My toes and I under the pier.
So many random things just happened, I think I just loved 6 people's lives at the same time.
Have you ever experienced pretty much every emotion that the human body can experience ina time span of twenty four hours? I did. I was happy, mad, impatient, angry, thankful, hopeful, hopeless, excited, let down, hyper, tired, lonely, overwhelmed, sad, upset, pleased, disappointed and ecstatic, all in one day. Not that I'm bipolar or anything, I just have a lot going on. My brain is cluttered. I need the container store to come reorganize my thoughts - the conbrainer store.
It is currently May 17th (for about 12 more minutes), and I have to make a life changing decision in less than twenty four hours, so that if my decision is yes, I can scoot my little life over to Virginia Beach and start it all over again, alone, and on a beautiful beach....by June 1st. This is hard. This is reeeeally hard. Help?
Hmm what's next on my list. Oh, men hate me. That's pretty self explanatory, so we'll leave that one alone.
Oh! Today I went to the beach to sit under my favorite pier. The one in Belmar that's right next to the channel. That's my spot. I've been going to that spot for YEARS. It's the only place that I can actually let all of my thoughts out. It's the only place that can make me feel small. I used to surf between the jetty (next to the channel that runs between Belmar and Avon) and the pier. (SO super dangerous. Not recommended. You gotta think fast, or you'll lose your face on a jetty! I've seen some gnarly accidents there.) Anyways, I'd sit there with my buddies for HOURS, talking, then running back in when the waves got good again, then came back and talked. It was the best little spot in the world. I'd always stay real late at night after everyone left. After a while, whenever I had to think or just wanted to get away and disappear for a while, that where I'd go - that little spot under the pier.
Another random thought...So when I asked someone why men don't even seem to glance in my direction anymore, why they don't even smile back, why they just ignore me all together, or they disappear after 48 hours of knowing me, I got the strangest answer. "Your very intimidating. You're almost too good looking for guys. They automatically think they have no shot with you." EXCUSE me??? That can not be truth. At all. Is he like, kidding with me. Is that a nice way of telling someone that they need to wear a bag over their head before starting conversation with the male species. Is it opposite day, and you really just told me I was hideous? For the first time in my life, I wish I was an ugly chick!!! I mean, they are the ones with all the guys, no offense.
I give up! Bah humbug!
