Tonight ...

Tonight, someone is in love, curled up in bed with the one they love.

Tonight, someone is in distress, all alone and wondering when their prayer is going to be answered.

Tonight, someone is in complete fear, on the battlefield, defending our country while we are warm and in our homes enjoying our freedom.

Tonight someone is giving birth to someone who can be our next president of the United States in forty years.

Tonight, someone is on death row, staying up all night thinking about whatever is was that they did to deserve it, thinking about what it's like to spend their last night alive.

Tonight, someone is hopeful, wondering what next step they can make to make everything right again.

Tonight, someone is missing someone.

Tonight, someone is dreaming a dream that they wish was reality.

Tonight, someone is wondering what could have been. If only...

Tonight, someone is hoping that tomorrow will be a little bit brighter, a little bit easier.

Tonight, someone is wishing that others will see the good in them that they see in themselves.

It never ceases to blow my mind that no matter where you are, no matter who you are, you are going through something. Good or bad. Whether you're in a good situation, or a terrible one, and even if you don't believe, you still say, "I pray to God...", or, "I pray that...", or "God give me the strength to...". Whether you believe in Him or not, you turn to Him, whether you see it or not. No matter who or where you are, you are going though something, and that something makes the world go round. You may be going though the most amazing moment in your life, or you may be about to drown in fear or terror. But either way, you're hoping for something. 

Realize where you stand, what you're going though, and in the end, realize the lesson that you learn from it all. Because at the end of the road, there'd only one that can be trusted.

I'm Leaving The Country Next Week

Holy El Salvador.

I'm leaving in 7 days, and I just found out late last night that I am indefinitely going on this trip. SURPRISE!!! How did that happen?? I'm attempting to pack as much as possible, in as little time as possible. I am trying to think of clever ways to force myself to remember my passport, because I would be that girl. There are shorts and tank tops and flip flops spewed across my bedroom. It looks like there was an explosion at Bloomingdales in here. Lord help me.

I have to keep reminding myself that El Salvador is such an unfortunate country. It's so exciting to go to new places, but it's humbling to actually see these places. El Salvador doesn't have a lot. So this will surely be a humbling experience. I can't WAIT to see these little kiddies at the orphanage! They have to be the cutest little munchkins you'll ever see! I'll take a zillion pictures, I promise.

I'd love to tell you what I'll be doing there, but as with any missions trip, you can't plan ANYTHING. Everything always changes, no matter how good of a grip you have on your plans. But, the focus of the trip, is to work with and teach the orphans at Potters Field Ranch Orphanage. I'm actually a little bit nervous about it. Puerto Rico was so different, because the people there were bilingual, so communication was pretty easy. But in El Salvador, it's spanish all around. It's kind of intimidating to me, having to teach little kids about Jesus, and knowing only a handful of words! I'm banking on the Lord's help for this one! :)

I leave on Saturday, March 7th, and return March 14th. I will NOT have my laptop with me, and I will NOT have ANY telephone communication. Sorry guys! Trust me, my Blackberry will REALLY be missed. I totally need a week to focus on nothing but the Lord, and what I'm there to do, WITHOUT the distractions of my life. Because we all know how remarkably pleasant my life has been this past month. Hmm. Right.

Of course, I'll post a blog before I leave with my final farewell! Please say a few prayers for me ... I have 7 hours of flight ahead of me on Saturday and some really hot weather to look forward to!

Love Ya'll. 

BIG NEWS!!!!!!

Major Announcement!!!

On account of all the terrible mishaps that the month of february had bestowed upon me. Things just MAJORLY looked up. 

I just got news that I will be going to El Salvador in two weeks on a missions trip to Potters Field Orphanage! This is amazing, incredible and surprising news! God is SO good. This trip was nearly impossible for me but the Lord obviously has a divine appointment for me in El Salvador! I can not WAIT!!!!

Now I just have to remember to NOT drink the water....

Do's And Dudes

DO: Compliment a woman. Something I think men these days have forgotten how to do.

What's up with dudes these days, anyways? They only want, want, want, and it's all things for themselves. I swear, men are some of the most selfish, unemotional (towards women) people on earth. (And no, I did not have a bad experience with a guy, this is just something that has been slapping me in the face, over and over again. You can't escape the egotistical, selfish man.) 

Men are so dusfunct, it's actually discouraging to us ladies. Where are all of the legit dudes? I mean, really. Enough is enough. I want to find a man who's as confident and kind, and he is gorgeous. I want a man who loves Jesus just a little more than he loves his dogs. I want a man who's idea of spending time with me, is taking me to an art gallery, and then coming home to share a glass of wine and actually hold a conversation about good music and the latest fashion trends, as well as what's going on in the world. I want a man who's idea of spontaneity is taking me to brooklyn because he knows this place that has the best ice cream in NY. I want a man who knows how to hustle and has ambition not someone who spends their entire weekend indoors watching television and eating cold pizza, just because he's a dude and he can. I want a man who doesn't look at me as second best, no matter what, because he would never be second best in my book. I want a man who's idea of a good time isn't a night out at the bar, but a night together, whatever it may be that you're doing. 

A girl can dream.

If I've come to one conclusion in my dating life, it's that chivalry is definitely dead. I just want to be the best part of someone's day. Is that so much to ask? Apparently.

So, "men", put on a nice outfit (i.e.: skinny jeans, a vintage tee and a leather bomber jacket) and come whisk me away to an art gallery in brooklyn. I hear brooklyn's the new town for loooove. Wishful thinking.

Do You Feel Valued?

I'm in the mood for a little DBA (Double Blogging Action)

And no, I don't have a 12 year old sister ... I just wanted to be Pocahontas for a day!

I am in a surprisingly chipper mood, considering the circumstances which occurred previously today. That's what a wednesday night at bible study will do to me, though. I get to see all of the people who make me really happy, in a place where positivity is just buzzing like a zillion mosquitos on a sticky summer night. (Ok, bad analogy, but you get it.)

Today bible study was actually quite interesting. Zechariah 10-11. Pastor Lloyd asked the question, "Do you feel valued?" Way to stop me in my tracks, P. Lloyd. DO I?? Good question. Putting into consideration this past month? No. I feel like the entire state of New Jersey is on a terrorist-style attack on Ali Pinho. There are airline jets taking plunges into my side left and right. Stop it, NJ. That hurts.

Other than that, I DO feel valued. Only because I know that I'm valued in Jesus' heart, and really, that's all that matters. It doesn't matter what the guy in the silver Honda next to me at the red light thinks, even if I am singing (and dancing) to Sarah Bareilles' 'Love Song' full force, with a water bottle up to my mouth, pretending to be my microphone. And it definitely doesn't matter what a stupid ex boyfriend values me as, on good terms or not. And it surely doesn't matter what my boss or my co workers think of me. All that matters is that I'm down with the Lord. He loves me, and I love Him. What a concept.

Getting caught up in life and in "worldly things", it's way too easy to forget who you really are. You let the happenings of life get to you and get into your little mind, and you forget who you are. Yea, it's that easy. Scary, right? I think back to when I didn't know the Lord. Man, life reeeally got me good. I was one sad chickie. I let everything get to me. It just drilled me down until I was in this deep little muddy hole, all alone, yet still smiling and pretending everything was totally cool. I guess when you're in your darkest hour, somethin's gotta give. That was the man upstairs. He rules. ANd he sure gave me a LOT.

Another thing I realized today? (Listen up, this will benefit you) Life happens. Deal with it, and move on. Totally easier said than done, I know. But you know what? When it comes down to it, you just have to pick yourself up and move along. Like that American Rejects song ... "When all you gotta keep is strong, move along, move along, like I know you do. And even when you're hope is gone, move along, move along just to make it through." Who would have thought that you'd be taking life advice from All American Rejects? Gees. 

So, do YOU feel valued? If you do, give yourself a high five, because it takes a lot of going through life's muck to come out the other end saying, "Hey, life rules.". And if you don't feel valued, why not, and what changes can you make in your life so that you DO feel valued? 

That's your homework. Now go to your room.

Person Of Promise

I realized something huge today.

Now, I can bore you with barely fun facts about how court went today, but we're going to save all of that, because my epiphany is much, much bigger than silly laws and depressing news.

Without tooting my own horn, I have been told by many that I have a huge heart in wanting to help others. This is true, I do want to help others. I have big plans, not for myself, but to ... you guessed it ... help others. Not too long ago, I came up with a really great plan. Realizing that I am friends with way too many bands,  (I'd say about 90% of my friends are musicians) and trying to come up with a way that I can help people, I came up with what I think is a pretty neat idea.

Have concerts that will bring kids into a vicinity that will provide them with a positive, fun and hopeful environment. Music changes lives, as it has changed mine. I went to a concert that had a huge line up, and four of my friends' bands played. I noticed these kids having SO much fun. The only problem was that I felt like they were all being negatively influenced by the other kids. Imagine a room full of kids and no parents, giving them leeway to do practically whatever they wanted. Witnessing sixteen year olds smoking cigarettes and passing it off to their friends. Just overhearing what these kids talk about is beyond appalling. Not a good influence on this generation. What these kids need is a Person of Promise.

While I'm completely aware that one person can not change an entire generation, and generations to come, I am aware that one person can start change. Kids these days are so incredibly influenced by each other. If one kid does one thing that just so happens to be cool, exciting, new, and positive, the next kids will do it, and then the next. I want to be that Person of Promise, making changes that promise a better future for our little kiddies.

I think the problem today is that kids don't have anything positive to look up to. Half of the crap on MTV is exactly that, crap. It's about time someone stepped in and set an example. I know that when I was sixteen, and someone that was older and cooler than me was doing something, I would follow them. In fact I did just that, except the older, cooler kids were doing bad things.

So, the first line of order is figuring out WHERE to do this event. So if anyone has any suggestions, shout 'em out. I'm ready to get the ball rolling, and I have more then enough participants willing to get this thing started.

This can be a really exciting change, for ALL of us! Listen to some music, join an amazing cause, and save a generation.

Next I'm going to try and save the Polar Bears ... although I think I might have a bit more difficulty with that one...

Elevation

I was going to make a Happy 100th View post, but my views went from 94 to 110 in a matter of 10 minutes, so let's throw that idea out the window.

Let's aim for 200 views. 

Today was my first day back to the gym after a month not being able to work out, due to the sudden attacks of Walking Phenomena and my grams passing away. February has been quite possibly the most impossible month. But that's no reason to get all negative. Speaking of which ...

I have court tomorrow. You remember, for my driving "without insurance" and driving with a "suspended license", due to the driving without insurance tickets. Thanks Officer Mandala. (Isn't that the name of a Circa Survive song? And don't the lyrics not make any sense? Kind of like these tickets I got? Somehow, this does not seem ironic to me.) I will have the pleasure of seeing Mr. Jack Mandala in court tomorrow. Maybe I'll tell him my new penguin joke to cut me some slack ...

Let's just hope that the state of New Jersey wakes up on the right side of the bed tomorrow morning and let's me at least keep my license. Fat chance. 

On the flip side, I heard MGMT's "Kids" on the radio today. I'm not quite sure how to take it. Every single under the radar band that I get really into, ends up on the radio within weeks. Maybe I should be a music forecaster. And if that's not an occupation, I should create one for myself. I wonder if that grants me the authority to create my own salary as well ...

Aside from all of the chaos, things are starting to kind of quiet down in the Insane Asylum of Ali Pinho's Life. (Don't hold your breath.) There's nothing else I'm really worried about, aside from how court will go tomorrow. But I can't worry about things anymore. I don't have any control over them, God does. And if he wants me to get rides everywhere for a few months, then I guess I have to be happy with that. 

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, (only a dozen times ... I'm just making sure you're paying attention) but I've realized that God is taking LOTS of things away from me. Big things, little things, important things and things I never even needed in the first place that I thought I needed. All in all, it's forced me to seek pleasure in the small things. The very small things.

Since my grams has been in the hospital/passed away, I've started taking walks at night by myself. Out of desperation to get some fresh air and clear my mind, it's been the best thing that I've done for myself thus far. It enables me to get the soot out of my constant bogged down brain, and let me think normally. Normally, I would just go shopping to get my mind off of things. But the Lord said, really? You want to go and spend your money on yourself and buy materialistic, meaningless things? Well then I'll take away your car, and I'll take away your money too. Now I know why they call God our "father". 

I've also started writing some lyrics in hopes of collaborating with one of my friends to put some music to it. This simple little pleasure actually keeps me up at night. Not so pleasant when my alarm clock starts screaming it's "tropical sounding" ring tone at 6am. I'm beginning to really hate that sound ...

P.S. - On account of all of the dreary posts I've made this past month, I'm making it up to you with the image above, a dog with no patience, covered in spaghetti.

Smile! 

Help A Hipsta Sista Out!

I need your opinion. I need ALL of your opinions.

I have been dying to get a tattoo. For six years, I have been debating. For six years, I have gone from yes to no, back to yes, then back to no probably sixteen billion times.

I think I have finally decided on yes.

Although the question of "what" to get is still up in the air, I have narrowed it down to a few things.

- A flock of silhouettes of birds. (probably on the inside of my bicep, or on an angel wing)

- A peacock feather on the back of my neck. (see above picture)

- Anything my amazing and talented friend Chris Noonan can come up with.

The picture above is basically exactly what I would want, colors and all, (but I'd like mine smaller) IF I choose the peacock feather. Now ... here's where you guys come in.

I need you to finish reading this blog, and then comment saying whether you love it, or hate it. I am taking all of your opinions seriously, so I really need your honesty here. And if you guys just read this blog and DON'T comment ... well, I'll just know that you all hate me and want me to walk around with the wrong decision tattooed on myself.

Do NOT make me walk around with "bad decision" tattooed on my body. I'll punt you.

P.S. - I just realized that both of my final tattoo decisions have to do with birds. I'm totally not a bird watcher or a bird lover or anything, I swear. Hmm...that's really weird now that I'm thinking about it. 

Just comment. Please. Thanks.

Now Show Me Something Pretty

Is it possible to be totally captivated and inspired by something, and to want to do it SO badly, but still be too lazy to actually do it?

Lately, I have been obsessed with photography. I am, however, very particular with my photographic genres, if you will. I like the kind of photographs that look really old, almost antique-ish. And then I like super over the top, obnoxiously colorful, totally avante-garde high fashion photography. Then there's an immense amount of interest of pictures with ... well ... people ... doing ... I dunno, stuff. 

There's something about the lighting, editing and setting of a photo that really gets me. It can be a picture of a deer wearing tube socks. If the lighting is right, I'll probably be into it. 

Because I don't own a fancy camera that can take uber spectacular pictures for me, I have to settle for my dinky little digital camera. I'm not knocking you, Olympus Digi Cam, I'm just sayin' .... you could be a little ... you know ... fancier. Take off your sneakers and put on some stilettos. Aside from that, I've been dipping way too much time into editing my pathetic little photos on my mac book. It's way too much fun, and I kind of like how I look really pale, in a really dark setting. There's something so, "porcelain doll" about it. Porcelain HIPSTER doll, to you. 

So I've decided to post a picture that was once slightly pathetic, but edited into a piece of art. Shut up, all you photography nerds. I'm tryin' here.

Because Blogspot is a hater and will not allow me to post multiple photos, you can dip into my appropriately titled, "Hipster Sister" album on my myspace (www.myspace.com/alipinho). I will have them posted on there for you to see. Take a peek, and let me know how much you love them ... or hate them ... but I know you won't do that.

So, folks. Unless someone would like to voluntarily bless me with the gift of a fancy camera, please enjoy these dinky little Olympus-made, mac book produced photos that I am proud to call my own. 

Hey, you gotta start somewhere, right?

Earth To Bella

Amidst all of the confusion of trying to figure out which man is most fitting for me. I'm happy to announce ... I've finally found him ... Though he is completely un-tangible.

Seth Ezekiel Cohen. (Adam Brody in real life) The comic book loving, Indie music blasting, constant joke cracking, curly haired, skinny jeans, cardigan, and vans wearing, adorable little chunk of man. And any dude with the middle name Ezekiel, is just hot. Rachel Bilson, I hate you. By the way, your wardrobe is super cute.

So, all you single guys. Take a tip from Seth Cohen. Go read a comic book, use your skateboard as your main source of transportation, listen to Death Cab, and tell a joke, for crying out loud.

The girls will f l o c k.

Wishful thining .... Just sayin'.

Hipsters: High Tops and Tattoos

My Hipsterism (I think I just made that up) has been gaining lots of attention lately. 

I'm not quiet sure why people are so interested. I like being unique and I like wearing things that you'd be scared to even hang next to each other in your closet. God has prepared me in a very particular way. I'm just happy to see that who I am is influencing people all over the place. 

Rock on, modern kids.

I found this little definition (it's more of an opinion if you ask me) online, so I thought I'd share it with you: 

"Hipsters listen to bands that you have never heard of. Has hairstyle that can only be described as "complicated". Probably tattooed. Definitely cooler than you. Drinks Pabst Blue RIbbon. Often. Complains. Probably living off parents money - and spend a great deal of it to look like they don't have any." - Urban Dictionary

Go ahead ... Act like ya hate it.

Us Hipsters rule, our high tops, leather jackets, tattoos and all. We're not the new trend, we're just derivatives of the grunge era ... just sweeter.

Hipstaaa Slang And MGMT

Tonight/This AM's happenings that you might not have been a part of/might have missed:

1. I was asked to send a "demo" of me singing to this band, yet I have no idea HOW on this macbook because it's way too genius for me. Looks like I can scratch "rockstar" off of my list of things to become when I grow up.

2. No, Ali, you can not just "throw your comforter into the wash". It's a $300 Calvin Klein down comforter and costs $60 to dry clean. Stop drinking red wine in bed.

3. MGMT is on drugs. And I can not stop watching interviews on them. Nor can I stop watching their video "The Youth" directed by Eric Wareheim. It gets weird. I love it. How do I get sequin leggings???

4. I asked God to take away everything in my life that I don't need, and to only give me what I need. Last time I asked Him to do that, he took EVERYTHING, including my driver's license and my grams. That should be a lesson learned in itself. Let's see what I wake up with tomorrow morning. (Please don't steal my CK comforter. Please.)

5. It's way too winter outside. I can kill that groundhog. Why is a rodent in charge of our weather patterns, anyways?

6. MGMT "Kids" plays on repeat where ever there is an iPod/iTunes available.

7. I've decided to keep in my life, and who to dispose of. If I don't pick up your phone calls, now you know why.

8. Did I mention MGMT yet?...

9. It's time to go Goldfish shopping and get Reef a new buddy. (RIP Francois. You and your mustache will be missed.)

10. I wish I had a dollar for every visit that my blog has had. Then I'd have $74.

11. I made up a new word ... relstard. Use it like you would use "awesome" or "cool" or "gnarly". Watch it catch on. It already has. See what you missed??

Let's get radical.

Young Love

I'm jealous of it.

Why can't I find a man who, when in public with him, makes people want to throw stuff at us and puke? Why can't I find someone who is equally crazy about me, as I am about them? Everyone wants to be kissed. Everyone wants to have their hand held. Everyone wants to be held really tight. Everyone wants to be told that their cared about, loved, and thought about.  I just want to be the best part of someone's day. 

Just when I thought that I'd get lucky, being that I'm single and all, I'm finding that there has been an abnormally large amount of couples out and about in public, being extra cute together. Vomit.

Ok, WHO is playing the meanest practical joke on me ....

My whole issue, really, is that I'm 24 ... and single. My plan was to be engaged by 26, married by 27, 28 the absolute latest. Apparently I should just stop making plans for my own personal life. If I haven't learned yet that NOTHING goes according to plan, then I really need to wake up and smell the coffee. The only coffee I smell is old, stale coffee. Of course. I know God's got my plan all set up for me ... I'm just impatient.

On the flip side ...

My iPod decided to resurrect today. (It was dead for about 2 weeks ... nothing I did would bring it back to life.) It's a miracle. Really, it is. I put that thing on shuffle so fast that it almost made MY head spin. Now normally, I HATE listening to my iPod's choice of shuffled songs. It has a terrible talent of shuffling. I can definitely tell you my iPod's favorite bands ... Red Hot Chili Peppers, Motion City Soundtrack, U2, Spearhead, Beulah, Dashboard Confessional, and John Mayer ... because those are the only bands that it will play on shuffle, give or take one or two. Don't get my wrong, those are all amazing artists, but come on, red iPod, you're killin' em. 

I can't fully complain, though. A song came on that I honestly had forgotten about. (I'm almost embarrassed to say that.) I intently listened to the lyrics and was mesmerized, all over again. Have you ever heard a song, and that that EXACT moment, every single lyric makes sense to you, or whatever situation you're going through? That's what happened. It was an epiphany. Bono, you're so genius.

The song was 'Walk On' by U2. Youtube it, and look up the lyrics if you can't sing along. This song fits me PERFECTLY right now. There are no better words to describe what I'm going though and how I'm trying to deal with it all. Thanks, Bono and friends.

The moral of the story? Fall in love with a significant other (good luck finding one first), and rekindle a flame with a long lost song. I encourage you to dig up your favorite song from a long, long time ago. Music has a funny way of fixing stuff that seems almost too broken to even put any effort into. Just you wait....

Oh, and I STILL can not stop listening to MGMT. If you have not listened to them yet, (I'm disappointed) you absolutely MUST. I recommend "Kids", "The Youth", "Time To Pretend" and "Electric Feel". 

What you've got, they can't deny it. Can't sell it or buy it. Walk on. Walk on. 

Stay safe tonight.

Revelry

Today was an eventful day. A very very long, eventful day.

Today was grams funeral. Up at 5am and crying until 1pm. It was definitely a hard day. But it's all over now. At the end of the day, these past three weeks have taught me a huge lesson. Lots of huge lessons, in fact. (See past posts to learn what they were.) Now all that's left is memories, lots and lots of them.

I'm completely drained. I have one more day of cleaning out grams apartment and then a day of complete relaxing. I'm taking full advantage of this lazy Sunday that I have coming up.

That reminds me ...

While cleaning out grams apartment, I inherited the coolest thing. Her Singer sewing machine from what has to be somewhere around the 1920's. I can't wait to set it up in my sewing room and have it forever. Seriously the coolest inheritance I've ever received. 

Not much after the funeral happened, just a nice lunch with family that I never see, a big margarita, and the biggest shot of Patron I've ever encountered, compliments of my bro in law. 

It's times like these that make me so incredibly grateful that I'm so family oriented. Not the shot of tequila ... the simple fact of being around family, and it's not weird or anything.

Thank you to everyone who attended my grandmother's wake. It was much appreciated by my family and myself.

Sorry for the not so funny blog. I'm a little tired!

Take care, brush your hair!

The Flamingos Are Always Pinker On The Other Side

I'm in the mood for a little double blogging action. I've had a long day.

Here's a play by play:

9am - 1pm: Cleaned out gram's apartment ... she has way too much stuff. However, I did manage to find $6 while cleaning out one of her kitchen cabinets, and $53 in Sacajawea coins under her bed. Which, by the way, is going towards the "Grams Beer and Polka Party" we've decided to throw after the party. I will, of course, let you know the full amount of money found in her apartment, loose change included, once I hit up TD Bank's (that was weird, I miss Commerce) change machine.

1:30pm - 3pm: Get ready for grams wake. Steam fabulous Calvin Klein LBD (Little Black Dress) and cake on waterproof mascara.

4pm - Leave for grams wake.

5pm-9pm: Grams wake.

Major traffic leading to ....

10pm - Arrive home, read my Old Testament reading for service over and over again, blog, and then attempt to go to sleep.

As you can imagine, it's been a looong day. But, like every single day, I've learned a lesson....Yes, another one. I can become a Harvard Professor with all of the lessons I've gathered.

Expect absolutely nothing. Whatever you expect to happen, will definitely NOT happen. Like, how I pictured my grandmother's death. If you told me that my grams was going to be dying in a hospital bed, followed by hospice for 3 weeks, I would have thought you were off your rocker. I expected it to go one way, and it went the complete opposite. If you told me that I would be pulled over by multiple police offers in every single town I travel through in less than one month's time, I wouldn't believe that either. But I can tell you that I've been pulled over a total of six times so far in the month of February alone. And I'm sure that count is not over yet. 

Can someone please take the invisible to civilians, but flashing bright lights to cops "PLEASE PULL ME OVER" sign off of the back of my car??

I'm going to get my license and registration tattooed on my arm if this keeps up....

And have you noticed, that when you absolutely HAVE to get somewhere, there's a major obstacle that slows you down? Oh ... that's just my life, huh.

I don't know what beef God has got with me ... but I'm starting to take it personally. I'm a VERY Christian girl. I love Jesus and I read my bible everyday. It's not like I'm performing human sacrifices and worshiping satan, for crying out loud. You'd think I was an axe murdering serial killer for the consequences I put up with day to day. I bet dudes in prison have it easier.

But you know what? I'm gonna be a heck of a lot stronger than the person who slides on through life, living in a land of butterflies and rainbows. Please. Give me disaster any day ... I've learned how to push through it and  make it fun. 

I'd rather live totally happy, and be a sheltered freak at the end of the day. I'd rather live rough, and learn my lessons the hard way. I'd rather get hit hard once, and have to learn how to deal with it and get through it, than to keep making the same mistakes twice. I'd rather live through life's dirty truth, than live in a lie. I'd rather be knocked around by life's boxing gloves, walking around humbly, than walking around with my chin so high up, that it's up my own butt, totally oblivious that there are other human beings on this planet.

So teach me a lesson. Let me live the hard way. In the end, I'll figure it all out.

I like to think that the grass is always greener on the other side. Except on my pleasant, grassy side, there's pink flamingos all over the lawn. So I guess that means .... the flamingos are always pinker on the other side....right?

To My Special Hipster Sister Reader

I'm here to announce someone who totally rules .....

While I know of the majority of the people who read my blog, I was pleased to learn today that I have a very special reader. Now, don't get me wrong, I love each and every one of you who have the patience to read about my intensely erratic life. Lord knows that if I were not me, I would NOT be able to put up with me. But today I learned that I have one reader in particular, who I was very pleased to learn was reading my blog. 

Yes, I'm going to announce who you are. And yes, I hope you are embarrassed.

Aunt Diane .... the crazy aunt who you just can't not love. She'll drink too many mojitos with you (she'll be the first in line to get one too ... knocking anyone over who is in line in front of her. Kidding ... kind of.), be the first to laugh at your jokes, she WILL go down the slip n slide fully dressed if you beg her to, she will always, always have a ridiculous, funny story to tell you, and she will without hesitation, tell your new boyfriend who you've invited to whatever event is it that you're all attending, the most embarrassing story about yourself .... and laugh at you about it. 

Case in point, she rules. The coolest aunt ever. And let me tell you .... she can make the MEANEST dessert ... Death By Chocolate. TOTALLY worth the extra three mile run at the gym. There's never NOT laughter when she's around. Your face will literally hurt after a conversation with her. 

Above is a photo of my Aunt, Uncles, and Cousins at my sister Stacey's Engagement Party. Aunt Diane is in the pink shirt ... no, not the 5 year old ... the one on the left.

I love you Aunt D!!!! Keep reading my blog .... and try to say it three times fast. And THEN try saying it three times fast after two or three mojitos. 

You Love Me. :)

P.S. - Welcome to the blog, U.D.!!!!! :)

Unexpected Sparks

Hipster Sister hit 50 views today. 

Today alone it had over 10 hits. Kind of awesome for an under the radar blog. I had no intention of influencing anyone, or starting a blogging phenomenon, but it seems as if I've done just that. People tell me personally that they enjoy reading about my ridiculous run ins with life ... I'm sure you're all just reading it for the pure entertainment of knowing that this is not your life, thank God. However, I must lay this on the table ... My blogs might come off as me complaining about my mishaps, or you might read about a lot of negative things. But really, that's my life. I'm as real as I can possibly be on my blog. In reality, isn't that what it's for?

I truly enjoy sharing my life on Hipster Sister. Good or bad, I deliver it, you guys read it. I am way too creative of a person to bottle this stuff up. Even if things aren't exactly creme de la creme, I've learned to laugh at it, make fun of it, and move on from it. It's life, it's never going to work out the way you want it to ... you'll either get stuck going in the other direction or you'll get a better deal. That's why life rules so much.

So, how about a little inspiration?

While cleaning out my grams apartment, we found 5 or 6 really old photo albums ... like, from the 1940's old. Now, I get major, serious inspiration from photos, modern or ancient. These photos were more inspiring than Zac Posen's Spring 2009 Runway Collection at Fashion Week. And that was pure inspiration. Photos of my grandfather while he was in service in the Army, in Austria and France, photos of my grandmother when she was in her 20's and 30's, how amazingly beautiful she was, how simple their life together was, how incredibly deep in love they were, even when he was in other countries, serving for months on end, photos of my grandfather and grandmother have SO much fun, I was almost jealous that I wasn't there. It was all so incredibly inspiring. It made me want to stop what I was doing and change direction. Do something....big. 

It reminded me to live my life to the absolute max. And just when I think I'm at my max, push harder, go further, dream bigger. Because I'm no where near reaching where I want to be. It reminded me to go and do things that I wouldn't normally do, and surprise myself in the meantime. Shock yourself, and others. Be the best person you can. Just be whoever it is that you are. Don't try to be anything, don't set yourself up for disappointment. Just simply live YOUR life. Why try to live someone else's? Why try to live in a realm that you don't belong in. Find your niche, and run with it. Be wild, be spontaneous. Love your life and live it proudly. Be happy with what you have, even if it's a bar of soap and a pair of ratty old pass me down shoes. Because there ARE people that are perfectly content with just that. Expect nothing and live as a minimalist. 

These past few weeks have given me the opportunity to live my life completely differently. So I'm going to take full advantage. As you've probably read in my past posts, there's been a million things slowing me down .... maybe this is why. Maybe a change of pace is just what I need.

Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.

Taking Up Chess ... For Speed.

A little realization just came to mind while taking a walk with my dog this morning. 

I never win anything. Actually, I've only ever won something twice in my twenty four years of existence, and they were both prizes that I had won over the radio. Whoop-de-doo.

My luck, or lack there of, is just that terrible. It's not just winning things that I suck at, it's everything else. Bad luck just hovers over my little head of pin straight hair. I'm learning to laugh at it. Life is like one big game of Monopoly and Operation, all rolled into one. And let me tell you, I must have seriously poor monopoly money management and realtor-ing skills, and one hell of a shaky hand. I'm fired.

Why can't life be more like Candy Land?

Watch out ... today might be a Double Blogging day! Oh, you're so spoiled.

Let Life Slow You Down

A lot has happened in the lat 24 hours. A LOT. Don't worry, I will spend the next 30 minutes of my life telling you all about it. Get ready for the emotional roller coaster, boys and girls.

Let's start out with the most important topic. My grams. (By the way, the photo above is her when she was younger. This is my favorite picture in the entire world. She's so beautiful and in her element here.) First off, she is the strongest willed, most beautiful incredible woman I have ever known in my life. I can only be so lucky to say that she is a part of me. It's funny how during these past two and a half weeks, I've noticed where I get all of my silly quirks from, where I get a LOT of things from. I find it pretty incredible that I found out all of these things while she was laying in a hospital bed for the last weeks of her life...

The way she makes a fist, just to be comfortable. She folds her thumb into the palm of her hands, and wraps her fingers around it, making a fist. I do that ALL the time. Especially when I'm driving. I think it's a nervous thing.

The way she makes fun of a bad or negative situation. Lying in her hospital bed, almost a week after her stroke, paralyzed and blind on her right side, practically incoherent, I managed to make her laugh. I would do the same exact thing, even on my death bed. Life's too short ... even when you can see the end. If you don't laugh it all off, you're going to drive yourself insane. Rule of thumb.

The way she packs everything into her drawers!!! Cleaning out her house today, I felt like I was cleaning my own room. I found make up, sewing thread, lottery tickets, vitamins, and jewelry all in the same drawer. I guess now I don't have to beat myself up over why my room is always so unorganized. I blame grams and passing down her terrible organizational skills!

I've realized SO much in the past 2 1/2 weeks, well, three weeks now, that it's almost overwhelming, but in the best way possible. My grams passed away on February 17th, tuesday morning, at 1:05 am. For as long as we saw it coming, it's so strange but it really hasn't actually hit me yet. I guess the next time I go to call her, or wonder if she needs to go food shopping, it will hit me. I am not looking forward to that moment. 

Grams has been through one hell of a struggle. I've never seen her fight so hard in my life. She definitely went when she was good and ready to go. You never could tell her what to do! Luckily, she died very peacefully in her sleep. We wouldn't have had it any other way. My grams absolutely LOVED her life. I heard story after story about how wonderful her life was. All she talked about was how great of a life she had. I can only be so lucky to be able to say that one day when I'm 86 years old.

I must say, seeing her after she passed, in her bed in hospice was the hardest thing I think I have ever went through in my life. Even harder because you have to be strong for all the other people in the room, but it just breaks you down. I'm human, sometimes I need to let the river flow.

Since I was a baby, until this day, for twenty four years of my life, grams has been there, I've depended on her, she's depended on me. She's not just "a grandma", we are SO incredibly close, it's unreal. I wouldn't have changed a single thing, not a single moment. So, in thanks to her, I've decided to do a reading at her funeral. Lord help me, I know I'm going to break down when the first two words come out of my mouth. So, in memorandum of grams and her amazing little self for the last 86 years of her life, my sisters and I have decided that on Friday, the night of the funeral, we are going to throw a "Beer and Polka Party". My grams is a serious Polish, and she sure loved her cheap beer (think Shafer and Milwaukee's Best). So we're going to throw a little mini party in her memory. And it will be WAY too much fun...

On a lighter note. I've realized a few things along the way....

1. I have a recent obsession, Twitter. Yea, I'm one of THOSE kids.... (Btw, if you have a Twitter account, my name is Hipsterrr on there....follow me!)

2. I've realized that in search of the perfect man for me I am incredibly attracted to two types of guys. Unfortunately for me, they are two complete OPPOSITE types of guy. I LOVE a guy in a band, or that is musically talented. I don't know why, but I've always been attracted to guys that play music. It's not even that I go out searching for guys that play music, it's just always happened that way. Then, on the other hand, there is nothing more attractive to me (other than the guy who's shredding his guitar) than a man who is an entrepreneur. Now, these are nowhere NEAR in comparison to each other, trust me, I am fully aware. But what I've also realized, is that when I have one, I want the other. Not that I'm hard to please. Maybe I'm the statistic to that saying..."you always want what you can't have." I'll find my peace, eventually.

3. I still love the MGMT song, Kids. I've done a little research on that band, as I do with every new band I encounter and end up loving, and they are some weird dudes. Let's face it, they are a weird duo. If you ever have the time, Youtube MGMT Interviews and take a look. They are ridiculous, in an extremely entertaining kind of way.

4. Everyday, I more and more want to move to Brooklyn, in spite of cars. I hate them. I hate owning them, paying bills that have to do with them, driving them. I hate cars. I want to live in brooklyn where all I need is a bike and a metro card. Please?

5. Family is the most important thing in the world. My mom, my sisters and I have become so much closer (and we were already really close) during this time. It's more fun than anything, really. I love them. Plain and simple.

Sorry for the longest blog ever. I had a lot to get off my mind. Don't act like your not entertained....

RIP Grams

RIP Francois

Oh ... by the way ... Grams' wake is this Thursday at Old Bridge Funeral Home from 6pm-9pm. The funeral is Friday at Holy Cross church in South River at 9am.  Come keep me company, and listen to me tell bible stories! :)

Take Care, Kids!

RIP Francois

I came home from a loooong day of work and seeing grams, and I terrible thing happened. 

I walked into my bedroom, and Francois (the bigger goldfish in the picture, on the right) was floating, belly up in his little habitat. Poor thing. I guess it's time to get Reef a new friend. Maybe a fish of color .... maybe those cool little neon ones? Ohh Francois, I'm not trying to replace you! It's just so sad to see little Reef all alone in such a big tank.

Francois funeral was in the bathroom at 8:00pm. My chubby little goldfish friend is in fishy heaven now.

I guess the French don't last very long .....

RIP Francois. Long live Reef!!!!!

Not Legit

I had an unexpected ingredient in my grilled chicken wrap at lunch today. Unexpected is an understatement.

Today was kind of hectic. I had to work in the morning for a few hours to take down an event, and then go see my grandmother right after. I knew I'd be at the nursing home with my grams for a LONG time (I've been on grandma watch averaging seven hours a day), so I figured I should stop and grab a bite to eat in between work and going there, even though I wasn't that hungry. There's this place by my house Dante's that has this really good chicken wrap, its the first thing that came to my mind, and it was convenient. I win.

Wrong. I lose. Looks like I got a little more protein than I bargained for. And I don't mean the chicken ...

Leaning in to take a bite ... a piece of lettuce looked like it had....legs. I stopped mid-bite and opened the four legged lettuce leaf. Say hello to my little friend. There was a freaking cockroach in my lunch. "Uhh, excuse me ... can I have the grilled chicken wrap on wheat without the cockroach next time? It gives me gas."

Gimme a break. How do you miss that in the preparation of a customer's lunch. What if I was REALLY hungry and was not paying attention. I would have pounded that insect without even knowing it. El grosso.

Also, just a little side note .... racing home from work to go see my grams today, you'll never guess what happened ......

I got pulled over. Oh, it's only the 40th time this month. I cried and told him that I was going to see my dying grandmother, an excuse he probably hears all too often, but this was no excuse, she is literally on her death bed. So he made me wait 20 minutes and wrote me a warning. (Looks like somebody needs to take a speed writing class. I could have written that warning in 30 seconds flat.)

I should branch out my blog and turn it into a book. My life is way too interesting to be kept hostage on the internet.

By the way ... when are all of these weird days and terrible things happening to me going to be over? It's been 3 weeks and I'm over it. Come on now.

About A Girl

Listen to this:

MGMT - "Kids" 

Kings of Leon - "Use Somebody"

The Ghost Frequency - "Nightmare"

Read This:

www.ctothejl.com

www.twloha.com

www.pitchfork.com

Create This:

www.puma.com/secure/mbbq/ (Click Create New Shoe)

Love This:

Ali Pinho 

www.thehipstersister.blogspot.com

www.myspace.com/alipinho

www.facebook.com (Search Ali Pinho)

Watch This:

www.web.com.com/nklemas/iweb/site/engagement_party.html

www.mac.com/nklemas/iweb/site/engagement_party_outtakes.html

Coffee Coma

This morning, I had 3 consecutive cups of coffee. Not on purpose, it just sort of ... happened that way.  I had the usual 'hard time' getting up this morning. (I could have SWORN it was Saturday, thank God my internal lightbulb was screwed in tightly and working properly, alerting me that, no, my alarm was NOT kidding.) So I was purposely late for work, going out of the way for a little cup of pep in my step. Then, I got to work, and had to go to a "support meeting", which, by the way, included the announcement of my promotion. WHAT UPPPPP SENIOR VISUAL!!!! This meeting, of course, included coffee. Three very full Box O' Joe awaited me. And boy did I hit that coffee hard. 

Continuing this quickly escalating journey to incredibly jittery hands, working 50,000 miles a minute, and talking so fast, even I didn't know what I was saying, I was fed one last cup of coffee. Now, I KNEW that I probably shouldn't drink it, but why not? It's like when you're at a party, or at the bar, and you KNOW you shouldn't be drinking the drink that's in your hand. You're always way too hammered. But you're in the zone, so you just do it because it's already happening anyways. This cup was based purely on the fact that I was nice enough to buy coffee for someone else the other day. Little did I know, that last cup was going to send me into coffee coma. I was losin' it. I was ready to hop a fence and start sprinting to Wyoming. 

I don't think it would be out of line to say that someone might have slipped a speedball into one of my cups of coffee, but I won't jump to any conclusions. All I know is that I gotta get my coffee maker back. I haven't felt this good in a looong time.....pre post-coffee crash. 

So ... congrats to me on being promoted to Senior Visual. 

Now who wants to buy me a cup of coffee? Or 12....

The Famous Question

It never fails. Whenever someone is made aware that I'm Christian, and am a hardcore believer in Jesus is our Lord and Savior, I get the same question every single time. 

"Well, if there's a God, and He is so perfect and good, then why would he allow (insert horrible, terrible tragedy here) to happen?"

Allow me to grant you a little extra sleep tonight. You don't have to lose sleep over this one, my little scientists. We are human beings. Right? Just like Jesus was. He was born without sin (Thanks, Virgin Mary!) and died for us so that we can be saved. If you can remember what the priest, pastor, etc. said in the Easter church service that mom and dad forced you to go to, Jesus suffered a brutal death. And he didn't even DO anything! (He was born without sin, remember?) That's how much he loves you guys. Now I know, you're thinking, "Pshh. You can't be serious. Someone did not lose their life for us, He didn't even know us." Oh He knows you. Now, because he died for OUR sins, that really means that He's giving us a million chances to mess up, screw up, and totally turn on Him. We kinda suck, don't we? 

That being said, God puts terrible, horrible things into our lives for a very valid reason. You've experienced death, sicknesses, you've been in the worst situations in your life. You've been through the worst of it all. To hell and back. You know why God put that in your life? #1. So that you turn to Him for his help. You know that if you turn to Him, He WILL help you, right? Sometimes you just have to pray a little bit harder than you'd like. But believe me, if anyone will tell you that He can change a life, it's me. Personal Experience. #2. He puts all of the garbage that you don't even want in your life, because He's preparing you to help someone else out. Let's say, God forbid, you've experienced the death of a loved one. Someone in your path will experience the same thing. And guess who's there to be there for them. YOU. God puts hurt in our lives to let us help others. I'm pretty sure He has a pretty good plan to the start world peace. Oh, if we'd only listen.

So remember, the next time you're dealing with crap. Deal with it like a man, for humanity's sake. 

MGMT and A Summer Surprise

Today was summer. I almost felt guilty driving any distance without putting my windows down. It was just one of those intensely beautiful days that you've needed for so long. After all, it's been a cold, blistery winter. Who am I kidding, it's not anywhere near over yet, I'm sure. I hope you took full advantage of this little blessing we received today.

Driving home from the hospital tonight, thoughts of what life has come to these past two weeks, a song comes on the radio (btw, I listen to Christian radio, Star 991. Listen to it if you ever need encouragement, seriously.) and it answered all of my questions. It gave me another straw of hope, just when I thought I was about to pull the last straw. The lyrics blew my mind. It was written for exactly my kind of situation. The lyrics are definitely blog-worthy, so take a minute and check it...

Praise You In This Storm - Casting Crowns

I was sure by now

That yo would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen" and it's still raining.

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise you through this storm

I remember when

I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry

You raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can't find you

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Speaking of music ... I've been turned on to a new song that I'm totally into. Thanks to Luke Reese, it will probably be on repeat wherever I am for the next five or six days. The song is "Kids" by MGMT. 

It's like those Jumbo Rice Krispies I newly discovered. Addicting.

Rock On, Modern Kids

Thanks to the mood I'm currently in, I have decided to make a "Random Facts About Me" blog. And yes, this is my second blog of the day. Don't judge me.

Fact number....

1. I really love cereal. Kashi, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Jumbo Rice Krispies, Cheerios, and Fruit Loops, just to name a few. (I'd almost rather have a date over a bowl of cereal with a boy, than over a big fancy dinner, any day.)

2. I'm convinced that the "Clean Linen" scent is what heaven will smell like.

3. All I want is for a boy to find me and we fall madly in love, get married, and live in a boat house .... yea... a boathouse. Ever google one of those things?? They are SWEET.

4. I have two fish that live in an old school fish bowl. One's name is Francios (he has a mustache, so he automatically earned a french name.) and the other is Reef. He's a drama queen and likes to freak me out and float to the top of the tank on his side and play dead. He only plays dead the same day I clean out the fish bowl. It's so weird.

5. I have an obsession with high fashion and couture art and photography. It's the most inspiring thing in the world.

6. I eat a lot of cottage cheese and salad. I'm a really healthy eater. Speaking of healthy....

7. I used to be a raw foodist (I only ate raw and organic foods). But as you would imagine, that got really expensive, and I had to go food shopping almost every single day. (Raw and organic food does NOT last long...it's mainly fruits and veggies.) Then I turned vegetarian for a long time. Now I just don't eat red meat and limit the chicken & turkey.

8. I can live off of mexican food for the rest of my life.

9. Irv's Deli in Neptune makes the absolute best turkey sandwiches your mouth will ever chew on.

10. I have a dalmatian names Moe Dog. He's 14 1/2 years old and rules.

11. I'm a hipster.

12. I really love ice cream with tons of sprinkles on it.

13. I'm lactose intolerant, but 90% of my diet is dairy.

14. I live in men's Hanes v neck tees when I'm at home.

15. I drink Lactaid milk and eat Lactaid cottage cheese. And I take Lactaid pills before I eat dairy all day long. Lactaid should sponsor me.

16. I go through phases with foods. I will become obsessed with something, live off of it for a month, and never eat it again.

17. I kind of have a staring problem.

18. I like to people watch, but feel totally guilty while doing it.

19. I do not like kraft cheese singles. Cheese wrapped in plastic is ubber gross.

20. But I do LOVE cheese, like real cheese. With wine.

21. Margaritas are my drink of choice. On the rocks with salt, please ... preferably with a veggie taco.

22. Every worker at all of the mexican restaurants near the beach, Fins, Surf Taco, 10th Ave Burrito, etc., know me. I wonder why.

23. I have always wanted my own company, and will own two one day.

24. I'm a missionary and travel to other countries to serve my God.

25. I like to go fishing. I can even bait my own hook.

26. I am deathly afraid of eels. I truly believe they will kill me if one touches me. Please do not attempt this on me. I will die.

27. I love Jesus.

28. I love reading my bible.

29. I love organic lemonade.

30. I love good, live music. Probably 90% of my friends are in bands. I'm jealous that I'm not in one myself.

31. I really like dogs.

32. I have a lot of health problems. I have permanent hearing loss in my left ear, thanks to a doctor who pulled out 75% of my ear drum. Nice. I also have a terrible esophagus diease - Motility disorder, muscle spasms, and severe acid reflux. My doctor actually told me that I have the esophagus of an elderly person. Sweet. I wonder what it's going to be like when I'm actually an elderly person....

33. I have what my family calls "Ali Moments". I forget very common sense things, or just straight out don't know them. Like when I asked what animal a baby back rib was from...

34. I have my own style and I love it.

35. Chocolate covered pretzels are my favorite food in the WORLD.

36. I am beyond obsessed with the hole-in-the-wall of a restaurant, Lovely Day in Soho, NY.

37. Equally, I love Sweet Tater, this little vintage shop in Soho that I would spend every birthday wish on it being my closet someday.

38. I have been surfing since I was 13. 

39. I have a really cool job - I'm a visual merchandiser. I spend my days doing really create stuff. Don't be fooled, not ALL of it is fun.

40. My family and I are really close, but not in the way that you're thinking. We hang out a lot, but we are not an emotionally open family. 

41. I have probably spent over a quarter of my life in and out of hospitals....for myself.

42. Both of my sisters are in the medical field.....of course, I'm the dud who ended up in fashion. Go figure. 

43. I wish I were smart enough to be a surgeon, because I would be one in a heart beat.

44. My favorite color is red.

45. I can not do math of any sort. I don't even know my times tables.

46. I think I black out the very moment when people introduce themselves and say their name. Not once have I ever remembered a person's name that I met.

47. I have a horrible memory. So bad, that it actually scares me.

48. I like shopping way too much. It's therapy to me.

49. I shop online constantly, but rarely buy anything.

50. I love twitter.

51. Facebook and Myspace are capable of ruining people's lives in this modern day. How sad.

52. My favorite name for a boy is Josiah, and for a girl, Riley.

53. I love to sing, but will never do it in front of you.

Created Languages and Edible Goods

That delicious bowl of goodness is my new favorite edible item. I strongly believe it deserves it's own food group. 

Jumbo Rice Krispies.

Restaurants need to start putting this on their menu, or I'm boycotting dining out.

If you're up to date with my posts, you'll know that I promote finding happiness in the little things. Whether it be a turtle, your favorite pen, or enormous Rice Krispies that little ones can no long enjoy because they are a choking hazard. Find something little that makes you happy, and dwell on it. Yup, dwell. 

I've realized today that my "language" catches on like wildfire. I have a habit of making up my own words and catch phrases. I use them frequently enough on a daily basis (out of habit), that they've literally caught on. They have become a part of the English language. You're welcome, humanity. I've caught my friends and co-workers using them in everyday sentences. Here's a sample dialog: 

*Bold works are my very own terms.

Me: "What's up dooood?"

Friend: "Nothing, what's going on?"

Me: "Not much, same old. Yo I'm so sick of going to work duders. I'm donezo. I'm so over it."

Friend: "Yea, I hear you. My boss is such a jerkasaurus. I want to punt her across the room."

Me: "Whatevs. Want to grab some tacos?"

Friend: "Sure. 10th Ave Burrito?"

Me: "Sweet."

While it's pretty understandable, it's amazing to hear my boss, a 36 year old woman, tell my co-worker that if she doesn't hurry up, she's donezo. I love it. 

I think I'm about ready for bowl #2 of Jumbo Rice Krispies. Dinner date, anyone....anyone?

A Piece Of Peace

Due to the recent tragic nature of my blogs, I've decided to break the mood and deliver you something a little more on the bright side. What could possibly do that better, than a giant cupcake?

Although I have no good news to report, I'm sure I can conjure up something a little more exciting than what's been going on. Like ... why nobody has ever made ME a giant cupcake. I don't ask for much. All I'd really ask for, is about a pound of sprinkles on top of it.

I've realized that you HAVE to find happiness in the little things. Like cupcakes, there are simple, tiny things that can make you smile, and alter your mood for the day. If you don't start finding happiness in the small things, your demands are just going to get bigger and bigger, and eventually nothing will make you happy. You'll be "that guy", always searching for something bigger and better, when that something isn't even there. It's a figment of your imagination that you'll never reach. 

I know you're asking, "hey ... what little tiny cupcake-sized things make you happy, Ali?" I'm glad you asked. Here's a little list of things that make me happy, without even trying:

- Life Savers Wint-O-Green mints. Aside from them being completely addicting, they never fail to pick up my mood.

- Seeing a dog/puppy. When you go to the doctor, you should just get a dog with every visit. I'd be cured, and probably a breeder somewhere down the line.

- Getting green lights. Although I think I'm immune to them, because I never seem to get them.

- Ice cream .... with way too many sprinkles. Instant problem solver. It's my Tylenol.

- Music. While bad music can piss me off, and literally make me leave a place, good music, or just a good song makes my day .... well, at least that couple of minutes

- Laughing. Sounds so cliche, bite me.

- Reading the bible. It's the past, present, AND the future in your hands. There is nothing cooler and more uplifting than that.

- Getting fresh air when you really need it. If you actually pay attention to the next time you're getting real, outside, fresh air, you'll be much more thankful. Try being cooped up in a hospital for a week, THEN you'll really be thankful.

- Sunny days. You're mood is just so much better when the sun's out.

- Sunday Funday, in the summer. This means church in the morning, followed by an entire lazy day spent in my bikini by the pool or at the beach. Life is perfect on Sunday Funday.

- Hanging out with family, and enjoying it. 

- Gummy Bears. Only because I like to bite their heads off painlessly.

See? A whole list. It's time you find you're pleasant little things in life too. Once you figure it out, they never get old. In reality, it really is the little things that count the most.

So ..... who's going to make me that giant cupcake I've been hinting about ....

I'm waitin' for it.

3, 2, 1 ... Branch Off!

Believe it or not, the picture above can not describe in a more perfect setting how I felt this entire week. (Don't be fooled, the feeling isn't over yet.)

It feels as if someone has plucked me swept me away (not in a good, romantic love kind of way) from what I'm familiar with, what I know, my habitation, and stuck me in this ... awkward position, this place I can't get out of, this terrifying height where I just want to run from and go back to where I came from, what I know. But I can't, because I'm stuck there, literally speaking. There's no way out. The wind has to blow and time has to pass before I get knocked off the wire that I'm walking.

The average human being probably digests in a lifetime, what I have digested this past week. The worst part is, it's not over yet. In fact, the worst is yet to come. This is simply the introduction page to an 80 chapter tragic novel. Now I'm not being negative about what's going on in this little novel of mine. Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic about life. Every single day is so exciting and new, sometimes mind-blowingly amazing, sometimes not. But the whole point is that life is new, fresh, exciting. It's a roller coaster that we don't necessarily understand, but then again ... I was never interested in "why" things happened. I just wanted to know what happens next. Life's a page turner. And if your life isn't then you're not doing something right. So things haven't exactly turned out to shine in the brightest light. In fact, it's been quite gloomy on this side of the street. BUT, here's what I've realized.

I've prayed my face off, day and night, I could be in the middle of eating my chicken soup, and I just start praying about things. SO many prayers have been answered, that it's almost unfair. I've been shown the light so many times, that I think it's safe to say that Jesus is an occupant of the spare room in my house. He's always been there, no matter what I'm praying about, no matter what's going on, there's always a weird glitch in the plans ... that's totally Him. And what did I do? I abused the privilege of answered prayers that I was receiving. Typical.

Things are VERY much on the fence right now ... on a very, well, broken fence. Everything is 100% unpredictable at this point, so there is no point in making plans, hurrying up, slowing down, doing this or that the right or wrong way, it's just ... live, exist, obey. That's it. For the past two months, a week before I got Walking Phenomena, I noticed things happening that we literally slowing my life down. Now, it's almost at a complete halt. (Almost is an understatement, by the way.) The Lord is REALLY trying to show me something. What it is, I'm not exactly sure. And maybe I won't know his true reason  until five years down the road. But I'm pretty sure I know what He's getting at: Stop taking everything for granted. Live the way I want you to live it, not the way you want to live it. Pay attention to the things that don't matter, because then you will realize how much they do. Pay attention to the people in your life, beacuse you will never get them back. Ever. (This,  I think, is one of the most important lessons for me.) We are so quick to dismiss everything that happens to us, everything that comes our way. Do we even enjoy things anymore?? It's scary to say it, but really ... think about that.

I'll leave you on that note. Don't be a stick in a wire. And if you are, at least be a branch that can "branch" off to creative, positive, hopeful places. Because nobody want's a friend with a stick up their butt ....

Stop And Smell The Flowers, Even The Ugly Ones

If I can pick on lesson that I learned from this past week to live by for the rest of my existence on planet earth it would be to stop and smell the flowers ... even the ugly ones, take nothing for granted, and cherish and love each and every living moment you have.

I will be the first to tell you that your share of bad days will creep up on you. They may even bombard you and tackle you like a quarterback that shows no mercy. But that's no reason to surrender. The grass is always greener....

Coming from the person who just had the worst week of her life I am actually totally at peace. Even so, knowing that the worst is yet to come, I'm still not giving myself the permission to hate on life and go out on a rampage of destruction. I'll admit, I had a bit of a freak out midweek, but there comes a time when you realize that hating on every single negative thing that finds it's way to you, only makes YOU more miserable, nobody else. My motto is, "Don't worry about it, pray about it." Worrying get you absolutely nowhere, believe me. And praying get your into heaven. What a bargain.

Today I finally got to see my grandmother in the hospital, FINALLY! It was SO good to see her, even under the circumstances. She was admitted to the hospital for a rather extremely rapid heartbeat. And at 86 years old, that's nothing to mess with. Now, she was amazingly healthy her whole life, she is a colon cancer survivor, and she is so super positive and energetic, you'd swear she was 60 years old. It never ceases to amaze me. Three days later, while in the hospital, she has a stroke, paralyzing the right side of her body, blinding her in her right eye, it took her ability to speak and swallow away from her. What else it took away from her, we have yet to find out. Knowing the woman she is and how incredibly strong willed she is, I know that she will pull through this, regardless what happens. She's not done yet. She has so much more world to conquer. I realized today how much I look up to her, how I can only hope to walk in her shoes one day. She's lived an amazing life, and will tell you twenty times if you ever get to meet her. Without a doubt, she is my super hero. I've never met someone quite like her in my existence, and that says a lot about her. She really is the strongest woman in the world.

So whatever it is that's on your mind, lay it to rest. Whatever is making you so incredibly P.O.ed that you want to bash someone's head into a brick wall, let it go. Whatever is holding you back or making you upset, think of the positive outcome and watch it happen. Life is way too short to have days that begin and end negatively. Life wasn't mean to be wasted on petty things that are just "of this world." There are SO many greater things that you will accomplish, that you will see, that you will experience.

DO us all a favor, love yourself, and love each and every day that God has given you. Because you only get one time around, you only get one shot at this life. Live it the way God meant you to live it.