought processes and therefore lead completely different lives than the rest. Some just settle for what comes along. Dig. Dream. Imagine.

Read these words and decide ... is the life you lead who you are?

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and topes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from it's presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!" It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

The Strange Thing Was ...

2010-08-23T16:09:00.000-07:00

The strange thing was ... she thought about this all the time. That no matter where she went, it would change her life forever. By choosing one place above all the others, she would be choosing against fifty or sixty possible lives who's details she could never know, and how was she supposed to decide which unseen life she wanted to live?

My Favorite Words

2010-08-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

My Favorite Words:

promenade
   lovely
   wonderful
   eloquence
   plethora
   rutabaga
   chartreuse
   debauchery
   ambiance
   silly
   dew
   willow
   imagine
   create
   wilted
   poodle
   essential
   depth
   serene
   scramble
   original
   moss
   moleskin
   vermouth
   soundtrack
   intimacy
   spectacle

Head For Your Big Prize: FREEDOM

2010-08-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

Somebody once told me once before you can never go back home again once you leave. Say anything just to tear me away from the truth of who I am and what I believe. So I thanked him for his two cents with a shake and some sympathy, and I packed up my blue jeans and I headed for the big prize ... of my freedom.

Just wrapped up my vacation. I went to Gathering of the Vibes with my sister, bro in law & this rad dude Stever the Beaver. We raged out, danced more than we stood still, saw some legendary artists, and dressed up as mystical animals/lawn decoractions; i.e. gnomes & unicorns. The best part was, was that the first day we were there, we worked a seventeen hour shift, from 8am until 1am. We were able to meet each and every person rolling into vibes, before they even set up their tents. You meet some incredible characters in a place like this. And by characters, I MEAN characters. I had the time of my life. In fact, these five days changed my life.

Being in a vicinity that held 25,000 people, you're basically in a small town of people. Each person there has the mindset and notion to never judge a person. Period. If you can, imagine what kind of environment that creates. There was absolutely no tension, no hate, no second looks because of what you were wearing, no whispers, nothing you see in the outside world. Total peace and unity. I found myself, by day two, wishing this place existed in real life, three hundred sixty five days a year.

I came home clear headed, unable to even have a thought of judging another person, and thriving off of total peace. Sounds crazy. But the mindset I had here was like nothing I've ever experienced. For the first time, I had nothing, nothing on my mind to worry about, care about, remember. I was there. I existed. And that's all I needed.

So think the next time you're about to judge someone. Be who YOU want to be, not who your friends are being. And if you hear a comment, so what. That just came from someone who's too insecure to be what they really are. It's them who's wasting their being, not you.

Head for your big prize ... FREEDOM.

Inside My Head

2010-07-09T13:59:00.000-07:00

You may think I'm small, but I have a universe inside my head.

My Life [According To Phoenix]

2010-06-21T21:38:00.000-07:00

Completely and utterly avoiding sleep at all costs (why, I don't know, I have to be up in four hours...), I was digging through some old stuff and found this silly little thing that I did way back when. I thought it would be fun to bring it back and pick a new band. (Fun Fact: My previous pick was Pete Yorn.) Here's how it goes ...

Using only names from one artist, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think.

My Life [According To Phoenix]

Are you a male of female?
Girlfriend

How do you feel?
If I Ever Feel better

Describe where you currently live.
Rally

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Lisztomania

What's your favorite form of transportation?
1901

Your best friend is...?
Too Young

The weather is like...?
On Fire

If your life was a t.v. show, what would it be called?
Consolation Prizes

Favorite time of day?
Funky Squaredance

Your fear?
Definitive Breaks

What's the best advice you can give?
Too Young

Thought for the day?
One Time Too Many

Clever Lever

2010-06-21T19:22:00.000-07:00

All people know the same truths.

Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Be.

2010-06-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

Just be as you are.

.L I V E.

2010-06-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature, is that all of us tend to put off living.

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.

Wild Little Things

2010-06-14T18:01:00.000-07:00

I just really love wild, baby animals ...

<3 wild babies.

Going Deep.

2010-06-13T19:29:00.000-07:00

Leave your mark wherever you go.

Never in my life have I ever been grounded.

I've been arrested (more than once), had my parents discover drugs in my bedroom, been found passed out cold in my own bathroom from drinking (underage), and have stayed out to God forsaken hours partying in my teens. And not once in my life, have I ever been grounded, scolded, or gotten in any more trouble other than a, "Ali, stop it."

I could have sworn that it was because I was the unplanned third child that had caused them to give up and let me live my own life. I found out December 25th, 2008, that I was an "unexpected pleasure", to put it nicely, and realized, at that very moment, that that was the reason that I was the way that I was. Wild, free, and living the life that we all wanted to live, but had parents and/or authorities in the way. It was at the ripe age of twenty five when I realized how good I had it.

While kids who had done what I had done up until now would probably have been sent away to either a psychiatrist, therapist, or juvie, I had been left alone. Left to figure it out on my own, the "hard knock" way. I lived my life finding out what right and wrong was on my own terms. Having two older sisters/being the baby, you would have thought that I would have learned what I can and can't do, what I can get away with, what I should avoid doing at all costs, and if I chose to do it, how to pull it off seamlessly. Instead, I pushed the envelope. Apparently, at every chance I got. I can honestly say that when I look back on my past twenty five years, I can not understand why I ever spent even one waking moment complaining about anything. I've been living the life I've made for myself, having the time of my life. Is that not ultimately the "American Dream"?

I'm pretty sure I'm the reason why my parents stopped having babies after I was born. I was a handful, to say the least, always keeping them on their toes. And still, at twenty five, I like to think I'm keeping them young. You'd think I'd have grown up by now, trying to start a legit family, like my other two sisters did. But I'm having way too much fun. Instead, I'm coming home with new tattoos every few weeks. I've even convinced my dad, and even referred him to one of my own artists, to get a huge piece done. Don't get me wrong, the last two years of my life have changed me more than anything in the world. I found faith, which changed my life, enabled me to see things, go to countries I never dreamed I would ever in my life see, experience the most intense situations and meet people that were ultimately life changing in countless ways. This past year alone, I've slowly broken out of my shell and become who I was always supposed to be. I do not, in any way, regret not doing this sooner. I fully believe that I'm in the perfect place at the perfect time. And that says a lot, considering where my peers are right now. My life is amazing. And I wouldn't trade it for any given lottery jackpot. We all travel at different speeds.

Because I understand what I've gotten myself into/away with in the past few years, I like to think that I have the raddest parents around. I'm sure I could have been put in line a little harder, but I'm sure I would have ended up no differently. I truly do respect them for letting me be who I am, at my own pace. They let me do what I wanted, suffer the repercussions, ride out the good and the bad, and let me figure it all out on my own. Am I a different breed from the rest of the Pinho's? Sure. Am I proud of who I am? Of course. And really, in the end, that's all that matters. If my own family can let me figure out who I am and what I'm made of and still look at me and love me the same way they did the day I was brought into this world, then I'm happy as long as they're happy.

We all live a different life. We all see things differently. We're all taught to follow a different path by different leaders. It's finding your way through it all, and what you find along the way, that's important. It's how you turn out in the end that matters most, not how people view you, or opinions, or what you "should have" been. Pride yourself on who you are today, right now, at this very moment. Because, like it or not, this is who you are. I've said it once, and I'll say it again and again ...

To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing it's best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you're ever going to fight.
Never stop fighting.

Wish On Everything

2010-06-13T00:23:00.000-07:00

Wish on everything.
Pink cars are good, especially old ones.
And stars of course, first stars and shooting stars.
Planes will do if they are the first light in the sky and look like stars.
Wish in tunnels, holding your breath and lifting your feet off the ground.
Birthday candles.
Baby teeth.

A Few Of [my] Life's Natural Highs

2010-06-02T18:41:00.000-07:00

A Few Of [my] Life's Natural Highs:

* The first cup of coffee of the day.

* Hearing your favorite song in the strangest of places.

* The exact moment an inside joke is created.

* Eating a chilly bowl of seasonal fruit on a hot day.

* Slurpees, preferably cherry and coke mixed in the same cup, gross color and all.

* Fresh guacamole made by a real life mexican.

* Spending the day with your best friend, followed by staying up all night talking.

* Laughing so hard your stomach hurts.

* Getting "laugh attacks".

* The affection an animal gives you.

* Finding a quote that fits you perfect, at that very moment.

* Smiling at/getting a smile from a random stranger.

* Raw talent.

* Art - Making it/looking at it/seeing it in the strangest places/talking about it/relating to it.

* Finding something from nature in the shape of a heart.

* When food is made into funny faces.

* Finding a treasure at a flea market/antique shop/thrift shop.

* Conquering an inner battle.

* Finishing a DIY project.

* Creating ... anything.

Who Are You?

2010-06-01T16:46:00.000-07:00

I realize that it has been slightly short of forever since I've posted anything ... at all. So, I will update you in picture form. Because I'm sure a string of pictures can say a whole lot more than I can type...

My favorites, all in one room. In element mode.

I got another tattoo. Yes, another. (#six) While I hate explaining it to people (mainly because they don't get it without this story that I'm about to tell you), I really do love it and everything it stands for. It reads, 'wild & free' in a kind of sloppy script font. These two little words have so much meaning. It's from my favorite quote, "All good things are wild & free.", from Where The Wild Things Are. I saw the movie when it came out and was more captivated by it than any of the eight year olds in the theatre who probably should have be enjoying it just as much, if not more, than I was. If humanly possible, I think I blinked a total of three times during the entire movie. The plot of Wild Things put a LOT of things into perspective for me. I found it amazing how a kid movie can make an adult hit reality. Really. I realized that in order to be free, to be real, you have to just let go and do what you feel is right. My whole life, I've always felt like I had to add up to something other than what I was adding up to, in the direction I was going. And having two older sisters who were constantly excelling at everything pertaining to brains and success, that's a lot of catching up on my part. I've always been my own unique version of my family name. By now, I'm sure I stand out in a crowd of Pinho's. While I realize that I have a different make up than the rest of my family, I realize that it's only adding more character to the crazy Pinho rep we have as a family. I know that I'm different - My love for tattoos, art, being creative and very free spirited, not thinking things out and acting on impulse, and being the "wild" one, hearing the quote, "All good things are wild & free.", I never forgot it ever since. Slowly breaking out of my own shell, very slowly, and realizing that I am who I am, no matter who thinks it's wrong or who thinks it's right, was a huge, huge milestone for me.

Being yourself and standing by it is one of the hardest things you can do in the world we live in today. I can't imagine living my life without doing what I'm passionate about, every single day. I can't imagine not going to bed at night and thinking to myself, that was one of the best days I've ever had, every single night. I can't imagine not waking up, and being excited to see what's going to happen today.

Whoever you are, be it, and you'll notice an instant change - a new person that's happy, passionate, and excited about life.

When I think about who and what I am, I know in my heart that I will always be wild & free.

During my time away, I have been ...

Clearly, having way too much fun...

Falling in love with hipster pups just as much as I do the real thing...

Finding humor in the things that are meant to be taken seriously...

Obsessing over my Obsession #1

... and Obsession #2

Finished a lovely book...

Followed important rules...

Most importantly, I have left my mark, wherever I've been.

Current Song: And The Hazy Sea - Cymbals Eat Guitars

Today I feel GOLD. Just plain old bronzing, shining gold.

An Eternity Better Than This World

2010-05-25T17:39:00.000-07:00

Banksy Balloon Girl

Today I was reminded how short life really is. Some people are born, and aren't even given the chance of one day...

Whatever you're going through, realize that somewhere, some place, someone is going through something much more terrible than you are. Life is too short to spend wasted on silly little things. Everything matters. And no matter what happens, everything is happening for a reason, as impossible as it may seem.

Live your life, because some people don't even get to live theirs. Life is too precious to ever be wasted.

RIP little baby. Your eternity will be spent in a place much better than this world.

Maybe

2010-05-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than the

stories and people we're quoting.

One Wild & Precious Life

2010-05-16T19:19:00.000-07:00

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean -

the one who had flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down -

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know exactly how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down on the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life.

- Mary Oliver

The Original

2010-05-16T00:19:00.000-07:00

To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing it's best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight.

Never stop fighting.

Kick Start Kid

2010-05-11T19:01:00.000-07:00

I imagined what life would be like if I had conformed ... Suddenly I had felt an overwhelming sense of uncertainty and detachment from myself.

It was then that I had realized how alive I was.

It was then that I had realized that I am who I am.

I am. I am. I am.

- Thoughts, inspired by Sylvia Plath.

Today Is All You Have

2010-05-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

Street Art by Banksy

Today is all you have.

It's taken me a few days to write this all down, mainly for the fact that it's kind of a lot to swallow. The moment after I got news of what happened, my mood had slumped, I got into my car, and I went for a ride. The friday night hat turned slightly depressing, yet taught me a shocking, unpredicted lesson I would have never learned otherwise.

I came home from work Friday afternoon, utterly exhausted, as I haven't been sleeping for weeks. (My average nights sleep was one to three hours, and on a good night, four hours. My body and mind were a wreck, and I felt it. I just chose to ignore it. As per usual.) I fell asleep mid sentence while talking to one of my friends on my laptop. The day before, I fell asleep, mid sentence, in a room full of executives at work. I woke up as my mother was walking in the door. Dying of thirst, I made my way down the stairs as she was walking towards the steps. My mother is not the emotional type. In fact, she can brush off any given situation. A tragic occurrence is taken at the same speed as driving past possum roadkill on I-195. She looked up at me walking down the stairs. I saw the look her face and was instantly, without even thinking, taken back and worried, never a feeling I got around my mother.

"You'll never guess what happened." If I spoke out loud of the things that rushed through my brain, I would sound like a lunatic, but with valid reason. "My friend Theresa, I was sitting with her yesterday at the restaurant, she was totally fine...", my mother had a way of trailing off with her sentences. She can speak one full sentence, but you'll get three different stories from it, all in one shot, something I learned to master understanding since childhood.

"...she was found stabbed to death in her bed this morning. Her ten year old daughter found her. Nobody knows who did it or why, they think it was her son who's a junior in high school. But she's dead. I was just sitting with her yesterday."

I usually laugh to myself when I consciously listen to my mother speak. It's like a game, you kind of have to keep up with what she's saying. But for the first time, she was worried, scared, confused and filled with emotion. This was something I wasn't used to. This was the first time I hadn't inwardly laughed at our conversation.

I asked a few questions, and then suddenly got the urge to be alone. I grabbed my car keys and did so. Never in my life have I turned off my music while I was driving, and I hadn't even realized that I had, until I found myself two towns over, not even knowing what my destination was, driving in complete silence. I could have sworn I had a destination.

A rush of thoughts entered my mind, as if I were an award winning poet with all the most novel things to say, just not out loud, or on paper. I realized suddenly that today is all I had. I may be perfectly healthy today, enjoying my life and everything in it, looking forward to what was to happen tomorrow night, but I might never make it there. I realized that it doesn't really matter your situation. God has a plan for you and that's that. Fight it all you want, but a bigger, better being is out there, with your life in a book of people maps, and you can't do a thing about it. Your life is mapped out. You're just along for the ride. I just so happen to make lots of fun pit stops along the way of my mapped out life.

As scary as it is to think that tomorrow morning, you can wake up and be nonexistent, it's a little bit motivating. I think the greatest thing you can do in life, is to live it. If I go one single day without doing something I love, something that makes me who I am, I fall into a slump. Instantly. Whether it's paint a single painting, or a dozen, reflect on what color I feel like for the day, write in my creative journal, think up a new idea, spend time with the people that inspire me most, read my favorite book of the moment, find my new favorite Salvation Army find for $2. I've learned to live simply, and coming from a town where BMW's, Louis Vuitton's, $300 jeans and frequent visits to the Chanel boutique on the weekends with your besties was the norm, I've surely been humbled. It's pretty amazing to look at what mattered most then, as opposed to what matters most now. They say who you are at twenty five is who you are, solid. I hope I'm this way for forever. Because I've never, ever been happier, more content, than I am right now.

Remember the moments where you think to yourself, "This is what it is to be happy". Humble yourself and realize the things that matter in your life, even if it takes a little reevaluation, because in the state our world is in, we all need it. Find a little piece of happiness in something other than something you can purchase at a store, like a little time spent with the person that means the most to you. There's so much to life, if we just stop following everyone else's tail. You're the only person that's ever going to walk this earth. There will never be another Ali Pinho, so I want to make a name that stands for what it is. You will never be repeated. You can never be remade, no matter how advanced science gets. Do what makes you who you are. Be who you are, today. Because you will never get today back, and tomorrow is never guaranteed. And I think from Theresa's story, we should all take that into account and realize how important it is to live. Every. Single. Day.

Just live. Because today is all you have.

Writable Life

2010-05-06T17:40:00.000-07:00

Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise.

The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.

Slick And Pretty Things

2010-05-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

I hate slick and pretty things.
I prefer mistakes and accidents. Which is why I like things like cuts and bruises - they're like little flowers. I've always said that if you have a name for something, like "cut" or "bruise", people will automatically be disturbed by it. But when you see the same thing in nature, and you don't know what it is, it can be very beautiful.

Happy Imperfections

2010-05-02T19:43:00.000-07:00

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Inside Out

2010-05-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

Be who you are, from the inside out.

Show the world

what

you're

made of ...

Cloud Hopping ...

2010-05-01T03:44:00.000-07:00

Went from grey cloud, skipped cloud nine, and went straight to cloud nine billion.

Funny how things work.

Believe Everything

2010-05-01T02:15:00.000-07:00

"What should I believe?" thought Shadow, and the voice came back to him from somewhere deep beneath the world, in a bass rumble: Believe everything.

"The ones that bring negativity into any given situation, only have so much negativity built up on themselves, and can only knock themselves down so many times, that they can no longer take it out on themselves, giving themselves the illusion that they are building their own self up. But still, at the end of it all, they are the ones who fall. Not you." True that.

How I Saw The World ...

2010-04-28T14:57:00.000-07:00

Our lives are part of a unique adventure ... Nevertheless, most of us think the world is "normal" and are constantly hunting for something abnormal - like angels or martians. But that is just because we don't realize the world is a mystery. As for myself, I felt completely different. I saw the world as an amazing dream. I was hunting for some kind of explanation of how everything fit together.

Dreams > Facts

2010-04-27T17:18:00.000-07:00

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.

Rabbit Hearted Girl

2010-04-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story.
From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrated and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting at the trunk of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, and I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.
- The Bell Jar

With all that I was consumed with this past week, I realized that it completely slipped my mind that I had not posted a picture of my much anticipated tattoo, which I finally sat down to get last Sunday. Four months of impatience, two hours of constant pain, and the most amazing tattoo artist to ever hold a gun to her delicate little fingers, resulted in the most beautiful piece of art, forever on my body for display. I love art. Art has consumed and become my life. Art is my motivation, my inspiration, my reason for being, and what I have become. I am fortunate enough to be able to see art through a completely different set of eyes than the one that are on my face. Not many can appreciate art, especially the abstract kind. It takes a seriously open mind and a beautiful soul to be able to look at a piece of art, and be able to fall in love with something as simple as brush strokes. I was lucky enough to have Amanda Wachob, an incredibly talented young lady with an incredible eye, impeccable skill, and an incredible artist, create this tattoo from me. This is her original art work, in the abstract style of painting that I, myself do and adore. I could not be happier with the eight pieces she painted for me to choose from, and with the ultimate piece that I have chosen to be on my body forever. This. Is. Art. I'm in love with every last stroke of this piece.

Today I feel Ibis, an apricot sort of color that always automatically reminds me of a stork - those mile long legs and matching beak that seem almost silly, but serve incredible functions. I've been running off two hours of sleep today, and feel surprisingly silly and upbeat. Lately I've been delivering advice to friends and been the bearer of news, good and bad. Ironically, like the stork is a delivery man himself. In fact, I see no irony here.

Current Listen: Rabbit Heart - Florence and the Machine (Lungs Mix)

Real.

2010-04-22T18:32:00.000-07:00

"What is real?" asked the Rabbit one day ...
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.
"When you are Real, you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. Thats why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair have been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Little did we know, we first learned about love and individuality at the ripe age of seven. If it was easy enough then, what makes it so hard now?

I Am The Sour And I Am The Sweet

2010-04-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

I am the longing.
I am the unscratched surface of any potential.
I am the first step waiting to be taken.
I am the smirk that won't wipe off my face,
I am the unquenched thirst.
I am the desire.
I am the patience that is wearing thin.
I am the end of the rope.
I am the love unspoken for.
I am the dear, but I am the courage.
I am the uncharted waters.
I am the waiting, the waiting, the waiting.
I am the glass half full.
I am the unspoken understanding.
I am the butterfly effect.
I am the arms raised in victory.
I am the hands holding my head in defeat.
I am the moment of clarity.
I am the double take.
I am the words I scribble.
I am the lips unkissed, my hands not held.
I am the lyrics.
I am the melody.
I am the honesty, I am the loyalty.
I am the wonder, the beautiful wonder.
I am the late night talk.
I am the sour and I am the sweet.
I am the most romantic thing I've yet to do.
I am the thoughts uncontrollable.
I am the raised eyebrow.
I am the teardrop tracing the contour of my face.
I am the laughter, the uncensored laughter.
I am the mistakes I've made, I am the lessons I've learned.
I am the success.
I am the ambition.
I am the trembling anticipation.
I am the love I take.
I am the compassion.
I am the focus I always lose.
I am the memories.
I am the stolen breath and skipped heartbeat.
I am the calm.
I am the smile.
I am the freedom.
I am the faith.
I can the logical next step.
I am the places I've seen.
I am the first kiss.
I am the first fight.
I am the shared dreams.
I am the beating of my heart.
I am the comfortable silence
I am the wink.
I am the thought in the back of my mind.
I am the first star I wish on.
I am the relief, the sweet relief.
I am the shadows across my face.
I am the peace.
I am the happiness I am surrounded by.
I am the woman I'm becoming.
I am the little girl I used to be,
I am the whole, but I am the pieces....
... I am the pieces.

We Are A Different Breed

2010-04-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

Just a typical friday night with my babes/bros...

We are a different breed of kids.

We have dance parties until 6am, thanks to Joose.
We get our hair cut by our friends, who are also dj's.
We are friends with bands on the radio, and while you think that's "so cool", they're just another friend to us.
We wear a leather jacket with every outfit. Even in the summer.
We put our tattoos in the strangest places.
We don't use "red cups", at parties, we carry around the entire wine bottle.
PBR is better than Yuengling in our book.
Dive bars are a fancy night out.
Our bikes are preferred over our cars, if we even own a car.
We can direct you to the best dive bar/brewery in Brooklyn.
We sleep wherever we end up that night, even on Tuesdays.
Our bros breed their own mustaches.
We don't care what you think about our 1950's inspired outfits, or that someone wore it numerous times, seventy years ago. After all, that shirt only cost us two dollars.
We don't hang out on land, we hang out on rooftops in brooklyn.
We can tell you how to get to any given destination via subway, and some of us don't even live in the city.
Us babes prefer dresses over pants, and our bros borrow the pants from us girls that we don't wear.
We'd rather be aristis/make music than have full time jobs.
We are eclectic enough/have enough creative energy to blow out solar energy if you put us all in one room.

We are alts. And we are proud.

The Notions of Backwards Motions

2010-04-13T15:37:00.000-07:00

Vampire, red velvet, bone white, black cat, sequins, parties, gold, hot pink high heels, bubble gum, dance parties, vinyl records, Jim Morrison, Morrisey, California, long hair, bare feet, flowers, laying in a field, hot sunny days, lazy sundays, cereal, peanut butter & jelly, romance, red lipstick, grunge, coco sumner, ripped shorts, tattoos, permanence.

Sometimes, when my mind has been a mess all day/I'm really stressed out/I feel like a really dark color, I like to sit down and write down the first word that comes to mind. Then I write out every single word that immediately pops into my head, even if it doesn't make sense. I like to see where my mind is at that exact moment. It's freeing and puts me back in my original place - exactly who and where I am supposed to be.

Today was a super hectic day. SUPER hectic. I can't remember the last time I let myself get that stressed out over work. There's usually 4 of us on our visual team. Now there's only two. There's too much to do and not enough time to do them. And with two big visits from the district/head of all of Macy's visual merchandising coming, we're a little stressed & stretched.

Today I feel Haematic, a blood color, really dark, not much light able to come in and kind of cloudy, kind of how I felt on this hectic, hectic day. Hopefully a little bit of painting will release all of this cramped up downward energy I have built up. Something tells me this is going to stick around all week.

I have a temp assistant at work. He asked me how to spell something the other day, and I speedily blurted out the correct letters, like I always do as habit when someone asks me how you spell something. He looked at me, half rolling his eyes, half, "what the hell did you just say?". I laughed. "Sorry. I'm a really good speller. Gimme another one!!!" I'm proud to say that I never, ever have to use spell check when writing. And I take pride in that! Today he came in with a list of really hard words for me to spell. One by one, he rattled off words that he didn't even know the meanings of, and his jaw dropped lower & lower with every next word. I got all eleven right, except for one, saxophonist. I guessed just about every vowel except the "o". How majorly disappointing. I can spell hedonistic, but I can't spell saxophonist. This was the start to my terrible day.

Now, I'm home, and back in my element. Time to break out my paints and fade into my little world. I think it's time to switch up and buy some new paint colors, for days like these.

Current Listen: The Notion of Backward Motion - Robot Science

It Takes Twenty Five Years To "Get There"

2010-04-11T02:10:00.000-07:00

This picture is the interpretation

of my life right now.

Where do I find a man that can pluck some flowers from a strangers garden, and then surprise me with them when we're having a bike ride together on an afternoon full of sunshine?

I think it's safe to say that old fashioned romance is as dead as the existence of chivalry in the twenty first century man is. (That's only partially true. I actually met someone who opens doors - including the car door. Something I was convinced was as dead and gone as Britany Spears' singing career.)

I'm realizing more and more how simple I am. How easy I am to please. How little it takes for me to be genuinely happy. Material things don't do it for me anymore. It's thoughts that count. Instead of dropping almost $300 on a dress I loved, I decided to remake one that I currently had. (Which doesn't really count, because remaking clothing is one of my favorite past times EVER.) Such simple things make me happy. I love the way things are progressing. I've morphed into this simple, always positive, kind of girl. It might have taken me twenty five and a half years to get here, but I now know that this is who I really am. And I have never, ever, in my life, been happier.

On a separate note; my projects are going well and are definitely keeping me more than busy. My art is floating around the world (literally), the NY art project has turned into a collab with a literary project; collaborating with some awesome independent writers to publish pieces. (We like to refer to is as the Lit-Zine") (If you're a writer, contact me!) Music On The Incline is doing INCREDIBLE! We have two artist interviews coming soon ... one being with my most recent favorite musician discovery, Darwin Deez. One of the funniest/most original guys I've met in a long time. I'm piecing the interviews together now and will alert you when they're ready to read!

I promise to keep you posted more often. I've literally had zero free time (I've dedicated myself to too many side projects!). Hope you are all extra busy being fantastic and enjoying every single day!!!

Todays Top Five: Pastel colored tiger print mini dress, Turning complete strangers into awesome new friends, dusty purple polish, Vibrant emerald blue flats named Elvis, and Jam Jar

Current Listen: Take It Off - Ke$ha. (Yes .... I did just refer you that song.)

Paper Bullets [ART] -New Additions-

2010-04-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

We Can Speak Louder Than Bombs

"The Dana"

Quill Spill

Burn Me Like The Sun

To those who give up on love, I say trust life a little bit.

2010-03-30T20:31:00.000-07:00

I might be single because ...

- I don't like the typical "first date"; fancy dinner and movie deal. I only like eating at holes in the walls and I have never sat still through an entire movie.

- I'd much rather go to a rooftop indie movie viewing in Brooklyn, then take a walk through McCarren Park.

- I'm not impressed with cars, at all, not even really nice ones.

- I'd much rather you ride a bike, and have you ask me to go on a bike ride with you instead of laying around, watching tv all night.

- Don't show up to my house with a dozen roses.

- Because I'd much rather be handed a little bunch of flowers that you picked & stole from a strangers garden on your way over to my house.

- $200 jeans and fancy button down dress shirts are not my gig.

- I'd be much more impressed if you wore an outfit that you put together yourself that cost you a total or $15, head to toe, thanks to some serious steals at the Salvation Army.

- You don't have to spend $100 on a nice dinner to prove to me that you like me.

- Pack a vegan picnic basket, complete with my favorite wine, and tell me to meet you at the park under a big tree. That's so much more romantic. I dislike waiter service when I'm with a handsome man, anyways.

- Planning a big "impressive" night out in AC is only going to make me miserable.

- Instead, take me to an art gallery I've never been before. Let's nerd out.

- Make me cupcakes instead of making me dinner...and we'll eat them for dinner.

- Let's bring a blanket to a big open field, lay on it, and talk for hours, instead of catching up on sleep.

- Draw me pictures when you're bored and give them to me later on when we hang out and ask you how your day was and you say, "oh, it was boring. this was all I really did." Watch me melt.

I'm insanely easy to please, I just think some people get the wrong impression.

Current listen: Radar Detector - Darwin Deez

Keep Calm and Carry On

2010-03-24T17:23:00.000-07:00

Photo by: Nick Serechia

My life has been excruciatingly hectic. I'd be lying if I said I hated it. I love what's been on my plate. The more it piles on, the more I feel like I'm getting to exactly where I should be, doing what I was meant to do. I have my art, my music site, Music On The Incline (which, by the way, I got our very FIRST artist interview!), my New York Art project, things are going amazing at work - I'm finally getting major recognition by my District Visual Manager, AND a project I did for Marc Ecko Cut & Sew made sales fly astronomically though the roof for my store, impressing lots of people who actually matter. Things are just going really well overall. My little dreams that I have set up as stepping stones to my big dreams are all happening. The only last thing I can ask for, is that I could actually get more than 4 hours of sleep a night. I've been so .. incredibly .. exhausted.

It's amazing to see how you evolve. I had these big crazy dreams years ago. Some of them are coming true, some of them were just phases. But right where I am, right now, has never felt so right. I've never felt more like the Ali Pinho that I am, and that I was meant to be ... well, ever.

Aside from the positive light of things, there unfortunately has been a bit of negativity flying around me. None of which has to do directly with me, thank God. But regardless, it's there, and negative energy is something that is never welcome in my range. I can not get into the details, but let's just say that I have a jaw of steel for being this brave to keep my mouth shut about these things that are going on. There's someone who comes to me to vent about their unfortunate lifestyle, and I can't say one word, or I literally risked being potentially hurt or even killed. I think of it as a test of character and faith. Maybe I'm put in this situation because I'm meant to be a mentor and an example to this person. I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything that's been thrown at me the past two weeks. Keep calm and carry on. For now, that's the only advice I can follow.

Be sure to check out my music blog, Music On The Incline, and look out for our very first artist interview with a very talented artist! I'm so honored and excited to have this project getting such amazing feedback! I'll also keep you posted on the NY Art project that I'm working on!

Current Listen: Liars - Houseclouds

Paper Bullets [ART] -New Additions-

2010-03-23T18:13:00.000-07:00

The Concentration Complex

Jelly Legs

Modern Garden

I'll race you.

I Blame Coco

2010-03-13T09:06:00.000-08:00

Coco Sumner

I was never one of those girls who lusted my 13 year old heart out over JTT, or ripped out every single existing picture of anything remotely relating to the Backstreet Boys, and plastered it to my bedroom walls. [Some of my friends had really creepy bedrooms. The fact that the Backstreet Boys and Nsync even existed was disheartening to the music scene enough. It just made me straight up uncomfortable seeing multiples of them. In one room. All staring at me ... or posing in some ridiculous 90's get up/bad dance move.]

When my older sister first got her license, I'm pretty sure one of the first things she did was go to Home Depot to buy a lock for her bedroom door. She'd come home to me sitting indian-style on her bedroom floor, with either the Barenaked Ladies, Dave Matthews Band, or Smashing Pumpkins blasting from her stereo, as I had the booklet from the cd case up to my face, trying to sing along. Needless to say, I've been thrown out of her room one too many times.

I thought that she listened to the coolest music. My sister had as good taste in music as David Bowie was cool, was as musically inclined as Jim Morrison was musically well rounded, and in my eyes, as cool as Johnny Cash was ... well ... almost.

I credit my sister Nicole for teaching me that mainstream music is not the good music that's out there. I remember being in my mom's Astro Van and getting more excited to hear Tom Petty's 'Free Fallin'' or 'I Won't Back Down', than I was to hear Britney Spears. I knew I wasn't a typical teenager. And I liked it.

I may have never had a crush on a boy band, but I can say that I've hit the pavement for Coco Sumner. The daughter of Sting [her birth alone made her cooler than any female on planet earth], a model, actress and singer. She's a triple threat to society, not just the entertainment industry. If I could wake up one morning and be anyone in the world, I would choose her. [Sorry Obama.] With a face, a voice and talent like that, you don't need much else in life.

I stumbled upon her existence completely on accident, [Best accident I ever encountered] and am now completely entranced in her music. Check out her video for Caesar by clicking HERE. This video reminds me of this one day/night in Brooklyn. [We'll save that story for another day.]

Turn off your radio. Go to an indie cd store and just pick something up. See what other people are picking up and maybe just buy it on a whim. There's SO much good music out there if you just turn your radio off and find it. If you want the names of some good bands that you've never heard of, that's practically the entity of my vocabulary, so hit me up!

Current Listen: Caesar/18 With A Bullet - I Blame Coco

Brooklyn

2010-03-09T18:27:00.000-08:00

Photo by: Gabe Cariola/Ali Duda (BFF)

I owe you seven days of apologies.

I've been spending many of the last seven days in New York. Three, to be exact. Thursday night I went to this awesome place, Barcade, in Brooklyn with my good bro Rob. They have twenty to twenty five old school video games, which I devoured with my soul. We stayed at his sisters in Clinton Hill, where we devoured 3am falafel and woke up as the sun was rising to the most amazing view of Brooklyn I have ever seen in my life. We walked around Clinton HIill all day Friday and did some awesome stuff. We came up with a new business venture (which will soon be released), and picked up some old/awesome chairs that someone was throwing in the garbage. We picked up them up off the sidewalk, and carried them back to his car. When we saw people walk by we would stop & sit down, talking about how uncomfortable the curb looked, just to make people laugh. It was nice to see smiles on such a beautiful day. Thinking about moving to Clinton Hill instead of Willyb.

Sunday was another Manhattan/Brooklyn day. I brought some friends to my "home town" in Brooklyn to see where I spent all of my free time. I brought them back to Barcade, where I got high score on Ghost & Goblins and Ladybug, and probably spent a total of $20 in quarters on playing games, ate Thai Chow Fun until it bled out of my body, and was serenaded by my waitress. Then I found a playground in the middle of Nolita, where I flipped over the side of a swirly side, body slammed onto the pavement beneath me, and now have bruised ribs. All in the name of fun. I forgot how exhausting being a four year old is. (Pictures to come soon, I promise.)

It's been an awesome past week, to say the least. It made me realize how I can't let a single day pass me by without doing something out of the ordinary/fun/productive/beautiful. It also made me realize how much I really do belong in Brooklyn. How much happier I am there, how much more free I am there. I've been asked, numerous times, why I don't live there yet .... because I am Brooklyn.

Big, big things have been happening. I've never been happier with the direction that things are going and I've never been more excited about life. I'm loving every single minute of this life and taking it all in for what it's worth. You should all be doing the same.

Current Listen: Wind Phoenix - Cymbals Eat Guitars

Visit The Lineup, my music site, where I reveal my latest discovery/reviews on underground/indie music that you should grow to love. Right now.

Paper Bullets [ART] -New Additions-

2010-03-02T19:14:00.000-08:00

The secret about girls is that ...

Falling Away

I have ten fingers. And I will use them all.

Chat Roulette

2010-03-01T18:51:00.000-08:00

Meet guys like this guy on Chat Roulette.

WARNING: This is seriously graphic/hilarious/disturbing/slightly unbelievable. Please be so kind as to not judge ME, as I was nothing more than an innocent bystander. The looney tunes in this situation are the ones to be judged.

I'm not sure if you've ever heard of a new social networking site (well ... sort of), called Chat Roulette. A friend of mine was giving me the run down on it. Of course, my skeptical side had to poke and prod. Basically you just type in www.chatroulette.com, click "Allow" to turn on your video camera, and random people show up on your screen. No signing up or anything. It's completely 100% anonymous, aside from your face, of course. I could have been Helen Keller who worked at a Laundromat if I wanted to, and an Olympic Gold Medalist gymnast to the next guy if I felt compelled to be that. You can either choose to talk to them, or "next" them, by clicking next. The very first face that showed up on my screen, was a man that has nappy long blonde hair and ears gauged SO big, that I could probably fit my fist through them. Terrifying. The following list are the next few people I saw, in actual order:

A middle aged man's penis ... make that two. AND one man in red tighty whities with gut rolling over the elastic. Not cute.

A very hairy man with a completely solid unibrow.

Someone's dad.

A guy that wanted to play guitar for me. (Had his camera not frozen, I would have let him.)

A group of 5 very, umm, "unique" kids.

A guy who wouldn't show anything BUT his pecs/guns.

A guy who stared blankly at me for a solid 3 minutes and 20 seconds. (I timed him.)

A midget (I am not kidding.)

And a 12 year old girl from England who instantly judged me.

However, I did find one legit human being in this pool of creepy specimen. His name is Paul, an awesome kid from Manchester, UK. The first, and only, ACTUAL person I talked to on here. He's the editor for the show Most Haunted. (He could be lying, yes, but that's a pretty random fact to make up about yourself, no?) He also told me that he used to work in a stationary shop selling pencils. He always hated his job until now. I can see why.

Then I talked to some guy ... an unexplainably good looking guy, mind you, who was from Portugal. His name was Fabio (typical), and he works for a computer company, although by the looks of him, I think Calvin Klein underwear modeling would be a much more suiting career choice for him. Just sayin'! And I kid you not. My pop pop used to wear these shirts, it sort of looked like a polo, but it has this little pocket on the chest. Fabio was wearing one, old man print and everything. I was hysterical when I saw him on my screen. Absolutely died.

While I felt completely and utterly creepy talking to these two people, it was actually kind of cool to talk to someone from the UK and from Portugal, in the same day. Not exactly something you get to do everyday. While I definitely don't see myself sitting on this thing all night while I'm bored and have nothing better to do, it was cool to at least check out. If you decide to do the same, please be warned ... its 90% creeps out there. Fair warning!

Woke Up To A New Life

2010-02-28T13:43:00.000-08:00

My lucky tattoos - Old School-Style Hearts.

Adorable.

I woke up this morning after a twelve hour "sleep" - I think I died for twelve hours instead of actually slept. My poor little bones. After a series of yet more completely twisted dreams (I dreamt that I was 9 months pregnant, and I was pounds shots and beers, and nobody cared.), I then woke up to an unplanned psychotically busy/productive day. My life literally took a turn for the best today. Let me fill you in.

I've had this "secret project" that has been in the process of being planned out for a few months now. For once, I have actually been able to halt the teasers and keep my mouth shut about it, simply for the fact that I continually jinx myself. My good friend is a born genius at web design, so we collaborated on this genius idea. Unfortunately, I can't give you the full detail on the project until the site launches, but to give you a little insight on what's going down, it's basically a fully music-based website that will act as an outlet for indie/underground artists, shedding a little light on their work, getting them out in the world without them having to sell out and be "that band" that we all frown upon. (We hate mainstream.) The site is called The Lineup. And it's really an incredible thing. I'm so excited to blab about it once the site launches!

About two hours after digging into the first orders of business for The Lineup, I got a phone call from someone asking if I had ever considered showing my art in galleries. Of course I had. It's on my Mini Dream list of things to accomplish in life. Any artist would jump at the opportunity to have their art in galleries. After talking to this guy for a little while, he offered to do partial leg work for me in getting my art into galleries. He immediately called some galleries, and they agreed to see my work. I was dumbfounded. Really? Is this all happening in a matter of a few hours? My life is disgustingly artistic right now. And this is EXACTLY where I always dreamed to be. Maybe those tattoos I got on Friday are my lucky tattoos.

So, I will be putting all of my art into portfolio form (hello hours of eyeball strain), while simultaneously working on a laundry list of things for The Lineup. I knew something good was coming. And if this isn't it, then I don't think I can handle what's next to come.

Life is good. Dreams DO come true. Just have a little patience and a solid focus, and it'll all come in stride.

Current Listen: Liars - Houseclouds

Party 'till 6am and end up on magazine covers.

2010-02-21T15:44:00.000-08:00

...especially the ones that go until 6am.

Today was made up of all of my favorite things, squeezed into twenty four hours. This is what Sundays were made for.

Aside from the fact that I went to bed as the sun was rising and the birds were chirping, less than three hours of sleep was apparently the perfect amount to send me buzzing on a Sunday morning. I woke up to my daily cinnamon bun flavored coffee chugging routine and begun the best day. Ever. My sister and bro (in law) and I went to this particularly awesome thrift/vintage vinyl flea market. We devoured bloodys and sifted through endless piles of vinyl, racks of all the vintage clothing, shoes, and accessories a girl can handle. Followed by my first ever visit to Aldi, where I felt the urge to say every single ridiculous "brand name" out loud. (Cheese Town, as opposed to Cheez-Itz and Aunt Maple, as opposed to Aunt Jemima were just two of my favorites.) Then we had tacos, my favorite food on planet earth, and now, it's lazy time. My legs literally throb from dancing all night.

Last night was a bit ridiculous, to say the least. My first priority was getting myself all dolled up and going to some work party at some fancy banquet hall. Cocktail dress and platform heels en tow, I pranced my way over this party, sipped on sangria, and danced to Michael Jackson and hold school hip hop tunes that were really difficult to hold a beat to. I took it as a challenged and danced all over it. The next thing in order, was to make it to a huge duo birthday party. The catch? Arrive in one piece. Making the transition from fancy cocktail dress and heels to liquid leggings, my 1920's inspired shoes, a black v neck tee with holes all over it, and my new favorite oversized denim button down that I stole from my mom's closet, circa 1982. I prefer the latter, but do enjoy a night playing dress up and having good manners. This time, though, I danced too hard, too long, to fresh spun tunes from the year 3000. Time was apparently nonexistent, and I ended up driving home at 6:30am. Whoops. Needless to say, there's nothing like a night with my bros. They're my favorite people in the world.

Something totally weird happened today. While grabbing tacos, I picked up a copy of Night & Day. My face dropped when I looked at the front cover. Um. I was on it. Awkward?

Here's to beginning a new week. Mondays are no fun days.

Current Listen: Baby - The Phenomenal Handclap Band (This is seriously a must listen. Especially if you're a fan of '70's ish music, or Moneybrother, then you'll love this.) Click the link and watch the video ... that's the best part!

New Additions To Paper Bullets [ART]

2010-02-18T18:36:00.000-08:00

Simulate

I tried to write you a letter,

but this is what you get.

There is no middle man.

New Additions To Paper Bullets [ART]

2010-02-14T17:11:00.000-08:00

Lofty Oaks

Blood Bath

Soaked In Yourself

Put On Your Apron

2010-02-13T10:55:00.000-08:00

Tree flower.

Wish these were real.

If I've ever had a single doubt that I am afraid of commitment, this is the be all, tell all that I am most definitely not.

I made the decision a few days ago to go raw vegan. This means that you eat very very few cooked foods, (if they are cooked, they are to be either whole grains, like quinoa or brown rice, or vegetables) and all fruits, veggies, and the like. Going raw is not new to me. I went raw for a few months in between being vegetarian and vegan, and loved it to death. I had incredible amounts of energy, yes, even without coffee, and I was able to create and eat amazingly tasty foods ... all without feeling bad about eating an obnoxious amount of something.

I've been noticing that my body has not been digesting processed foods well, at all. I swell up, get so fatigued that I can barely think straight, I've been sleeping terribly, and I've just been feeling overall yucky. Being that it's the beginning of a new year, I usually do a detox around this time of year (I usually detox in the beginning of the year, and again right as summer starts/during summer). My body probably knew it was about time to detox. It's been on it's worst behavior.

Today I went raw vegan food shopping, which was a bitter sweet two hours of my life. I'm so excited to start fresh, but at the same time, my favorite arrowroot cookies looked so delicious on that shelf. I got more fruits & veggies than I can fit into my refrigerator (literally), and I stumbled upon my new favorite addition to everything I'm going to consume for now on - Agave Nectar. Think of it as a kind of honey, just much sweeter and lighter. They should call it crack in a bottle, and that's without ever exaggerating.

Today I experimented a little for lunch, and came up with a quick, incredible tasting little number. Here's what happened in the kitchen:

Ingredients:

- 6 romaine lettuce leaves, washed and dried

- a shredded combination of raw purple cabbage, carrots andbroccoli hearts

- diced tomatoes

- diced cucumber

- roasted soy nuts

- dried cranberries

- raisins

- sunflower seeds

- low sodium soy sauce

- agave nectar

Mix all veggies, fried fruit, nuts, and seeds in a bowl. Add a splash of soy sauce. Toss with a fork.

Pile into a lettuce leaf and drizzle agave nectar on top.

Devour!

I have those obnoxious taste buds that crave something sweet after I eat every single meal. This totally diminished that habit, which was a godsend! I was totally satisfied, flavor and full-wise. Success! (Especially considering I'm a disaster in the kitchen.)

Here's to eating healthier and getting a little creative in the kitchen. Throw your recipes up in the air and do you're own thing!

Paper Bullets [ART] -New Additions-

2010-02-11T19:29:00.000-08:00

Underwater with time to kill ...

Battle of One

Concrete Jungle

Far, far away in a land that time can't change.

Selling the secret to the sun.

Static

Untitled

I Think I'm Addicted To Not Getting Enough Sleep

2010-02-10T22:18:00.000-08:00

Even these dirty hands could be used as

inspiration for a new piece.

Everything looks like art to these eyes.

Finally grasping the ability to tear myself away from my mac book, I laid in bed for a total of 15 seconds before ripping the covers off of me, swinging my legs to the left, popping up and turning the light on, singlehandedly swooping my mac book up off of my night stand, before I got to where I am right now. Here. Writing a blog. For you.

I've come to realize today that I am indefinitely addicted to not getting enough sleep. No matter how tired I am, I mentally persuade myself into staying up longer. In the event that I actually do make it to bed at a decent hour, it takes me no less than two hours to fall asleep, due to my thought process that is the equivalent to socks on a rug - enough friction to send electronic shocks down your body, dare I close my eyes.

Not that I'm in a rush to blog about anything in particular, I just felt compelled. Kind of like I felt compelled to eat those vegan nachos at 10pm last night. Bad idea.

Speaking of bad ideas ... I have officially ended the Pickle debate. And you'll understand why after you read through this. I believe I left off with the night that I was being chased down the empty streets of New York by a Moth Man. The following night (and my last pickle, thank God), I had one last nightmare. You would think that multiple nights of pickle eating before bedtime would really mess with your head, causing multiple nightmares that will most likely leave you scarred for life if you were to ever encounter a trigger from one of your nightmares, or a pickle. Instead, my nightmare freakishly picked up exactly where it left off. Tell me you're not already terrified. And you haven't even heard the actual nightmare yet ...

As Moth Man was flapping his wings and getting closer and closer to me, I ran fast and faster. [The coolest part of this nightmare, is that I was wearing all black: black skinny jeans, a black tee, and a black leather jacket. How stealth of me.] I was terrified of Moth Man, for obvious reasons, but felt like I could really outrun him. We ran for hours. Most of the nightmare was just running, looking back, being unexplainably terrified, then more running, repeat, repeat. Then I remembered a critical tool that was in my pocket. A gun. I pulled out my gun. Turned around, and shot Moth Man with the angriest face I could make. Now that Moth Man is dead, I've ended my pickle eating before bed routine. Now Moth Man can never come back. Ever. Because I killed him. No more pickles.

Here's a few random thoughts that are on my mind [in no particular order]:

I engaged in a little small talk with a friend earlier about how the news reports falsities. Let me elaborate. The "news" on the news are not so much "news" at all. They are in fact stories that could potentially rope viewers in, mainly during dinner time, to get them interested. Then, not only does the ridiculousness stop there, but they insist on dragging it out for days, just to keep you coming back for more. I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure that Tiger Woods' affairs happens all over the world, every second of the day. Why does the media feel the need to drag it out for months, just because the guy can hit a golf ball and has a gig with Gatorade. Maybe this is just my big heart and the things I've seen with my own two eyes, but I think we, as a nation, can come up with a couple of things to talk about, rather than love affairs. Celebrity related stories should not be allowed on the news, unless it's a death/birth. But that's just my opinion.

Have you ever wondered if every single person actually has an aura? In case you're unfamiliar with what an "aura" is, it is the glow of colors that surround a person. Some people feel that the colors reflect the inner soul of a person. I wish I had the ability to see people's aura's. I definitely feel a certain color on a daily basis, usually more than one color as the day progresses. (I sound ridiculous, I know.) But I'm never actually seen an aura. I guess some people feel intense emotion or feel a certain way physically, I just feel like a color. By the way, today I feel celeste, a very pale blue. I've been sleepy and napping all day, and kind of in a mellowed out mood. Definitely a change of pace for me.

I would like to make a list of all of the things that I see in one day. Then compare that list with a list of things that I remember from that day. Just to see if it would surprise me in either direction.

I am in serious need of a mental health day. If I could have just one mental health day, this is what my agenda would look like:

- Sleep late and wake up without an alarm clock. [Waking up naturally, when the body is done being fully rested is the healthiest way to wake up.]

- Take a shower, followed by a hot bath. [Lights off, candles lit, and mimosa included.]

- Go to the park/beach/ride my bike. Anything outdoors that will give me inspiration.

- Paint for hours off of my inspiration from activity listed above.

- Spend time with someone that I really enjoy the company of.

- Spend a little time writing.

- Paint some more.

I am easy to please. In fact, if you'd really like to impress me, take me to a park I've never been to before. Or take me to an art exhibit or gallery. Or maybe take me to one of those indie film viewings they have have on the roof of a building in Brooklyn. [THAT, is pure romance to me.] Then you can take me out for a small dinner at a hole in the wall restaurant that I've probably walked by a hundred times, never looking twice at, but they have the best food. If you spend any more than $25-$30 on me on our date, then you've tried to hard. Why do guys feel like they have to go big to impress? Honestly, hand me a flower that you picked from a strangers garden, and tell me that's where you got it from, and you'll probably have me right there.

Unfortunately, I do not have this worry. Boys simply do not want to date me. I blame it on living within the wrong demographic.

Current Listen: Dance Dance Dance - Lykke Li [Lykke is adorable, she really is, but she is definitely a strange bird. My friend introduced me to her music and, while I need to be in the right mood to listen to her, she's got a good thing going. Give it a spin!]

Pickled Nightmares

2010-02-08T18:25:00.000-08:00

Put yer $ where yer mouth iz!

CRUNK-A-THON

My best friend, Ashley, and myself.

How terrifying.

In my last post, I filled you in on how my friends and I were filled with straight up skepticism about the old wives tail of how eating pickles before you go to bed gives you terrible nightmares. Last night, I ate [some of the best friggen] pickles, I brushed my teeth, and I went to bed. This is the state in which I woke up.

I was walking down the empty streets of New York. Seventh Ave. in Manhattan, mind you, basically a "main street" in NY, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the state. Now, we all know perfectly well that there is never, ever an empty street in New York. That itself was creepy. I felt some sort of presence behind me. I turn around with that typical horror movie kind of looking over your shoulder move. In the far distance, something was landing , like an airplane would land. Only it was a man ... with wings. As he landed, he was running and flapping his wings. He got closer, and I realized that a giant moth-man was chasing me. A MOTH MAN. Chasing me. Down an empty street of new york. Now I know this sounds nothing near nightmarish, but believe me when I say it was terrifying. His face looked kind of human, but he had big moth eyes. I was kind of afraid that he was going to bite holes in my clothes. [His teeth were vicious looking.] He looked like he was out to get me, and not in a "I'm just an innocent insect' kind of way.

Unfortunately, I woke up before the dream ended. But I'm determined to see if this was just a coincidence, or if this nightmare pickle debacle is actually true. On a side note, my friends who were in on the pickle debate also all had nightmares. I say we do this again and run the two out of three rule.

Tonight will be round two of pickles before bed. It's like self-torture, I'm not even kidding.

Current Listen: Kings and Queens - 30 Seconds To Mars [The drums in this songs are NUTS!!!!]

New Pieces in Paper Bullets [ART]

2010-02-07T20:01:00.000-08:00

Mirage #3

Funny thing about this painting (and the other two like it). I found these oddly green colored folders in my basement. They were nice and thick, which is something I NEED when I paint. These folders came in this plastic box, and there were these thin, flat metal bars that ran through the opening of the folders, so it can sit upright in the box without falling & making a mess. So i deconstructed the folder, took the bar out, and it became my new favorite painting tool. It looks like a long blade, which I imagined would be perfect for smearing. So, I did just that. And I'm in love with how it came out. I could have done this all day ...

Mirage #1

Mirage #2

Distilled Romance
I experimented with some lace scraps that I found. I love the b&w image, and how the image itself isn't even the focal point.

Love is a foreign feeling.

Silent Echo

Pickle Juice

2010-02-07T16:03:00.000-08:00

Animation at Lunch.

[Lovely Day, Nolita]

Lower East Side babes.

Dave's a stalker when he has his camera in his bands.

[My best friend Ashley.]

This weekend, I made it rain with oversized one hundred dollar bills, found my long lost friend that I haven't seen in eight years and somehow made my way to his apartment in the upper west side to talk and catch up at 4am, made my way into Brooklyn Sunday morning to buy pickles at Brooklyn Brine and eat them in the freezing cold with runny noses with my Brooklyn Brat Pack, almost started crying when the bro across from me on the L train got a violent bloody nose out of nowhere, found a bandana covered in scary, vicious looking zombies on it in my bag, and woke up with scratches all over my arms. I'm banking on the fact that I just had a killer weekend.

I've been noticing this weird trend lately. It's becoming "cool" to say that you have anxiety. Remember when people would listen to bands like My Chemical Romance, Jameson Parker, Dashboard Confessional, Thursday, From Autumn To Ashes and Matchbook Romance, because they can "totally relate" to the lyrics? It was cool to be emo for a minute, but quickly became a joke when bros started wearing black eyeliner. "That guy must listen to a lot of My Chem." Being someone who is unfortunate enough to actually have to deal with anxiety on a daily basis (over stupid things, mind you), I can tell you that it's not cool. Maybe having anxiety is the new emo, except you want to slit your wrists for other reasons. Maybe it's just me, but I've been hearing a lot of kids saying, "Yea man, I have really bad anxiety, that's why I'm being so weird." Or maybe you're just weird ...

After this [wreckless] weekend, I've realized that it's not necessarily necessary to shower, or even brush your hair on a daily basis. All day today, I've had friends, even random strangers telling me, "you're hair is really pretty", and "you're hair looks so hot". FYI, I haven't brushed my hair in two days. And I'm guilty of not even having a legit shower in almost 48 hours. Good to know I don't have to be hygienic to be a babe. I think I'm going to be less hygienic more often.

Today I went to Brooklyn Brine with my friends in Brooklyn to buy pickles. Our main reason was because we had a debate over the old wives' tale that if you eat pickles right before you go to sleep at night, you have terrible nightmares. [It has something to do with the acidity in them.] Being a group of spontaneous skeptics, and lucky for us, pickle lovers, we went pickle shopping to put this OWT to the test. Of course, we had to buy triple the pickles we actually needed, because we have the patience of a group of four year olds. Never had a better tasting pickle in my life. I will, of course, let you know if pickles really do bring on the nightmares after tonight.

Today I feel Aeneous, a bright, obnoxious shining bronze. There's no other way to describe me other than that color for this entire weekend. Put yer shades on.

Current Listen: Keep Yourself Warm - Frightened Rabbit

New Additions To Paper Bullets [ART]

2010-02-04T18:51:00.000-08:00

Slipping Under

I painted this while I was talking to one of my incredibly close friends about life, and how I feel like I'm in this spot where I'm kind of stuck, it's not going up, and it's not going down. He told me to just kind of roll with it, thing's are always different on the inside than they are on the outside. As I was painting this, it looked like an octopus, stuck under a really rough current. All he could do is lay there until it all blows over, the

TENTive

This mimics an Aztec tent in some modernized form.

What it means to be free.

Unfinished painting. (Something I'm making for someone.)
Acrylics on charcoal iridescent stock.

I woke up today.

My first few strokes were intended to make a dark wave with colors intertwined. The result was an eyeball...

Another Day In Paradise

2010-02-03T16:38:00.000-08:00

Precisely the current state of my life at the moment.

And I don't hate it a bit.

I'm currently writing this post for you all in the fetal position on my bed, due to an intense overdose of Tofutti ice cream. Who knew dairy free ice cream could be so painful afterwards? Maybe the fact that I was already currently nauseous should have been a slight inclination of what was to come.
Never. Again.

My apologizes for the lack of meaty posts. Friday night was the beginning of my my body's attempt to fully shut down in slow motion over the course of six days (and still counting). I went to the emergency room on friday night (because that's every twenty five year old's place of choice to spend their friday night, isn't it?), with excruciating pain that was in fact so bad, that I could barely walk, stopping me in my tracks when I tried to be too cool and "walk it off". I know the anatomy of a human being about as well as I know the anatomy of a wild buffalo, so naturally, I thought I was either about to experience some sort of bodily implosion, or I was about to give birth via my love handle. Believe me when I tell you that anything felt possible at that moment.

So, there I laid on a stretcher in the hallway of a hospital, with my arm in some nurses grip as she mercilessly shoves an IV into my arm. I wanted to sing her praises when she told me that she was putting the pain killers in, via IV. That instantly changed from me wanting to pull her fingernails off one by one when she actually injected the pain killers. I lay there in shame, yelling, "My eyes! My eyes burn so bad!!!", flinging my free arm over my face. I peeked over at my sister, standing at the edge of my stretcher, looking completely and totally confused and perplexed. Like I was about to be, or should be, rolled off into a white padded room. "Do you want me to hold off on the rest?", the nurse asks, without pausing the injection of what felt like bleach, into my veins. "I don't know ... how much is left an how much are you supposed to give me?", I asked her, trying to eye up the syringe. "Ok, you're done.", she says with a smile. What is WRONG with that woman???

Let's make a long story short, because trust me when I tell you that you want to know nothing about the details. Like how my ultra sound somehow turned into an "internal" ultrasound. (The pain was near my pelvis, use you're own imagine to figure out how they got all internal on me...) And how I almost got walked in on by a little mexican cleaning man while I was trying to get dressed back into my clothes after my bodily violation of an ultra sound, and by trying to get dressed, I mean stumbling around with no pants on, while tangled up in my IV line. (Why they leave a doped up person on pain killers in the room alone is beyond me.) Regardless, I was able to leave there with a good laugh/story to tell. Of course, it wasn't this funny at the time. Then again, I also don't have eyeballs that feel like they're flaming from my face to P me off.

Aside from six days of nausea/abdominal pains that can kill a lumberjack, I've been spending time on the floor of my room painting .... and painting .... and painting. My stack of paintings is getting quite high. I've been giving them away just to make more room! Not that I ever like to see them go ...
I bought a ton of new paints, acrylics and watercolors that I've been abusing to the fullest extent of the painting law. Arrest me.

Here's some new additions to Paper Bullets. (Please ignore my DNA inspired sheets as the background.)

Color the era.

[Watercolors]

You always look for a bigger bang ...

[Pink gun, got rough with the brush to make it look like "bullet holes"

with red/pink hearts in the center of them, and grey "smoke"

forming hearts and pretty things.]

Revelry

Letting the memories out ...

Tadpole

Today I feel Gridelin, a violet-grey hue. Kind of deep and somber, but still spiked with fun.

Current Listen: Phil Collins - Another Day In Paradise (Have you ever listened to this song and imagined it remixed? Someone please make my dreams come true...)

Paper Bullets [ART]

2010-01-31T19:53:00.000-08:00

Rudimentary Puddles

(Painted on satin fabric done over with a clean water brush to give it a softer feel,
while keeping it bold.)

Detail

Cut out all the ropes and let me fall.

proVISIONal

I love the sporadic feel of this.

Vanished ...

Atrous Lurid
Reminds me of cave formations made by water.
I originally wanted to name this one 'Cave Dweller', but felt that the color was the most predominant force behind this painting.

Life in unexpected places.
You can't see the detail, but it's a dead, static-y looking tree with tiny red buds scattered
throughout it. Reminds me to not take something for what the first glance is worth.

The Great Escape
Painted on iridescent bronze stock.
I get a sense of "hurry up" or "rush" when I look at this. Those two factors combined remind me of city life.

Disorderly

Bloodline
Acrylic paint done over with a clean brush with water.
Allows it to be bold, but with a watercolor, soft feel to it.

Vain

formspring.me

2010-01-28T21:03:00.001-08:00

How was your day?

Pretty amazing. My assistant let me put peacock blue eyeshadow on him AND he (yes, HE!) left it on all day. My job is way too much fun!

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-01-28T19:31:00.001-08:00

Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate AND Vanilla soy milk.
Chocolate (vegan) ice cream.
Boom Choco Boom vegan chocolate bars are THE best.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-01-28T16:44:00.001-08:00

Has anyone told you , you look like sarah jessica parker?=)

DEFINITELY a first. I get Lindsay Lohan, Jenny Lewis, Schuyler Fisk (the girl from the movie Orange County), and weirdly, Kate Husdon. Apparently I'm very unoriginal looking. :)

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-01-28T14:50:00.001-08:00

Are you originally from New York/New Jersey? I'm so jealous. I've also wanted to go to New York, I live in Australia.

I'm jealous you live in Australia! I live in NJ, but spend all of my free time/weekends in NY. I'm working on moving there as we speak!

Ask me anything

All My Eyes Crave ...

2010-01-26T16:20:00.000-08:00

Today I feel Lurid, a reddish yellow hue. Half serious, half "never take me seriously". It was an odd day. But a good day.

I was able to add a few more additions to the Paper Bullets collection. Hope your eyes enjoy looking at them as much as my hands enjoyed creating them.

The Great Escape.

I wish you could see this one a little better.

The paper is iridescent bronze.

I get a sense of "hurry up" or "rush" when I look at this.

Those two factors combined remind me of city life.

Life in unexpected places.

This is my favorite so far. You can't see the detail,

but it's a dead, static-y - looking tree with tiny red

buds all over it. Reminds me to not take something

for what the first glance is worth.

Atrous Lurid

Reminds me of cave formations made by water.

Originally wanted to name this one 'Cave Dweller', but felt that

the color was the most predominant force behind this painting.

Current Listen: My Will Is Good - Port O'Brien

Paper Bullets

2010-01-25T18:31:00.000-08:00

Art nerds unite.

With paint splattered, smudged, and dunked fingers, hands and clothing, I humbly bring you some art made by my own two tiny hands, from the inspiration and imagination of my buzzing brain, bubbling over with creativity.

With paper, fabric, ripped and torn cardboard, sets and tubes of paints and a set of a dozen brushes sprawled across one quarter of my bedroom, I sat myself on my floor and painted for hours. (I can only paint sitting on the floor on the bedroom. My mother wants to kill me.) Feeling content with the outcome, I've decided to spread this contagious inspiration, and reveal my pieces to my loyal, fellow readers.

Art is my worst habit. I'd ditch anyone to sit in my room and paint. I've called out of work because I was feeling extra creative and didn't want it to go to waste. I've gone an entire day without washing my hands, splattered with paint, because the creativity factor was so thrilling. Art is a drug. My pupils expand when I see something interesting, I find myself in daydreams, inspired by so much as a crumbed Styrofoam coffee cup next to a subway grate on a street in New York, I can't concentrate because my creativity levels are too high.

My artwork is rarely realistic. (I love abstract art, the kind that makes no sense, only to the artist.) I experiment with brush strokes and let them do the thinking for me, creating the next step. My brain is going at warp speed, but really, no thinking is required. Abstract art is what mainly spikes my interest, although all art is profoundly beautiful.

Laid before you is what I've created in the last three hours. Enjoy. There will be much more to look forward to.

Rudimentary Puddles

Painted on satin fabric.

Rudimentary Puddles

Detail View

Cut out all the ropes and let me fall.

proVISIONal

Vanished...

Current Listen: I Woke Up Today - Port O'Brien

Let It Trot

2010-01-24T16:35:00.000-08:00

This guy and his headdress RULE

Life is about ten percent of what happens to you, and ninety percent of how you react to it.

I heard this quote today and it struck a cord in me. You know when you're barely thinking, just kind of going with the groove of your day/where you're at in life, and something stops you in your tracks. It's that thing that you just heart, at that moment, that is most likely to stick with you longer than someone who attempts to lecture you with their "advice".

It's inevitable, both good and bad things will happen to you on a daily basis, their little paws trotting down your happy little path of what we know as life. Let it trot. It's not only what you endure on a daily basis, but how you handle it. Take it like a champ, and you'll be on top.

Today started out super lazy, slept way too late at my favorite bro's house and didn't actually begin functioning until 2:00pm. REWIND: Last night, our whole crew went to a benefit show that was thrown for my bro's in Driver Side Impact since they lost their van. These are my best bros in the world, if you're into new/good/catchy music, then check out these dudes: Driver Side Impact American Living Crash Romeo. While we're on the topic, my best friend in the world, Julian (he's BITW ... best in the world, it's known all over the world), is the newest addition to Hot In The City. Probably some of the catchiest beats you'll hear at the moment. I see big things for these bros. Back on track ... the show was incredible, DSI did a cover of Acceptance's Take Cover, which is my favorite song of the moment for the past four months. So that was ridiculous. Last night was just nuts. My head finally hit the pillow at five am. Worth it.

Aside from the lazyiness/pure lack of motivation, I was getting a little worried midday on my drive home. This might be weird to some, but everyday, I relate the way that I feel to a color. The coolest thing is naming your color in the morning, and again later on at night after you've done you're daily things, and compare the two. It can tell a world of stories about that one single day. When I can't depict my color mood, it means that I have near no creative juices flowing/inspiration running through these little bones of mine. Then, out of nowhere (around seven o'clock at night, to be precise), I got a rush of ideas of things that I want to create and do. I feel better about my day now.

Today I feel zinnober, a guacamole kind of green. Content, bright, ready for a fresh beginning and new things to come my way. My mind is 110% open to anything that happens to stumble upon my path. I'm ready. Let's do this.

Current Listen: Hey, Soul Sister - Train (So catchy)

The Way You're Movin' Ain't Fair, You Know

2010-01-23T00:14:00.000-08:00

Christmas Tree Light Art.

Admirable.

This is news to absolutely no one, but I need to announce that Target has some sort of spell that they whisk upon you via the air vents as you enter the automatic doors that oh-so-gracefully greet you with open arms.

I've learned, mainly by many close encounters of practically emptying my bank account at the cashiers' feet at every checkout of every Target visit I endure, to go to Target with a list. A very specific list. Now, for those of you that know me, you're probably thinking, "Oh, this is just another excuse for Ali to make another list." (I LOVE lists.) Today, I realized that even with a list, I was still thrown off my game and ended up with so many unnecessary things in my cart (which, by the way, I bought in it's entirety). Target was either built on some Native American burial ground filled with Native American Indian babes that had shopping problems and are haunting and spreading their spirits throughout the isles, or they have some seriously intense marketing plan that has grasped the mind of each and every American to walk through those red doors.

Today I set out to go to Target with a specific list of three things:

1. Eyeliner (I somehow managed to smush the little remains of my existing eyeliner that were left into the cap this morning. RIP Eyeliner.)
2. Coffee/Chai Tea.
3. Nail polish ... as a present to myself for working my butt off this week.
* And Legos ... Don't laugh, but I had this insatiable urge to attempt to make art with Legos. Apparently, our generation is too "modernized" to "build things from scratch". There were no straight up Legos. At all. Just "themed" legos, like barns and princess castles and tree houses. How depressing.

I found everything I was looking for. That goes without saying. If there's one major perk about Target, it's that you will always find what you're looking for. (Minus the Legos. In defense of Target, I was looking for the 1990's version of them ... the big 'ol bucket with 500+ primary colored bricks for your building pleasure inside. Does not exist. RIP Legos from 1990 something.) However, possessing this wide array of product can be damaging to one's lifestyle, relationship with family members (when they hear you're going to Target, they begin to dread the typical, "Can you help me with my bags? They're killin' me!" question), and most of all ... bank accounts. There should be a Target self-help hotline. No, seriously. I'm not a gambler, but I go to Target on a weekly basis. Help?

So, what did I walk out of target with? I can tell you that $80 later and definitely more than 3 items were my possession. Read below for the random horror that occurs at each and every Target visit that I construct for myself:

1. Eyeliner
2. Coffee
3. Chai Tea
4. Nail Polish (Which was ironically the same exact one I already had at home.)
5. Juice boxes (I only have 11 left at home, I was running low.)
6. Fruit Nuggets. (Don't ask)
7. Organic Fruit Bars (In two different flavors.)
8. Socks
9. An entire case of La Croix flavored seltzer water (Which I never even had before. And I don't even think I like seltzer water!)
10. Eyeshadow
11. Face Wash (That I didn't need ... but figured I should just get it now so I didn't have to worry about it when the time came. Major fail.)

As much as I'd like to type "JUST KIDDING", in big bold letters here, I unfortunately must admit that this is truth. Target makes me carry much more to my car than I intend. Not to mention, the debit card swipe at the end of your damage control session is probably the most painful thing in the world. I'd rather get rabies.

In other news, today I was soooo super mellow all day long. It was a nice change of pace from the super high intensity hyperactive person I've been for the past two weeks. I wasn't tired, or lethargic, I was just really chilled out all day. That makes me cyaneous for the day, a super pale blue. Kinda like the sky on a super lazy summer day.

After have a friend over and opening up my senses a bit, I'm feeling much more pavonate, more of a peacock blue. Vibrant, alert, and happy. Tomorrow I hope to be some sort of bronze or canary yellow.

I will be spending this weekend in Brooklyn, so I will not be able to post a blog until I get back. So be sure to check in and enjoy the massive event overload that will most definitely take place on Sunday night/Monday!

Current Listen: Hey, Soul Sister - Train (I can't get enough of this song. It's the happiest beat and cutest thing ever!!)

Shout Out Out Out

2010-01-19T17:29:00.000-08:00

This is just silly!

Hi!

While I wish today was spent in my room letting my creative juice flow all over the place, I had the displeasure of spending eight of my twenty four hour time limit of my life at work. Which, really, wasn't all that terrible. Unlike the mainstream population, I make fun out of anything and everything at work instead of complaining about hating it every fifteen minutes.

For example, I had to put away all of this stuff we took down from a bunch of displays with my assistant, Tom. Putting away stuff is never fun, that goes without saying. In the jumble of random things that ranged from everything from fake veggies to hand made bridal bouquets, I spotted something that was just screaming to be tormented by my imagination. It was none other than a fake basted turkey. (You don't have to read that again. It's true.) I picked it up and threw it up in the air as high as I could and yelled, "FLY!!!!" really, really loud. Tom instantly doubled over laughing, dropping a vase full of pebbles, as I caught the turkey on it's way down. I ran down our shop hall and Tom, knowing my crazy antics and out bursts of random fun activities, knew exactly what to do. He got into his football stance at the other end of the hall, and we started a game of Turkey Football, the end zone being the plus size mannequin (who we named the quarterback) at the end of the hall. My job isn't really all that terrible after all.

I realized that I did a lot of yelling today. Unintentional yelling. Like the kind of yelling that you do when you've just left a show and can't really hear, but you don't know you can't hear, so you talk really loud so that you can hear yourself, as you think you're "adjusting" to the volume of "the norm" again, annoying everyone else in your surrounding vicinity. I think my hearing is getting worse. Yea. I blame that.

If you guys haven't checked out the new Motion City Soundtrack record, My Dinosaur Life, that just came out today, it's a must listen/must own, for sure. I specifically recommend 'Stand Too Close' and 'Pulp Fiction' for your listening pleasure. You can check out Motion City's entire album for free here! I promise there is no disappointment here. Would I ever steer you wrong musically? BTW, it's already been named Album Of The Year ... and what month is it? Oh, right, January. See? THAT good.

Today I feel smaragdine, an emerald-y green. Especially considering my palm has been itching me like CRAZY today, I feel lucky, not to mention content and gushing with contagious happiness!

Current Listen: Stand Too Close - Motion City Soundtrack (I'm telling you, you gotta listen to it!) You can thank me later. :)

Massive Event Overload

2010-01-18T17:56:00.000-08:00

R.I.P. Moe Dog

The only boy I'll ever love. <3

Oh so eventful.

Don't get excited. This post will be an equal mix of both good and bad, happy and sad news. Put your swimmies on. We're divin' in.

Friday was the most heart wrenching day of my life. Literally speaking. The love of my life, apple of my eye, peanut butter to my jelly, whole heart and soul, Moe Dog, was put to sleep on Friday. Though he lived an amazing, long life, (he was 15 1/2 when he died), he has been having trouble walking and had become completely incontinent. And by trouble walking, I mean he would literally tumble down the stairs. Lord only knows how he managed to dodge what should have been at least sixteen broken legs. It was heartbreaking to watch to say the least. It got to the point where he wouldn't even go down the stairs anymore to eat or drink, or even go to the bathroom. We took him to the vet on Friday to find out what it was exactly that was wrong with him. We were told that he has a neurological disorder that begins at the bottom of your spine, and travels upward. It already got a hold of his muscles and nerves in his back legs, as well as his ability to control going to the bathroom. It was pretty much a downward spiral from there with no way out. The vet then asked if we were ready to put him down. What?

Without even a bat of an eye, my mother says yes. I instantly freaked out, started yelling and crying, and basically thew a fit. The vet actually had to leave the room to let us "work it out". I was not happy. I was really mean to my mom, which I had to later apologize for, and completely lost my mind from there. After an hour of slowing entering what I fully believe was a mental breakdown, and after my sisters showed up, they decided to put him to sleep. I ended up on the floor, crying hysterically, and shaking. I'm pretty sure that if a padded room was available nearby, I would have been escorted to it.

It really is the hardest thing in the world to deal with, and to believe it has even happened. In fact, I still don't have a grasp on it. Lord help me.

In other news, I have been trying to keep myself busy as much as possible. I've been doing a lot more art projects and have been channeling my even more creative side, more than usual. Anything that can keep me busy as this point, is seriously needed. I'm trying to come up with a new art project, something totally different than what I've been doing. I just can't put my finger on what yet. I'm sure I'll find something random to play with and end up making something crazy that will turn into a ferocious frenzy of nonstop multiplying variations. When I get excited about something, I just can't help it. It's like I need a room full of whatever it was I just made or something. Not to be mistaken with a hoarder.

I'm sure you all remember the post of when I hurt myself at work; I hurt myself pretty badly at work thanks to lifting a plus size mannequin, the day after my 25th birthday (making a joke to myself that I'm getting old). After 3 months of weekly doctor appointments (which, by the way, are still going...weekly), intense physical therapy, and an MRI, I got the results that I have a slipped disc. Having a gut feeling that that wasn't exactly it, I had my sister, who is a radiologist, show my film to a doctor in the hospital she works at. They found that right net to my slipped disc, I also have a torn ligament. Needless to say, I'm still lifting mannequins, and you can find me on a ladder drilling things into walls on any given day. Nice to see Macy's has concern for my well being. Workman's comp may not be far from my future. Hellooo bed rest. :)

Today I feel glaucous, a sea-foamy green. Almost bright, but not quite there yet. Let's hope for something brighter tomorrow.

Current Listen: Iron & Steel - His Name Shall Breathe

Living Like Kidz

2010-01-13T17:47:00.000-08:00

As I get older, I swear I'm actually getting mentally younger.

Work has been intensely exciting to go to, as my assistant and I have been having way too much fun. We came up with our own "language" to talk to each other in, and my boss has officially given up in trying to decipher what the heck we're talking about. All she says now is, "There's something wrong with you guys."

We both have this weird obsession with iCarly. Everything we say revolves around iCarly. Here's an example of one of our conversations today...
"Let's watch iCarly and then have an iPillow fight and drink too much iWine and then come into work tomorrow with really bad iHangovers."

Ok ... this is just embarrassing.

In all seriousness. Work has actually been really fun. I can honestly say that I enjoy going. I get paid loot to literlly laugh for nine hours a day about furbys, bald eagles wearing Rhianna styled wigs, howling like werewolves, having dance parties in our shop to terrible pop songs, and rapping my whitest white girl raps, replacing every 1 syllable word to "Tom", my assistant's name.

In all of our fun and games, I've started coming to work with "a joke a day" for Tom. They're purposely really, really terrible. So, I thought I'd bring a bad joke a day to my blog. Because it's just too funny.

What do you call something that sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck!
Haaaaaa

Today was a good day, kidz.

Current Listen: Movies - Alien Ant Farm

Walking On The Moon

2010-01-10T18:30:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been thinking and thinking ... and thinking about something, wondering if it's even actualy feasible?

On a daily basis, I come up with about a half dozen career possibilities that I think might best suit me. Twenty minutes later, it's been forgotten about. I've wanted to do everything from be a roadie for U2, or any band for that matter. I got the idea from seat E114 in Giants Stadium while at a U2 show. Watching these dudes that were my age - and definitely wearing the same size jeans as myself, meaning they had next to no meat on their bones - rolling amps and cases and cases of equipment off the stage, down a ramp, and out into the parking lot to load up and ship on out to the next show. 'If those skinny dudes can do it. I can do it.', I thought to myself, as I was quietly staring at the bee line going on down below as if I were watching a tiger sneak up on it's prey, wondering if they were just making it look that easy. I turned to my sister and said, "That's what I want to do! I wanna be a roadie!" She looked at me and laughed. I was serious. I lift plus size mannequins on a daily basis at work, for crying out loud. What makes me think I can't push an amp down a ramp?

Before my blogs ever came into the scene, I wanted my own fashion magazine. How I would even begin this idea was well beyond me. I didn't know the first thing about publishing, or anything of that sort. All I knew was that I loved to write, I loved fashion and art, and I knew about a dozen photographers who would kill to get their break. This dream quickly fizzled when I envisioned my puny fashion magazine next to something like Vogue and Bazaar on the magazine rack at Barnes & Noble. Pathetic.

I've been writing a short story, which, I would eventually like to try and publish. I'm pretty sure I gave you all a sneak peak in a previous post. (You might have to dig a few posts deep to find it.) I love writing. I always have, but never realized that I actually had some sort of talent at it until Hipster Sister happened. Thanks to YOU guys for giving me the compliments which, in turn pushed me to keep on writing blogs. Hopefully, someday, I can give you all something with substance to read.

I wish I could be some beloved poster child for one of the wittiest blogs on the web (without the stalkers and paparazzi). I adore bloggers like Rumi Neely of FashionToast - who gains closets full of loot and landed herself in magazines everywhere from Japan to the US. She's everywhere, but still somewhat underground. All because of her blog. I guess some people just have all the luck!

I keep wondering where it is I'll end up at the end of all of this hyperactive brain activity of trying to figure out where I fit. Something keeps telling me to collaborate with my friends somehow. I just wish I knew who. I have about a hundred friends in bands, friend's that are legit photographers, a friend who is becoming an environmental engineer (He's going to save the world when it falls apart. He's already looking into stock for Band Aid.), friends that work for major publicity firms (one in particular that reps Lindsay Lohan), and another friend who works for a post production company that deals with shows on Disney, Nickelodeon, and the like. (Maybe I can be the next iCarly? iAli? I like.)

Wherever I'm going to fit, I'm sure it's none of the above. Things have a funny way of working themselves out. I'm a firm believer that the people that are in your life, are there for a reason. I have a wide range of friends in some pretty solid lines of professions. Whatever it is I end up doing, I just hope that I can make some sort of difference, somewhere. Somehow. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on the moon with these ideas I have. Maybe I'm just foreshadowing my future ...

Until next time ...

Street Heat

2010-01-10T14:13:00.000-08:00

The Outsiders

This looks like a picture of my bros. Weird.

<3 Pony Boy

We all know my sincere obsession with all things art.

This might be one of my first findings of art in the form of a video, that's actually legit art. I can't even begin to fathom how long this took to create, but the artist is absolutely a genius and needs some kind of noble award for this.

Click the link to view the most mind blowing thing your little eyes may ever watch.

CRAZY ART VIDEO!!! | Young & Reckless

Today is one of those days where you promise to yourself that you're going to sit around in your favorite pj's and watch movies until you unknowingly pass out, and wake up to the rolling credits of a movie that you're pretty sure you made it five minutes into. I'm completely incapable of riding out a full blown nap, but I made it a point to be lazy today. Spending the day looking up artsy things and drooling over pieces that I will never own/be able to duplicate because they are far too expensive/amazing, is my idea of a lazy day, anyways.

Today I experimented in the kitchen a little. I had this delicious looking fresh diced veggie salsa and guacamole - something I like to call Pico de Guaco, but no tortilla chips. I eyed up my extra large stack of authentic mexican white corn tortillas, and got a chef-worthy idea. Why don't I just make my own tortilla chips? I sliced them up, popped them in the oven, and my little creation was born. I feel so straight up mexican right now.

I don't know about you, but that movie sounded like a legit idea. I'm gonna pop The Outsiders into my dvd player and love every second of it.

Current Listen: Today - Smashing Pumpkins

Levels

2010-01-08T19:18:00.000-08:00

Basically ...

Today was ... well ... it was quite the day.

Every single day this week, I've had obnoxious amounts of energy, all day long. Even at five AM when I had to be up for work when the stars are still out and the moon hasn't even finished with REM mode yet. Feels good to be young. Today, on the other hand, was a rough one.

I had way too much energy all day. Dance parties at work, barely working, dancing on the ledges in the middle of the store while setting up Valentine's Day with Tom. My job rules. I needed to let loose after the week I had.

I had a mini anxiety attack in the morning, but let it ride out and didn't think much of it. This never happens to me. In fact, I didn't even know it was an anxiety attack. I never let things get to me, and I surely don't dwell on anything. Then ... I got a phone call from my sister with some terrible news - her father-in-law got into a bad car accident and was in trauma. I was a little on edge all day after that.

I went to the hospital as soon as I could jet out of work to see how the situation was. Poor thing was bang up pretty bad. Sitting at the hospital with my sister and brother in law, I knew that I felt completely off. I was quiet, couldn't hold my concentration for even a few seconds, and my mind kept trailing. So not me. About an hour later, my heart started pounding and racing, I got extremely lightheaded and dizzy, and I felt completely out of it. Major anxiety attack. I tried to keep myself somewhat collected to avoid a full on panic attack. Ugh.

For a solid chunk of the day, I felt meline, a canary yellow. But now I'm feeling more indigo, deep blue/purple. That being said, I've decided to stay in on this Friday night to recenter myself. At this point, I think I'm definitely in need of a bit of r & r.

Current Listen - Festival - Sigur Ros

UO Lo-Fi High Style

2010-01-07T20:46:00.000-08:00

Handmade Headboard

Having decided to "Go Green", but still wanting to make my bedroom reflect the style that I wanted, I decided to take it upon my own two hands and make my own headboard. I couldn't find any stores that sold headboards as cool as this one anyways.

Made from a piece of ply wood from Home Depot, I "padded" the plywood with canvas fabric form my local fabric warehouse. I found this awesome mirror with cut out mirrored pieces puzzled together and mounted it with a drill in one hand and a vision in the other. I get compliments every single time I have a visitor!

3-D Paper Art

Surrounding myself in charcoal and pure white walls was not an option for a creative art nerd like myself. Big, blocky art in frames was too consuming of my walls (I like clean walls with splashes of fun!), so I gravitated my creative energy to make something fun, different, and that would cost my pennies.

Having come across some metallic metal colored thick paper, I got the idea to make some 3-D art for my bare spaces. Intertwining the strips that I diligently cut myself was way too much fun. Secure it with a little super tacky glue, and your wall is bare no more. Just being in my room makes me want to open my own art gallery!

Heliotrope

2010-01-06T19:03:00.000-08:00

Completely, utterly, and simply my motto

for the last few weeks.

Literary tattoo potential, maybe?

The last five days have been nothing short of this very one word: hectic.

It all began on Saturday night, after an awesome night with my babes and bros (my friends bands Driver Side Impact and American Living - check them out, they both seriously rule - played a show together) Once we got back to my dudes' place, we found out that my best bro friend's Macbook Pro was stolen from his bedroom. Buzz kill. Sunday was not much fun either, as my Blackberry decided to fry itself, taking all of my contacts and my life that is in my phone along with it. Totally crushed, I sped away to the nearest Verizon, the cell phone ER, and begged for help. The bad news? My phone was definitely in a coma. The good news? I was soon to have peace and quiet for the next four days. Life's not all that bad without a cell phone, after all. Liberating? Definitely. Inconvenient? You have no idea.

Once I settled down from the fact that I completely lost contact with hundreds of people, most of which I will never be able to speak to again, my mother handed me my mail from the day before. Two notices from court. Now, we won't get into any specifics, but let's just say that I need to take some serious memory enhancer pills, because one minor slip up in my mental agenda, and my license was instantly ripped from my possession. Poof! Just like that. Not to mention I had a warrant out for my arrest because of my forgetfulness. You'd think I was selling straight Columbian cocaine on the streets of Harlem with what I got slammed with in a matter of twenty four hours.

I could easily blame my misfortunes on 2010, saying how much it "sucks already". I like to go on an alternate route. I like to think that I'm learning my lessons way early. Now that I've got myself back on track and only six days into the new year, I can now officially say that things can only look up from here, right?

I've been spending the last three hours trying to get my Blackberry back to "normal". Your Blackberry becomes your life. My calendar becomes my husband. My notepad becomes my permanent to-do list and idea pad. My alarm clock becomes my lifeline for work. OpenBeak (Twitter) becomes my boredom cure for any given moment. And my GPS becomes my life's direction when I'm anywhere outside of my realm at all. As sad as it is, my phone has become my eleventh finger, my second hand, my other half, if you will. Four days without it was definitely an inconvenience, but the peace factor was overwhelmingly ... well ... peaceful.

Today I feel heliotrope, which is a deep purplish hue; still kind of mellow and somber, and just soaking it all in. Letting it kind of fade away.

Current Listen: Keep It Simple - Anthony Hall (Look this dude up on YouTube. His style blows my mind. You can't not be in one of those tap-your-foot, happy moods when you listen to one of his songs.)

99 Cent Dreams

2009-12-29T17:02:00.000-08:00

See it for what it's worth. There's beauty in everything...

Wata jerk.

It's been ten days since my last post. Of course, I'm sorry, as always. Busy is the word, definitely. Here's what I've been up to:

I've been doing lots of research on things that totally make me nerdy. We all know about my obsession with Mole People, which has grown to an all around infatuation of homeless people of the streets/tunnels of New York. I find their lifestyles completely captivating. Some of them put themselves where they are, some of them hate where they are and have no other choice. But the thing I find most admirable about Mole People/the homeless, is that they treat each person in their "community" as their family, taking care of each other as they would their own loved one, parent or child, they risk their lives for each other, they have such high hopes and are so positive about their future, and most of all, they live in complete simplicity. If only the whole world lived their lives with those goals in mind.

I've been reading The Mole People by Jennifer Toth, a book written by a reporter who set out, risking her life, to get to the dirt of who the Mole People really are, putting all rumors and "stories" aside and finding out the cold, hard truth herself with her own two eyes. If you're a resident/frequent visitor of New York, I suggest picking up the book and taking it seriously. I can promise a complete mindset change of what you previously thought of the homeless, even growing a love and understanding for them.

As I've been reading this book, which is taking me forever, because I've begun to literally study it, rereading chapters over and over for the pure fact that it amazes me, I realized that it wouldn't kill us to take a hint from the Mole People and follow their lead. No, I'm not saying go live in a subway tunnel (vegan's can't eat rats, silly. I'd STARVE!). Their mindset is so incredible: You live by what you need, excess is what made this world what it is, and this world is full of nothing but greed. Consider what you have now, and learn to be happy with it. Your simple surroundings can teach you more than you think, and it can open your mind to new things. There's a huge art community in the tunnels, and that just blows my mind. The pictures of the graffiti down there is incredible. We use the words "underground talent" way too loosely.

I've been researching art a lot. I've also been painting a lot more. In fact, I handmade all of my christmas gifts this year! It was so much fun, and I felt like the biggest kid. I created things like a cabinet knob jewelry wall hanging frame for my sister Nicole, fabric and fancy trim covered kitchen containers for my sister Stacey, a beautiful flower wreath for my mother, a self painted/distressed shadowbox filled with pictures of "daddy's girls" (my sisters and I) for my dad, a set of three flower vases, all hand painted for my bosses assistant, and a very modern wine serving vase with four glasses that matched which were also all hand painted. I'm thinking I should take some time and make more things to sell. I have way too much create energy inside of my little five foot two inch frame to let go to waste!

I've also been writing a short story, two in fact. One I'm much more focused on that the other. It's an incredible true story about a friend of mine. His unfortunate circumstances, down and out ways of thinking, and constant downward spirals of life are what inspired me to write this book. It sounds terribly unfortunate and sad, but it's all very interesting. Something a lot of people can relate to. Even he was in shock when he read it. (I wasn't going to tell him I was writing it until I had a few copies published for fear that I might totally freak him out, but I'm terrible at keeping things like that to myself. He was such a huge inspiration, and I was in a desperate situation to cheer him up one day. SUCCESS!) Here's a sneak peak of what the story entails:

In a community of dialog, he was the silence. It was like tilling an entire corn field with a fork, just to get enough out of him to make sense of what it was that was killing him inside. He would never say it out loud, but he needed someone to take care of him. In a world where you can make anything out of anything, create your being and identity, have free reign with your life, that very same world was too hard for him to survive on his own. A dirty look made him shutter inside. Rejection was like a knife stuck, twisting in his side. Conflict was World War II. Love was like trying to figure out the exact date, time and hour that the world was going to end, impossible. He was well aware that he had a heart, but he was never able to put it to use. He always said that if you could hold his heart in your hand, it would look like broken pavement, tattered and torn, broken and crumbled, a dark hue of grey. “There’s nothing in there I can give, because I don’t know how.”, he said, peering straight into my eyes. “I’m too scared to even try. All I know is how it ends.”

For Torey, every beginning was an end. If I could only make him face all his fears. To enable him to reign free and find the secret of a beautiful life. If I could only make him see the punches he’s thrown, not the towels he’s thrown in. He told me, “I want to be something that’s different.” I said that he can be anything that he wants to be, he just had to start letting things in. That’s the moment when he first believed. I quickly realized that I was the only one breaking it down like this for him. I was the only one that could figure him out, like a mad scientist who suddenly found the missing link between monkeys and mankind. Suddenly I felt as if he was mine. As if I had to take care of him. I was the only one who had solutions for his series of unfortunate events.

I love, LOVE writing. (I don't keep up with two blogs for nothin'!) I don't do enough of it, until recently. Actually, I owe a big thanks to my Hipster Sister and Tough Luxe readers who have pushed me and given me the praise that I've never heard about this new found skill of mine. It's nice to know that something you've always loved doing, is enjoyed by others. That is what keeps dreams alive.

Even with my recently busy schedule, I'll do my best to occupy your eyes on a more timely basis. I appreciate you reading my blogs, even though I get a little side tracked with my creative ADD.

Until next time ...

Current Listen: 55th and Halsey - His Name Shall Breathe

Whoa, snow.

2009-12-19T16:59:00.000-08:00

Scooty is wearing an Elvis tee.

Latte is wearing an old dude-looking sweater.

Can we say irresistible?

So. Much. Snow.

I've got a Yorkie under my arm for the entire weekend. This thing can make satan himself smile and purr the word, "Awwww" in a loving manner. I was dreading this moment, the "time for a walk" moment. This little nugget, named Scooty, was doing the pee pee dance. "Have you seen it outside, Scooty? It's snowing poodles out there!" He did not find it funny. He had to pee.

Twenty five minutes later (I had to put all of my winter gear on), I took Scooty out. His hesitation grew more and more as he stepped down each porch step. "There's no turnin' back now, buddy. Peters and pooters. Let's go." (I call pee and poo peters and pooters. It's much more socially acceptable, I think.) I look up to see if the sideways were shoveled. Negative. Great. I look back down at Scooty. Scooty? Where's the dog??? The leash led to a little hole in the snow. Scooty down under. Poor thing. He just ... sunk. That dog was an eskimo for a hot second.

For the first time in the last ten years or so (literal), I am actually enjoying the snow. It's prettier than I remember it. (It's hard to remember, we haven't had a real winter in like two years.) I don't mind being snowed in, either. I wish I had gone food shopping yesterday, but it's cool. I can totally live off the two frozen edemame bags in my freezer.

Does snow make you drowsy? Because it's not even 8:00 and I'm ready for bed!

Current Listen: Stadium Love - Metric

Tough Luxe

2009-12-15T16:47:00.000-08:00

Tough Luxe

Duh!

I totally forgot to update you all on my new endeavor!

I've been super busy, but with overwhelming requests from many of my Hipster Sister followers to create a fashion blog, I did just that. You can see it here: Tough Luxe. Tough Luxe is a fashion blog that has been created to fill the fashion side of Hipster Sister, passing along the inspiration and fashion sense that pours out of my ears and heart.

I hope you find it nothing less than what you expect. Also, there is an exciting new Look Book in the making, so be on the look out for that coming within the next few months!

Tough Luxe and Hipster Sister both have big plans, so keep reading and check back often. And if you're not already following both blogs, please do!

With Love To My Lovelies,
Ali

I Am A Whosoever

2009-12-06T19:08:00.001-08:00

The Whosoevers. Dig it.

WARNING: If you are a nonbeliever, then this particular post will be totally awkward for you.

But by all means, I totally encourage you to read on.

A rare opportunity showcased itself at my church this evening. There's a movement called "The Whosoevers", who does nothing more or less than change this generations lives by the masses. Thank God for them, because someone needs to do it. The Whosoevers are a movement that combines music with living for the Lord. They put on a concert, and have huge figures in the music industry tell their testimonies of how they were saved. The Chronicles, a hardcore christian band that played tonight, did their thing and gave us all the realization that we all worship differently. Some of us listen to straight up worship music, some of us bang our heads and listen to hardcore christian music. Hey, it all works, it's all worship. All the glory still goes to God.

After the head banging was over, we were graced by the presence of Ryan Ries of Circa, Head from Korn, Sonny from P.O.D., and Melanie from Flyleaf. Each one told their incredible testimonies, leaving us all thankful for the lives we had that we once thought were falling apart.

It's funny, when you hear someone's testimony like one of theirs. You think you have it so bad, that your life is falling apart, that it can never get any worse than this ... and then you hear their story. For example, Ryan was shooting heroin, coke, and popping ten or more pills of E a day. A DAY. On another occasion, one of his buddies found him in his room, passed out, with coke all over his face. He thought he was dead. He probably should have been dead. Head, on the other hand, was knocking out his wife on several occasions, in front of their baby girl, because he was a Meth head. Both testimonies were grounds for death. While everyone's life is different, you still have to be thankful for what you've got and what happens in your life, even on the bad days. Just because something's not going according to your plan, doesn't mean it's not going according to God's.

That was the message for me tonight. I complain on a daily basis for something, anything, that's happened to me throughout the day. I thought about it on the way home, and have come to the realization that I'm never happy. Nothing ever satisfies me. Maybe I'm so focused on what I can complain about, that I'm missing the important stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'm a very happy, laid back person, but what I have realized, is that there's always something that "doesn't go my way".

And that's my problem. Nothing should go "my way". It should go God's way. He's the one who knows me better than even I do. He's the one with my owners manual. I'm so busy making big plans for myself, and getting so upset when they don't pan out. Yet I never stopped to think that maybe it's not working out for good reason. Maybe it's not in my life's plans. Now I have comfort in knowing that in reality, I don't have to worry about a thing, as long as I'm following God's plan.

I'm going to step into the confessional for a second and air out my dirty laundry. I've been falling apart a little bit. I've been doing things that I know are wrong, but I got a rise out of doing them, so I did it anyways. No solid Christian is partying with her friends, drinking or not drinking. Nor should she continue to do the things that she feels convicted for. (God has this thing that he does to me, I like to think of it as the equivalent to a taser gun. I do something wrong, and he IMMEDIATELY convicts me for it. Like, light speed conviction. Sometimes He does it BEFORE I even do/say it, and I can stop myself. Man, He's good.) I've been slowly slipping away, back into the things I used to do, before I got saved. And I knew I should stop, but Satan got a hold on me. He makes things look good, look like fun, and like you're not doing a dang thing wrong. I needed tonight's swift kick in the butt to knock me down and make me realize that I can end up just like those guys. I'll treat this like a cold, and try and cure this while I have the first few symptoms, instead of catching the disease and letting it go full blown .... only to blow up in my face.

I've got a purpose, I know I do. Ask me what it is, and I'll stare straight at you like you just grew a foot for a nose. But one day, it'll all fall into place. I just have to follow "The Plan". And that plan is definitely not mine. My plans always turn out terrible, anyways.

Current Listen: Street Choirs Singing - His Name Shall Breathe (Srsly - check this guy out ... youtube him or something. Incredible.)

Jalouse

2009-12-01T16:18:00.000-08:00

Young, Wild & Free

I've been bombarded with, "Please post more on Hipster Sister!!!", and "Where have you been?" comments.

So ... here I am, kidz. Life's been a bit on the hectic side. Which, I know is no excuse. (Hectic lives are what makes blogs so interesting, no?) But I'm back, with too much to blog about. As always. I will not apologize for it.

A common pattern that I can't help but notice lately, is that I've been people's third arm. Lot's of people's. Let me explain.

My heart's big for this little body. If someone mentions, even briefly, and not in the manner of asking for help, that they need help with something, or something is bothering them, whatever the reason may be, I always feel inclined to help them. Could be the feeling of accomplishment for someone other than yourself is a good feeling, or that I'd love to change the world, but this is the only way to do it in my five foot two frame, or maybe I know what it feels like to need help, but it's not available. Whatever the case, I enjoy being an extra limb for someone who needs it. Centipede's must feel AWESOME.

Yes, the Brooklyn move is still in the works. It's slowly but surely being accomplished. I'm happy that I'm being super careful about it (regarding working and making sure I have health insurance), and taking extra time to work out the small details. I could move to Brooklyn this weekend if I really wanted to, really. And knowing myself and how spontaneity gets me in trouble (sometimes), I've gone on the grown-up route for this one. I'm learning to, for once, map it all out, put my foot down and make sure I get what I want/need out of all of these changes, instead of taking what's there and learning to get along with it. Sounds like I'm shopping for a boyfriend or something.

I've really been enjoying having gone vegan. I feel awesome, creating new things to make is so much fun, (I am NOT a cook my ANY means, so this was a huge challenge for me), I feel better about what I eat now, and I feel all around healthier. While some people frown upon vegans, I say do what you feel good about. I went vegan because I adore life, human and animal alike, and would never want a living, breathing soul killed for my benefit. It's come to my attention that I upset some Hipster Sister readers by calling meat eaters "murderers". I truly am sorry, and never meant any harm by any means. I had written that particular post while heated after having watched multiple animal cruelty for food videos, and after reading up on researched material. My apologies. For those of you who expect some sort of explanation/need to demean my decision, I will not explain/think you're silly. I do, however, stand by my choice/belief. After all, we are all entitled to one, no?

Off that serious note. I'm excited to finally get back to Brooklyn this weekend (last weekend was super low key), and see my Brooklyn Brat Pack. I've missed my little alt kidz. They're always a good time. We put on a good show for the neighborhood. Oh, and I've decided on tattoo number two. Already. I'm debating whether to wait until after the holidays to get it, or just do it. Debating.

Take care and be safe, kidz!

Current Listen: Waking Up - Amsterdam

Soul Control

2009-11-26T14:33:00.000-08:00

Soul Control

That's what what I call being vegan. Especially on thanksgiving.

While the other eight seats at the table are content eating turkey with all the fixin's, AKA murder induced plates, I had the opportunity to enlighten all of my guests of what it means/what it's like to be vegan. While they understood why I chose and follow the decisions I did, they listened contently to the catastrophic events that took place to get the turkey on their plates, the gravy on their mashed potatoes, and the dairy in their desserts. All without the flinch of an eye. Some people see the foods we eat today as "the way it is these days: you have to eat, and this is how it's done." I see the choice of going vegan as finding alternatives to eating, rather that murdering living souls to consume food for our own benefit.

I ate my hummus and edamame more than contently, while they stuffed their faces with the traditional thanksgiving foods, all contributing to murdering a soul in some way shape or form, and told them true facts about how each main course and sides got onto their plate. "But not all farms work that way....", they insisted. But they do. Farms that mass produce meat, dairy and eggs function the same way: they use the most cost effective/cheapest ways to kill/sell/deliver their profits to your plates. Especially during thanksgiving. In fact, most farms won't even shoot their livestock with guns to kill them after they have been used for all they're good for, as guns and bullets are cost effective. Slitting a throat while alive, however, is not.

This means that they "starve" the animals by not feeding them, but injecting them with only the hormones or chemicals need to make that specific animal produce more of their specific need (aka: they give cows tons of hormones to produce milk, without feeding them, all while making sure they give birth to at least one calf per year. The calf will be used for veal, and the adult cow specifically as a dairy cow, not a beef-giving cow.) Once the cow has been exhausted of food and it's body has been tormented so horrifically that it can no longer hold or bear a baby, it is killed in the most catastrophic, disgusting way possible.

For example, a dairy cow (females only, males are usually used as beef-raised cattle, or killed) is fed nothing but milk-inducing hormones/chemicals into order to produce milk at an extreme rapid rate. It is also forced pregnancy so that it can give birth to calves that will be raised/sold for veal, a horrific upbringing in its self. Once the dairy cow has been starved to death, it's milk-producing organs have been exhausted, and it can no longer function as an animal (most go insane or their bodies shut down from being abused), they are hung by one back leg from a rope which dangles from the ceiling, while still alive and conscious, their throats are slit, and they are left hanging while their bodies drain of blood. More than one hundred thousand cows are unable to walk off of the transport trucks every year, but are slughtered for human food anyway. Some farms even go as far as skin the animals while they are sill conscious. The squirming and noises which come from their mouths are heart-wrenching. In one video I witnessed, which can be watched here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIjanhKqVC4 ,

two pigs were side by side, their throats being slit, one pig is squirming and screaming so badly, that it slips out of the rope, only to drop into the blood bath below him, sloshing around the blood of him and his hanging partner, left to die. This is all because the constant electric prodding and forced onto the killing floor, had not killed them first.

Please think about this when you sit down at your next meal. Do it for the animals, the environment, and for your health. Realize that what you're eating, is not just beef or chicken, but a true murdering and torturing of a living soul.

Bits Of Beauty

2009-11-14T14:29:00.000-08:00

Silly things inspire me.

The way a tarp was slung over a motorcycle in drizzling rain. It was sort of damp, but still hung just perfectly. The front tire was slightly visible, but the important parts were safe and dry. You can see the outline of the handle bars of the motorcycle, but that was the only thing that gave it shape. I envisioned a tee shirt in my head, one that hung loose, with not one part of it being form fitting. The hem was cut a little bit sloppy, but sewn together to look finished. The back was long, and the front was cropped just enough to show the slightest bit of skin, if you moved just the right way. It was loose and free. The neckline was stretched out, and if you wore it during a long day of keeping busy, the tip of one of your shoulders just might make an appearance.

Sitting on a bench at the park next to the lake on a perfectly crisp but warm first-week-of-November Sunday, the air seemed like it was standing still. Had I had a paintbrush, a set of paints, and a canvas, I could take six hours to paint any given object that I was looking at, and it would have stayed completely still the entire time. That's when I got an instant, huge rush to paint. I slowly walked to my car, enjoying the calm of nature which I knew I wouldn't see again for a long long time, and drove to the art store to get those exact things, a set of brushes, a fresh set of paints, and two canvas'. For the next four hours, I did nothing but mix colors, challenge my creative side. It might not mean as much for someone else looking at it, but I can't stop looking at what I've created. I think it's beautiful, even with all of the little imperfections.

Things are imperfect. And I've come to realize that it's the things that own permanent imperfections, are the things that inspire me most. My sister was telling me a story about how a mother gave birth at her hospital ten years ago. The baby was born with a disability that wouldn't allow her to communicate. In fact, the only way she could communicate, was my blinking her eyes. It took years of knowledge from the nurses and doctors taking care of her to figure out how many blinks meant what. This baby was also born looking somewhat "tangled". She was always curled up in a ball, with her fingers, hands, and arms having no real pattern. They were twisted, leaving her looking presumably uncomfortable. Because of the baby's condition, the mother was unable to take care of her. Instead of being wrapped up and taken home to her very own pink bedroom with night lights and mobiles that sang lullabies, she was transported to her new "bedroom", one with white walls and monitors that beeped. The very same mother gave birth to another baby a few years after. This one was born with a clean bill of health. Being able to take came of a functioning life, she eventually forgot about her firstborn. Visits to the hospital to see her little girl dwindled down to one day a week visits. Imagine having a child, and not caring that it knows nothing of you, while you dedicate your life to the second born. What do you say when someone asks you how many children you have? Two, kind of?

This story, after breaking my heart, reminded me of when I was in El Salvador. I went to a children's hospital, one of the only ones in El Salvador, because of the poverty, to visit the children and talk to them, play with them, paint their faces, bring them toys, make balloon animals, anything we could think of to bring a smile to their face. We were were asked to follow specific rules before we went, being told that we were not allowed to ask about brothers, sisters, or any family members. We couldn't tell them not to worry, that one day they will soon get better and go home to their family. Many of these children didn't have family, as far as they knew. Their families didn't come to visit, didn't call, didn't care. Heartbreaking.

This inspired me to do something for kids in hospitals. Something. I have been racking my brain, trying to think of the right idea that's simple enough to do on my own, but big enough to make a huge impact on lives. I'm confident that one day, I will succeed, hopefully soon enough so that I can understand what this side of life is like, before I have my own children.

If you're inspired, take it in, and run with it. Don't think. Don't negotiate. Just do.

Current Listen: Waking Up - Amsterdam

Attn Alts

2009-11-12T16:42:00.000-08:00

Hot Mess

My Alt Bros (minus a few)

In The Woods photo shoot

Oh haaaay.

If you have not given your little ears the pleasure, and your little eyes the immense excitement that is abound by Grizzly Bear's video for 'Ready, Able.', I suggest you do so immediately. WARNING: You'll probably only enjoy it if you're an alt bro or girl. AKA: This is not the mainstream Lady Gaga dancing around in a leather leotard six sizes too small, with a real live peacock sitting on her head, posing as a hat. Ready, Able is the future of music videos (I hope). Alt bros all over Williamsburg will be making music videos for non-mainstream bands (their friends' band) in their artist loft that their trust fund money bought them, ironically, for free. I can only hope.

I want to own a venue. Realizing that 95% of my friends are in bands (good ones), and are always looking for places to play on tour, I can put my friends to good use and please everyone, all in one shot. My friends would have a place to play, I would be providing good (not mainstream) music for kids near and far to chill out/rage out and listen to, and I'd be making bank/hanging out with my friends all the time. Dream job? Yes. Tangible? Yes. Now who wants to be my investor...

I've been having super crazy dreams lately. Like, so vivid and real, that I wake up and literally have to think super hard if I actually just lived it or not. Even weirder ... so many of these dreams have been coming true, to a certain degree. I've been sleeping like a champion lately. I never ever get more than five hours of sleep a night, and I definitely never fall into a deep sleep during those five hours. But lately, I've been in REM mode hardcore, and I feel like a million bucks the next day. I love it. (Who wouldn't?) The one downfall? Last night, I woke up at 4am drenched in sweat (literally), and with my nose ring in my hand (I ripped it out in my sleep and was clutching it). Totally weird. I'm still bugging out from it seventeen hours later. Let's hope I don't sleep walk and try to scrub off my tattoo because I "thought it was a temporary one".

Tomorrow is bromance night with my fave dudes. My boys DSI are playing a show tomorrow night, and things tend to get radical come a good friday night. Love their bones.

Current Listen: Take Cover - Acceptance

Feathers!

2009-11-07T20:48:00.000-08:00

The much awaited,

much talked about,

feather tattoo!

Yyyyello, kidz!

Yup! Today was the day. Happy Tattoo Day!!! I was super excited all day, and surprisingly not the least bit nervous to get my tattoo today. Everyone I spoke about it to tried to psych me out, telling me that "the ribs are the worst place to get a tattoo. It hurts SO bad." Guuuurl, please. It hurt, yes, but it wasn't an unbearable, "OH EM GEE ... I can't breathe it hurts so bad. Wait one more second I seriously can't take it. It hurrrrts!!" No way. Anything poking at your little riblets at warped light speeds will make any living, breathing thing uncomfortable. However, it was definitely bearable. Maybe I just have a super high tolerance for pain, but I laid sideways though that forty five minutes of inking like a champ. GO TEAM!

I've been getting two of the same particular questions from a lot of people ...

1. Where did you get your ink done/who did it?

2. Does your tattoo mean anything?

Let me lay down the specifics, as I always do...

1. I got my tattoo done at Fun City in The Village in New York. Fun City and Daredevil Tattoo (located on the Lower East Side in New York, who I was originally going to work with, until I picked a different artist), are owned by the same owner. Both Fun City and Daredevil are famously well known for their incredible artists. I am not exaggerating by any means when I say that their artists are truly the best around. (Check out www.daredeviltattoo.com and click on "Artists" to view their work.) Claire was my artist. She's super super detailed, focused, and totally understood exactly what I wanted. And considering we were emailing each other pictures and ideas via our blackberries constantly (literally), she came up with the perfect tattoo. What's even cooler, is that she drew up the base of what my feather would be, and freehanded the rest. I love wingin' it.

2. I'm not the type of person to get something because I think it's "pretty". I always loved the whole idea of a feather tattoo - it's delicate, it's dainty, it's feminine without being annoyingly girly (aka Rose on ankle tattoo. BAH! Cliche!), and it's simple. Being a Christian, my nose is in my bible a lot. I kept coming across this one verse, and every time I read it, it struck a cord with me. Psalm 91:4 "He shall cover you with his feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge." I put two and two together, and voila, my tattoo was born. I love the simplicity of it, and I love that it has a statement to make. Everything about it wows me. As for the tattoo itself...

I could not be happier. For months, I had this vision of this feather on my ribs, picturing it in my head exactly what it was going to look like. But what I walked out with, was a tattoo that was a hundred times more beautiful that I ever could have dreamed up in my head. I love every last thing about it. She nailed it down to the littlest detail. Her shading is impeccable, the placement and size are perfect, and the outcome was beyond what I ever dreamed it could possibly look like. It's kind of hard to tell in the photo, but if you look at the middle right side of the feather, pieces of the feather are overlapping. It's not a perfectly smooth feather, it's pieced in some areas, and smooth in others. It was specially requested by me that she make the feather not a perfect feather, but one that looks like it's been through something. Those little imperfections are a reminder that even though we go through some points in our lives where its not all perfect and smooth, things get broke up and shaken up, but no matter what, it's still a beautiful outcome.

Today was a big day for me. I realized that if you set small goals along the way, and set big goals in between the small ones, it motivates you and builds you up to be a bigger, better, faster, stronger person. It might sound silly to say, but I feel like I just took a step up on my ladder of life. I accomplished a goal that people tried to pull me away from accomplishing, simply because they judged the fact that it was a tattoo, it meant nothing more to them. My heart and my faith are in this. It means the world to me. And now I can carry it with me everywhere I go, for the rest of my life.

Current Listen: Peacebone - Animal Collective

Get Nerdy On Set

2009-11-05T16:39:00.001-08:00

Scarf by: Nicole Pinho, yo.

Well kids, we're down to one official day before it's tattoo day! It's been a painful, wrenching, torturous wait, and I'm down to one more day. I can't wait. Every time I think about it, I don't know if I want to throw up, or scream in excitement. Let's hope I don't do either when I sit down in that chair.

The last two weeks have been a big sloshy mess. The day after my twenty fifth birthday, I hurt my back really badly at work, lifting a mannequin. I went back to work the next day (bad idea), and ended up being out for the rest of that week. Yep. It was that bad. In fact, it's been over a week now, and it's still pretty painful. I've been doing nothing more than resting up, laying in bed for hours upon hours, and renting almost a dozen movies off Cablevision, all of which I wasn't capable of completing. Yup, just me and my muscle relaxers. Their good for nothing other than keeping you from accomplishing what you've started. Literally. I woke up with half eaten things in my lap, half drunk glasses of juice, and half typed sentences on Twitter. Out cold. Just like that.

As if that wasn't unpleasant enough, I decide to go out saturday night for halloween, you know, to be somewhat civil, and to live up my newly twenty five year old status. (I had to test it out.) Fate would have it, that ninety percent of the people at this party were either full blown sick, getting sick, or were just germy. Within the next two days, almost every single person at this rager was sick with either the Swine Flu, the Flu, or just plain old sick. As luck would have it, I, of course, having the immune system of a poodle, got some weird viral infection. Which, of course, kept me out of work for another two days. So for the past two weeks, I've been in my bed, more than I've been at work. I can't even bear the thought of what these next two paychecks might look like.

Being that I finally, in fourteen days, felt better, decided to do something fun. My friend Nick and his friend Pat needed to do a photo shoot. So, I agreed. I had so much fun jumping off sand hills, playing with sticks in the sand, and staring down squirrels. I also felt super nerdy listening to them talk about "Canons", "Nikons" and "lenses", but in a cute nerdy kind of way. Photo shoots in parks/woods are my favorite. I'll share the awesome photos once I can get my little hands on them. Promise.

Oh! I have something fun to show you! My sister, who I'm so very proud of for learning how to knit, after I failed miserably at trying to relearn how, made me this awesome, super cozy and warm eternity scarf. It's a long tube when you lay it out, but you can wear it two different ways! Check out the photos at the top of this post to check out it's awesomeness!

Current Listen: I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You - Black Kids

Rabbit Or Habit

2009-10-30T17:56:00.001-07:00

My big hit of a halloween costume!

Shame on me. I've waited far too long to post a new blog.

It's been exactly eleven days since my last post, and boy have the events been flowing in.

Here's the run down:

- I've officially spoken to my district visual manager, the man who makes the ultimate decision of whether I move to Brooklyn with a job or not. Sure, I can leave for Brooklyn tomorrow and easily have a place to live, but that would mean that I have to job hunt pronto. And with the feedback I've gotten from those who are looking for a legit, scratch that, any paying job right now, it's not sounding very promising. The skinny? He's going to talk to the visual manager of both downtown Brooklyn, and Herald Square. I'm terrified and don't think that I'm the least bit qualified for a responsibility like Herald Square, but apparently, he does. I'll take that and run, thank you very much.

- My birthday (October 26th), was a blast. I had no high hopes for my birthday, being that it was a monday and all and I am unfortunately acquainted with people who work (kind of), but all of my friends/family pulled through amazingly. I really did have the best birthday. I'd also like to take a moment to all of my readers/followers who wished me happy birthday. A few of you even CALLED and got all personal about it. You're all amazing. Thanks for making my day!

- I went to a halloween party last weekend, and dressed up as a Dios De Los Muertes (day of the dead) skeleton. It was a huge hit/success. Some girl even showed me that she had a tattoo of "me". Impressive. Now I want one too. I'd like to dress up as my halloween costume on a daily basis, but I fear that I might ruin my vintage lace dress. Ok, that, and it's not socially acceptable .... yet.

- I hurt my back pretty badly at work this past tuesday. (Yes, the day after my birthday.) I was lifting a mannequin at work and whipped a couple of muscles and my rotator cuff out of place. I'm out of commission for now, and on some pretty gnarly meds to heal me up. Unfortunately, the meds aren't working so well ... the only thing they do is make me feel like I'm a little body of a girl made up of no bones at all, just mush, with a terrible sleeping habit. These things knock me out and keep me there. Hate it. I have too much that I want to do to sleep my days away. So, after too many xrays, tons of headaches because of workman's comp/insurance companies, phone calls from a lady named "Deery", and too many hardcore meds, I'm nothing but a bump on a log, aka a marshmallow on my couch.

All in all, things have been going pretty well. I have a few fresh ideas in my head of things that I'd like to get started doing, I just need to allocate the time needed to do these things. I hate starting up projects and failing to finish. Open ended things were never my deal. And that's how I feel like things have been left, open faced, like a hot turkey sandwich.

Also, the long awaited tattoo is nearing! I'll post pictures when it happens. I can't give too may details, I always jinx myself.

Hope you all have been having the time of your lives. Keep on kickin', kids!

Current Listen: Who Could Win A Rabbit - Animal Collective <-- Crazy, low budget video.

Vintage Dressed, Skeleton Faced, Flower-In-Her-Hair Wearing Dead Person

2009-10-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

Stuff's been going wrong, but I'm determined to make it right.

With a few minor issues, I'm surprisingly not freaking out, being that they are major issues and all. Ohhh, you know, my only form of transportation to my only source of income to support my life is failing me. In fact, my Jeep died for the entire weekend. Thanks to my rad friends, I was still able to have a life. And even more so thanks to my dad, who fixed it ... for the time being, at least. I have a bad feeling about this....

As for moving to Williamsburg: I thought the dying car was a major sign that I'd be moving there sooner than I thought ... then I got news at work that "transfers to other stores are not company policy", but, if I was given a "second assignment" in Herald Square or Brooklyn, aka, a "transfer", I could go. I'm sorry, but Eagle Beak (my Visual Regional Manager), will not determine my residing place, thank you very much. He's a baller driving a beamer with a beach house ... and I live with my mom. So....who knows how much Urban Outfitters pays an hour?...

On a brighter note, I went to Fun City to make my tattoo appointment on saturday. November 7th, boys and girls. I can not wait. Every time I think about it, I get way too exicited, and want to throw up a little bit. What makes me so happy, is that my artist, is creating a base of my tattoo, and free handing the rest. I just want to see the outcome already!!!

Also, I'm waaaaay excited for halloween. I'm going to dress up as they would for El Dia De Los Muertos ... which means "day of the dead", a mexican holiday to honor and celebrate the loved ones who have passed away. I have a huge appreciation for the art of el dia de los muertos, so I thought it would be totally fun to dress up as a vintage dressed, skeleton faced, flower-in-her-hair wearing dead person. I kind of love it.

Hope all you kids are stayin' radical.

Current Listen: Catch My Disease - Ben Lee

Notice The Resemblance

2009-10-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

True That.

Here's a few fun things that have sneakily become weird obsessions in my current lifestyle:

- Musical Theories: Although not exactly a "weird obsession", the bands I have been finding

have been more on the interesting level than anything else. Anything other than mainstream

is more my speed, and bands that you've never heard of are my secret little treasures. (Not

counting my secret vintage stores. I'll never tell you those.) I'll enlighten you/let you in a

few:

- BC Camplight - Recommended song: Couldn't You Tell

- The Appleseed Cast - Recommended song: Fishing The Sky

- Paulo Natini - Recommended Song: Last Request/Jenny Don't Be Hasty

- Ben Lee - Recommended Song: Cigarettes Will Kill You/Catch My Disease

- Athlete - Recommended Song: Half Light

- The Kills - Tape Song

- Bat For Lashes - Daniel

- Metric - Help I'm Alive/Gimme Sympathy/Stadium Love/Sick Muse

- Paint By Number: Yes, the little slice of cardboard you can still get from when you were

eleven.

There's something so exciting yet calming about a paint by number kit. The exciting part is

where you switch up the colors and get creative. Like when your typical brown horse turns

purple, because you said so. Freedom.

- Making Art: With paper strips that you diligently cut yourself at 11pm in your bedroom,

simply because you have nothing better to do/worry about. I'm actually thinking of selling

these in my Etsy shop, once I figure out the proper shipping way to do so.

- Lookig At Art: It's a pure, freeing feeling you get when you look at art. Art galleries are one

thing, but there are some secret art websites that just blow me away. I stare at them for

hours, literally. And I am perfectly content with my time wasted. I like to think of it as time

inspired, actually.

- Reinventing My Clothing: I recently fixed up one of my closets (just one of them, so far), and

found lots of stuff that I looked at and instantly saw differently. I am currently in the

process of creating an oversized collar for the long vintage tweed coat I have, and cutting the

bottoms on jeans into geometrical shapes and lining them with zippers. I also have a few

slouchy knits that can use a nice draped back that can be worn forwards or backwards.

I've suddenly realized the shambles my life would be in if my sewing machine ever died on

me...

- Birds: I have this weird obsession with birds lately. And birds' feathers. These past few

months, I've had the coolest bird inspiration. Speaking of birds, I am especially excited for

my feather tattoo. Good timing on that.

- Brilliant Ideas: Once in a while, I'll have an epiphany (or something) of something to

create/do. Returning to work after a day off for "mental health" reasons, I came up with the

idea to collect all of the artists that Rob and I have collected from Prim Suspect, and open an

art gallery. Of course, this is all further down the line. But regardless, an idea that I'm really

passionate about. Call it an excuse I made to just not want to work a corporate nine to five

anymore, but hey, at least my brain is working in the right direction, right?

I'm sure I'm not the first one to notice the resemblance throughout this blog, but I'm convinced that finding new music, indie bands, and a little inspiration, leads to loads of art and brain function. Maybe that's what we all need?

Current Listen: Choose any band in "Musical Theories" weird obsession category.

The Hipster Lives The Good Life.

2009-10-12T17:13:00.000-07:00

I'm not abandoning you, I'm just never home. Ever. I swear.

The life of the Hipster Sister has been pleasantly hectic. As must as I'd like to complain about being so busy and next to never being able to sleep in my own giant marshmallow of a tempur-pedic bed, I simply refuse to complain. I've been having way too much fun. In fact, I've given up an entire month of REM mode sleep to keep up with my social schedule. I've lost almost ten pounds in the process. Due to lack of time/money to eat, and never being in a place long enough to sit down an actually eat a full meal. This is the time when you'd assume that "convenient, on the go" foods are most necessary. But I don't swing that way. I'm an all natural kind of girl. Processed foods make me cry. I'm on the "I'm too broke to eat" diet.

Typical of me, I've been spending way too much time in Williamsburg. Brooklyn officially owns my life, my sleeping and my eating schedule. And I'm ok with that. (In the two days that I've been there, I ate two small meals, that I was only able to eat multiple bites of.) Maybe it's all of the 'scary skinny' hipster girls that are sipping on their bloody's and mimosas at 1pm at Hare Field staring at you and your spring salad and side of potatoes waiting patiently in front of you to be heartily eaten that's the intimidator. I don't know what it is, but when in Williamsburg, I suddenly loose my appetite. Not in an "oh em gee, I'm so grossed out", kind of appetite loss. It's more of a, "I have more important things to focus on, other than food." That's the vibe, and it works. I guess that's why you either have a hipster beer gut, or you weigh ten and a half pounds. I'm convinced that some of these guys/girls weight hasn't gone up since birth. Jealous.

This weekend was nothing short of eventful. I hung out with hipster trust fund babies, who are the coolest kids I have ever met. It amazes me how diverse this world is. I've been to orphanages in third world countries, where kids are totally cool with living with twenty other kids who have it just as bad as them, have no family, and all they know is what they're taught. Then I know trust fund babies, who have never worked a day in their life and golf on Sundays because they "have to", but are totally humble about their upbringing and the millions of dollars they have tucked away. If only everyone was as humble as some of these kids are.

Think about it: There's those silly guidos that max out their credit cards and ruin their credit history, just to roll up to the "jersey shore" in their leased escalade for three out of twleve months, trying to look all cool with the money they don't have, trying to impress people that don't care. And then there's the hipsters who purposely dress in vintage, already worn out 60 years ago clothing, look like they are one of the Mole People when they leave their Williamsburg apartments, and don't think twice about the two hundred thou that they can drop on a Lambo any given Monday, because their fixed gear is their biggest love.

I have a huge appreciation for hipsters. We live the simple life. Shut up your drama and complaining and just live. Life isn't meant to overanalyzed. Life's about chilling out, hanging with the kids that make you happiest, laughing about pelicans that steal babies and sell them on the streets of Willyb. for money at two in the afternoon because you have nothing better to do. It's the simple life. You have what you need and you move on. You don't care about how cool your jacket is. You found one that fits and you're ok with it. You haven't showered in two days because you don't need to. You haven't gone grocery shopping in two weeks because you're not hungry, and a tall boy at mid afternoon is really all you need. The time on the clock just doesn't matter, and you have no real agenda. That's life, my friends. We get so caught up in our nine to fives, business meetings and lunches, taking the kids to daycare and getting home in time to make the hubby dinner. Fail. I like my life. I like my friends. And I especially like where I am right now. Life is epic, and I'm doing nothing but enjoying it.

Funny thing happened, my really good friend, who I stay with in Williamsburg, is roomies with the designer of Zoo York. Raddest dude ever. We had a nice like talk about everything important ... to us at least. Another fun fact? My buddy's bro is a huge PR name for every surf/snowboarding company you've ever heard of. You can imagine the shenanigans that I've witnessed. I get a headache just thinking about it.

Things are happening kids. I'm working out the finals of getting my hands on an apartment in Willyb. (I offically had the talk with my boss today. I have a meeting with my regional next week to offically confront him on the issue ... aka beg for a transfer to the Brooklyn Macy's.) The ball is rolling, and it's rolling at the perfect speed. I've never been happier in my life. I've never been more motivated and excited. Life's good, and I'm not letting go anytime soon.

Current Listen: Couldn't You Tell - BC Camplight

Paulo.

2009-10-05T16:19:00.000-07:00

Mother of pearl ...

Can we say ADORABLE?

Sometimes, I wish I were a record label owner.

I 100% completely come across the most amazing underground artists that the little vibrations that your ears call music have ever heard. And always on accident. One artist, in particular, that it was a complete accident that I even came across him in the first place, has blown my mind. Nineteen years old, sings like an entire choir of angels in one body, can't mess up a note if someone paid him to, and, not to mention, he's the absolute visual of my hubby-to-be.

His name? Paulo Nutini.

Watch this ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffJ8xcfqOX0

And this ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpfufL_G2zs

I'm going to continue to have my mind blown. Enjoy, kids. You already know my Current Listen.

Cigarettes Will Kill You

2009-10-04T16:03:00.000-07:00

Life has been oh-so wonderful/eventful.

Here. Let me ramble.

First things first, I have been conversing back and forth with Daredevil tattoo, who, by the way, is amazing, patient, super personal, and probably the coolest people ever. For as huge as they are (if you say Daredevil in a tattoo induced conversation, the other end of the conversation will without a doubt know who you're talking about - they're they Miami Ink of New York), the owner of the Lower East Side shop has been emailing me via his Blackberry on Saturday nights and off hours, just to set me up with the perfect artist for my piece. THAT, my friends, is unheard of customer service. I've finally settled on the perfect designer, Claire, who has done a what looks like a life sized piece of a peacock on a customers' entire right torso, including incredibly intricate detail and about a million feathers. She's perfect for the feather I'm getting on my rib cage. I'm so excited, I know it's going to be pure perfection.

I've even conjured up a second tattoo already. A tiny flock of birds' shadows on the inside of my forearm. You're probably thinking, "What's up with all the bird references?" The feather tattoo is a bible reference. Psalm 91:4 "He shall cover you with his feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge." Those who trust in the Lord, will experience His protection. Kind of like how a mother bird protects her little chicks under her wing. Being saved and loving and living for the Lord, He's been my protection, my reason, my life. I'm a better and different person because of that. The feather tattoo may be pretty, but it has tons of meaning to me. The flock of birds is on a more personal level. I plan to get one bird in the flock that's larger than the rest, symbolizing myself, and smaller birds around the larger bird, but flying in different directions, symbolizing the people I've met in my almost twenty five years of life. These birds symbolize the fact that people come and go in your life. And while everyone is going their own way, the few that I have in my life right now, are the people that I want there.

Have you ever been at a point in your life where you realize that where you are at that exact moment, is the place you've been striving for, the place where you're actually truly happy, where everything is going in the right direction? That's exactly where I'm at, and I've never, ever been happier. I've been spending lots of time with some really great people. And I'm having the time of my life. I've made new, incredible friends. I'm doing the things I've always wanted to do. And it's all formed me into the person that's taken me an entire twenty five years to form into. Some people may not agree with the person I am, some people may wonder where this person came from, but I've never been happier with where I'm at. I feel ... well ... real.

I've been having this feeling in my bones. It's on my mind twenty four seven, it's something I've always loved with my whole being, and will probably never happen. Regardless, I've been feeling extra inclined to take on an instrument or two. Guitar and piano are what I'm feeling the strongest. I've grown up with a piano in my house since I was born, but my oldest sister took it to her and her husband's house. I miss it. I can't read music to save my life, but I can hear a song, and then sit down and learn it by ear in less than an hour. Don't call me a musical prodigy. I'm far from it. But speaking of musical prodigies ...

I was at a shin dig this weekend and this kid Brett, who, I think it's safe to say, is a musical prodigy, went wild on the drums. Travis Barker is good and all, but this kid is straight up nasty. I felt like I shouldn't have been in the room listening because it was like listening to the equivalent of a leaked Beatles song when they were bigger than sliced bread. This kid makes his own beats, then drums out to it. He blew my mind. Blew my mind up and down. And the next thing you know, it's 3am. It happens.

Although I've been spending more time in subways than in my own car, more time at venues than I am in my own bed, I wouldn't trade it for a thing. I'm having the time of my life, and I have my father in heaven and some great company to thank for it.

Current Listen: Cigarettes Will Kill You - Ben Lee

Priorities Rising

2009-09-27T15:09:00.000-07:00

Pretty Wedding Things

My favorite picture from

my sister Stacey's Wedding

What an eventful weekend.

Yesterday, on September 26th, my sister Stacey got married to one incredible man. The wedding was to die for, mind blowing, and just breath-taking. I could go on for years telling you the details, but instead I'll just give you the link to my facebook album of the pictures I've gathered up thus far.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2052220&id=81402495&ref=mf

I wish I could say that things are finally going to settle down now that the wedding has passed, but in reality, things are just going to get a little bit crazier. I have big plans that I was saving until after the wedding. I'm going to continue the WillyB. apartment hunt. This is necessary and I can not wait to finally find a solid place with a solid hipster roomie. Prim Suspect needs lots of attention, I've been preoccupied a bit, but can now go 100% full force now that I can actually dedicate my free time to the line. I've also started an Etsy account, selling ring bearer pillows, due to the overwhelming positive comments made on the previous pillows I've made for weddings. You can check out my Etsy shop, which is conveniently named Hipster Sister, here:

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=8083938

Eventually, this line will expand to lots of "knit" things. But that's a little further down the road. Speaking of knit things ...

My sister Nicole and I have decided to take on knitting. I learned to knit in a fashion class I took, but never actually had the time to keep up with it. I'm going to change this and make time to keep up with it. Priorities are priorities, no?

I've also been engulfed in going to lots of shows. Recently I've gone to see The Rapture. Last Thursday I saw Muse and U2, and tomorrow night I'm seeing Phoenix. I could not be more excited for Phoenix. I just hope this show is going to be as amazing as I'm imagining it to be in my head, although I'm sure they never, ever disappoint.

Hope you all had the sweetest weekend! More updates coming soon...promise.

Current Listen: Little Secrets - Passion Pit

Against the walls, Against your rules, Against your skin.

2009-09-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

It's been settled.

October third, I am going to Daredevil to book my appointment for this tattoo ...

A feather on my rib cage. After I stop crying over the pain, I'm picking up my boot straps and going in for round two to get this, with a few minor tweaks ...

Placement of this one is still unknown. I'd like an arm tattoo, but I'd also like to still be a part of my family afterwards. In fact, I'd like an entire sleeve, but then I'd probably have to change my last name to Sanchez or something, as I'm sure I would be no longer welcome in the Pinho household. (My family thinks I'm some sort of rebel ever since the nose ring incident. Look, you're only young once. And I wan to remember some of my best years.)

Thank God there's a super long wait at Daredevil Tattoo, or I'd walk in with nothing but clothes on, and walk out tattooed from nose to toes. It could happen. But it probably shouldn't.

This week is going to be the best ever. Ready?

Wednesday night, Pastor Chuck Smith is speaking at my church. Google him, he's a big deal. I'm ready to be inspired and have my life changed a little bit. Who wouldn't be up for that? Thursday night I'm seeing Muse and U2. I know, I already died over it.

Saturday is my sister's wedding. Baller.

And then monday I'm seeing Phoenix at the Electric Factory in Philly. My party pants are in the wash as we speak.

THEN, on October 28th, I'll be in NY for a few days and seeing Lotus. This is way too much excitement for me to handle all at once. Every time I think about it, I want to throw up. I mean that, of course, in the most pleasant way possible.

There. Now you have my entire itinerary for the rest of the year. Events are subject to change. I'm sure there were be a bazillion new additions to that list.

Oh, and for those of you who haven't heard. I have a rapper name, which has been (semi)legally changed to Lil Dipper. AKA Lil Dippzzzzz. Add all the z's you want. Fair game.

If you haven't noticed, I've been living off of Venti quad vanilla soy toffee nut latte's from Starbucks, Five Hour Energy shots, and Red Bull shots. I think my body is just going to start producing caffeine instead of blood soon. I welcome that with open arms.

Current Listen: Little Secrets - Passion Pit

Everything Far And Few Between

2009-09-19T20:55:00.000-07:00

Over your head?

In preparation of reading quite possibly the most sporadic blog thus far, let me assist you in a little breathing excersise to help you collect yourself and focus. Ready?

Breathe in ... one ... two ... three ...

Breathe out ... one ... two ... three ...

Repeat 3x.

The amount of coffee and Five Hour Energy shots I have been ingesting is almost sickening to think about. I don't know how I don't gag when I pass a Starbucks, or when I see a coffee pot half empty. And those Five Hour Energy shots taste like something died in your mouth and wasn't in any rush to leave. Absolutely horrific tasting, but the after math of a Five Hour Energy shot is way too good to not endure the pain of it. One of my Twitter followers recommended the Red Bull Energy Shots. My skepticism is at it's peak. I lost all faith in Red Bull when I drank the medium sized can and fell asleep for the entire night afterwards. I want my $4 back.

This month has been stuffed like a chinese dumpling with ridiculous shows. #1. The Rapture. Which, obviously needs no explanation. #2. Muse/U2. I can't even talk about it ... I get so excited when I think about it, it makes me want to throw up a little bit. I've never seen Muse live. And I'm pretty sure I might experience an out of body experience during that set. #3. Phoenix. I have serious expectations for this show, expectations that I'm sure will be beyond exceeded. #4. Lotus. I can't even get into it. It's going to be great.

I've been submerged in really awesome friends, really good music, really good shows, really good bike rides, and honestly? I can't think of being in a better place than I am right now. It's weird to be in a place and realize, this is it ... this is as good as it can get. I'm not going to complain about a thing. I'm one happy hipster.

Speaking of happy hipster ...

I've decided that on October third, the weekend after my sisters wedding, I'm going to NY to make my tattoo appointment. Something tells me I will be moving to Brooklyn extremely shortly after (my mother said I'm out if I get a tattoo ... I'll do what I can to make it easier to get out, trust me.). I have two that I know I want. But my first one will be on my ribs, so I may never go back for my second. Because nobody likes to be stabbed in their ribcage continuously with a vibrating needle...

Here's a weird coincidence ... I've been listening to a bunch of albums in my car, specifically, Owl City, Young Love, Pete Yorn, Cold War Kids, and Muse, and on every single one of those albums, I love number three and number eleven. Totally unplanned. And totally weirder to me than it is to you ...

Clearly, I have way too much to blog about. So we're going to cut this and start fresh tomorrow. I was actually thinking of making a vlog (video blog for those of you who are out of the loop a bit), on whatever you, my faithful readers choose. I was thinking of starting off with maybe a video of what goes into a design for my clothing line, Prim Suspect, or a "Facts About Me" video. Ya'll can choose this vlog for me. I'm feeling extra generous.

Current Listen: We Used To Vacation - Cold War Kids (Musically it reminds me of Muse, no?)

Finding.

2009-09-14T16:59:00.000-07:00

Steampunk closet, anyone?

I feel like I've been "finding" a lot of really cool things lately. More so than usual.

I'm fully aware that I'm not so typical. I, in fact, pride myself in that. I dislike all things mainstream (with the exceptions of a few annoyingly catchy songs that I'll catch in someone's car on the radio). "Odd" things are my favorite, "it takes a certain person to pull that off" is my forte, "interesting" is what I'm most interested in, and "acceptable" is not so much what I live by. I'm definitely a free spirit; I'm interested in what I'm interested in, I wear what I want to wear, I listen to what I want to listen to, and I'm not ashamed or afraid of what "mainstream" people might think. It's just not my nature to be "like everyone else". I believe that God made us all individuals for a reason, so be that person that you are. Otherwise, we'd all be siamese twins. And I would not be ok with someone constantly looking over my shoulder.

Here's a few things, minor and major, that I've found lately. All are pretty big deals to me, which means that it may mean absolutely nothing to you.

- A freakishly similar version of the found hundred and something dollar ALexander Wang burn out sweater that I have been stalking since it hit the RTW runway.

- The perfect super low cut, semi sheer, gauze/cotton fabric, which I purchased in three different colors because I was way too excited to find it.

- New designer, Jason Wu, who's Spring Collection shown at fashion week was just breath taking. I envy every last yard of fabric this man has touched, creating this ...

Jason Wu Spring '09

- The best cover up/concealer I've ever put on my face. And believe me when I say, I'm no make-up connoisseur, but I'm pretty sure I found an underground too-good-to-be-true find. Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen have their own line of make-up (don't worry, it's news to me too), and their cover-up is beyond spectacular. Unfortunately, that's as far as I've gotten with their line, being that it's impossible to find.

- The best $200 I ever spent, was at the fabric store this past weekend. I found incredible, incredible fabrics that I could only dream to get my hands on. Not only fabric, but trims and buttons you'd swear were on some of of those, maybe-I-can-refinance-my-home-for-this-jacket finds in that vintage store in Nolita you swore you'd never step foot in again, for fear of being forced to file for bankruptcy after one hour in that store. Believe me when I say I'm designing some very special one-of-a-kinds for these special finds.

- A new band, called The Rapture. I recommend 'Whoo! Alright - Yeah ... Uh Huh' (Yes, that's really the name of the song.) and 'House Of Jealous Lovers". I saw them live this past saturday night after just hear about them about two weeks ago and was beyond shocked. Definitely one of the best live performances I've ever seen. We rocked out, danced hard, and left with smiles on our faces. Exactly the way a good night should go.

If there's one thing I can vouch for, it's that life has been severely pleasant lately. I've been surprisingly content with anything that comes my way. Everything that's good is happening, and everything that's bad is steering clear of my happy path.

Here's to things being the best they've ever been.

Current Listen: You guessed it ... Whoo! Alright - Yeah ... Uh Huh. I've been a serious repeat offender of this one lately.

Stand Still

2009-09-07T18:32:00.001-07:00

Park Day #2

It doesn't get any better than this. You're lookin' at it.

Please excuse my nonexistence.

I've been extremely preoccupied with a plethora of current events, as well as getting as much fresh air as humanly possible by spending every waking moment outdoors on my bike/in parks/in Brooklyn (usually a combination of the three).

This weather/past week has been nothing but purely amazing weather. Which, of course, is grounds for spending the least time possible indoors, leaving more than enough time for cruisin' on the beach cruiser at just about every park I know of, at the beach, and in Brooklyn. Speaking of Brooklyn...

The Willyb apartment hunt is on and has been going strong. This hunt is serious. (Think, 'Omg, I lost my wallet and HAVE to find it' serious.) Luckily, I have some Willyb residents helping me out, so I don't turn into a statistic on the "Hipster's That Have Been Beat Down In Brooklyn" list. Because I'm pretty sure that my entire five foot two inch frame and white-hipster-girl statue can not out run a black man with a machete. (Note: This is why I purchased a bike.)

Life's been really, incredibly peaceful, positive, exciting, relaxing, amazing, beautiful, eventful, fun, and just plain old good. I've been filtering out the bad, and holding the good close. That goes for things, places, and people alike. I've figured out what belongs and what doesn't fit, what's worth it and what's not, what I need and what I need to get rid of, who belongs and who gets counted out, where I'm at and where I belong, where I'm going, and how I'm going to get there. The best part? I haven't even been thinking about any of these things. It's amazing when you stop worrying, stop trying so hard, stop thinking a million miles a minute about what's next what's next what's next, everything just falls into place. And that is where you really, actually belong. I've never felt more like myself in my entire life. And I can honestly say that. Whoever I am right now, and this exact moment, is who really, truly am. I think that's why it's so easy to filter in and out the things that belong in my life and the things that don't. When you let God do the work, it's amazing how much gets done. We're not as efficient workers as we think we are.

I was reading my bible, the book of Job, and came across this verse that made me stop to reread it four or five times, and then stop and think about what it meant.

"Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God." - Job 37:14

As simple as it sounds, is as simple as it is. Chill out for a minute and let things go at their own pace. When you force things to happen, they will inevitably fall apart. It's a given. We're human. We want what we want, when we want it, how we want it. But truth me told, that's not what it's about. Things happen, good and bad, and they all have their place and time. As humans, we have no idea what we actually want and need. So sit back, have an open mind, and let the work be done for you. It's not being lazy, it's called trust.

Current Listen: Embers and Envelopes - Mae