R.I.P. Moe Dog
The only boy I'll ever love. <3
Don't get excited. This post will be an equal mix of both good and bad, happy and sad news. Put your swimmies on. We're divin' in.
Friday was the most heart wrenching day of my life. Literally speaking. The love of my life, apple of my eye, peanut butter to my jelly, whole heart and soul, Moe Dog, was put to sleep on Friday. Though he lived an amazing, long life, (he was 15 1/2 when he died), he has been having trouble walking and had become completely incontinent. And by trouble walking, I mean he would literally tumble down the stairs. Lord only knows how he managed to dodge what should have been at least sixteen broken legs. It was heartbreaking to watch to say the least. It got to the point where he wouldn't even go down the stairs anymore to eat or drink, or even go to the bathroom. We took him to the vet on Friday to find out what it was exactly that was wrong with him. We were told that he has a neurological disorder that begins at the bottom of your spine, and travels upward. It already got a hold of his muscles and nerves in his back legs, as well as his ability to control going to the bathroom. It was pretty much a downward spiral from there with no way out. The vet then asked if we were ready to put him down. What?
Without even a bat of an eye, my mother says yes. I instantly freaked out, started yelling and crying, and basically thew a fit. The vet actually had to leave the room to let us "work it out". I was not happy. I was really mean to my mom, which I had to later apologize for, and completely lost my mind from there. After an hour of slowing entering what I fully believe was a mental breakdown, and after my sisters showed up, they decided to put him to sleep. I ended up on the floor, crying hysterically, and shaking. I'm pretty sure that if a padded room was available nearby, I would have been escorted to it.
It really is the hardest thing in the world to deal with, and to believe it has even happened. In fact, I still don't have a grasp on it. Lord help me.
In other news, I have been trying to keep myself busy as much as possible. I've been doing a lot more art projects and have been channeling my even more creative side, more than usual. Anything that can keep me busy as this point, is seriously needed. I'm trying to come up with a new art project, something totally different than what I've been doing. I just can't put my finger on what yet. I'm sure I'll find something random to play with and end up making something crazy that will turn into a ferocious frenzy of nonstop multiplying variations. When I get excited about something, I just can't help it. It's like I need a room full of whatever it was I just made or something. Not to be mistaken with a hoarder.
I'm sure you all remember the post of when I hurt myself at work; I hurt myself pretty badly at work thanks to lifting a plus size mannequin, the day after my 25th birthday (making a joke to myself that I'm getting old). After 3 months of weekly doctor appointments (which, by the way, are still going...weekly), intense physical therapy, and an MRI, I got the results that I have a slipped disc. Having a gut feeling that that wasn't exactly it, I had my sister, who is a radiologist, show my film to a doctor in the hospital she works at. They found that right net to my slipped disc, I also have a torn ligament. Needless to say, I'm still lifting mannequins, and you can find me on a ladder drilling things into walls on any given day. Nice to see Macy's has concern for my well being. Workman's comp may not be far from my future. Hellooo bed rest. :)
Today I feel glaucous, a sea-foamy green. Almost bright, but not quite there yet. Let's hope for something brighter tomorrow.
Current Listen: Iron & Steel - His Name Shall Breathe
