I Can't Break Your Heart If You Don't HAVE One

Twenty Four.

It's this awkward age (quite possibly more awkward than the age of twelve, beating out puberty by a landslide) where if you're single, you just might be single forever, and if you're paired up, you're probably on the road to marriage. If there's nobody even in a bird's eye view worth dating, worth getting to know, worth mingling with, does that open the door to eternal relationship doom? Or does it mean that there's something totally perfect around the corner.

Look, cupid. I don't know how many more corners I have to turn, but sock him to me already! I'm twenty four, waiting (patiently) for love, and getting very bored. My luck, Mr. Right is probably offroading in Australia with his "mates" and never wants to get married or start a family. He just wants to drink Fosters and play in his band for the rest of his existence. Or, even more so my luck, he's already dead, passed away thanks to a bungee jumping adventure gone terribly wrong. (That's the kind of man I would date, just my luck.) Or maybe I was supposed to marry Jack Sparrow, and we just weren't fortunate enough to live in the same era. I am not complaining, I would make a terrible pirate.

Not that I'm worrying about it or anything (eh hem), I'm just wondering, how does this work, exactly? Am I doomed for eternity, or do I wait a little bit longer? Basically, do I throw my pity party now, or 5 years down the road. I have invitations to send out...

Why is it that all men that exist at this particular point in time (no offense, dudes), either, A. Have no interest in settling down, what-so-ever. B. Are total lame, tools who mimic Hugh Heffner's life. C. Are just ... well, losers. Ok, there's a d. D. Are perfect, but are just not interested. 

What is WRONG with you guys??? Ohh that's right, you have testosterone. Silly me.

For all of you single men out there, either move to Australia and go offroading and beer drinking with the man I'll never marry, or go bungee jumping (oh, Ali, that's just cruel). I need to sort out my options. You know, see what's left. I'm getting impatient. 

P.S. Please have good credit, a nice spacious apartment in brooklyn, wear your jeans tight, and be musically inclined. I will love you until the cows come home. 

Were Dinosaurs Denied Access, Or Just Nonexistant?

Exactly four months into 2009 and already so many lessons learned.

One in particular that sticks out in my mind? With the good, comes the bad. But sometimes the bad is good. Make sense?

How else would you learn lessons if you didn't have anything treacherous pop up along side you in life? If life was peachy all the time, we'd be really bored ... and really sick of peaces, I'd presume.

Totally off topic, but ...

Someone asked me a really random question that kind of caught me off guard. "Do Christian's believe in dinosaurs?" As much as I'd like to say yes, (I have an intense love for the Pterodactyl), I'm going to have to go with no. As I don't believe in science backed-up theories, (I believe in what the bible says, and that's it), there sure is evidence of T-Rex and all this friends. But when Noah built the ark before the flood, God told Noah to put two of every animal on the ark. I don't know about you, but in every story I've ever heard of the flood, and of every picture I've seen artistically drawing out the chronological events of the building of the ark, leading to the actual flood itself, I do not remember seeing T-Rex hanging out with the camels and the zebras. Did the dino's just not fit on the ark, or were there really no dinosaurs?

Not once in the bible is the word "dinosaur" mentioned. Unless Noah made a laundry list of all of the animals entering the ark, we really don't know who the lucky recipients of the tickets to the ride on the ark were given to. Think of it this way. "Dinosaurs existed millions of years ago." You hear it all the time in any dinosaur statistic that you come across. BUT, us Christians believe that the bible goes back a good 6,000 years. If you're up for the challenge, read the bible with a highlighter in hand, and highlight how many times you read the word dinosaur. I guarantee that your highlighter will have just as much ink inside when you finish, as when you started. And for those of you who are reading inbetween the lines, no, there were not baby dinosaurs on the ark. That's just nonsense.

Saying that there were dinosaurs on the ark, is like saying that there were unicorns there too. I'm pretty sure that a horse with a giant head tooth wasn't there, enjoying the ride. 

I'm kind of glad that this blog went completely off topic. I could have really put a dent in your night with the story I was actually saving for you guys. I'll spare you.