Silly things inspire me.
The way a tarp was slung over a motorcycle in drizzling rain. It was sort of damp, but still hung just perfectly. The front tire was slightly visible, but the important parts were safe and dry. You can see the outline of the handle bars of the motorcycle, but that was the only thing that gave it shape. I envisioned a tee shirt in my head, one that hung loose, with not one part of it being form fitting. The hem was cut a little bit sloppy, but sewn together to look finished. The back was long, and the front was cropped just enough to show the slightest bit of skin, if you moved just the right way. It was loose and free. The neckline was stretched out, and if you wore it during a long day of keeping busy, the tip of one of your shoulders just might make an appearance.
Sitting on a bench at the park next to the lake on a perfectly crisp but warm first-week-of-November Sunday, the air seemed like it was standing still. Had I had a paintbrush, a set of paints, and a canvas, I could take six hours to paint any given object that I was looking at, and it would have stayed completely still the entire time. That's when I got an instant, huge rush to paint. I slowly walked to my car, enjoying the calm of nature which I knew I wouldn't see again for a long long time, and drove to the art store to get those exact things, a set of brushes, a fresh set of paints, and two canvas'. For the next four hours, I did nothing but mix colors, challenge my creative side. It might not mean as much for someone else looking at it, but I can't stop looking at what I've created. I think it's beautiful, even with all of the little imperfections.
Things are imperfect. And I've come to realize that it's the things that own permanent imperfections, are the things that inspire me most. My sister was telling me a story about how a mother gave birth at her hospital ten years ago. The baby was born with a disability that wouldn't allow her to communicate. In fact, the only way she could communicate, was my blinking her eyes. It took years of knowledge from the nurses and doctors taking care of her to figure out how many blinks meant what. This baby was also born looking somewhat "tangled". She was always curled up in a ball, with her fingers, hands, and arms having no real pattern. They were twisted, leaving her looking presumably uncomfortable. Because of the baby's condition, the mother was unable to take care of her. Instead of being wrapped up and taken home to her very own pink bedroom with night lights and mobiles that sang lullabies, she was transported to her new "bedroom", one with white walls and monitors that beeped. The very same mother gave birth to another baby a few years after. This one was born with a clean bill of health. Being able to take came of a functioning life, she eventually forgot about her firstborn. Visits to the hospital to see her little girl dwindled down to one day a week visits. Imagine having a child, and not caring that it knows nothing of you, while you dedicate your life to the second born. What do you say when someone asks you how many children you have? Two, kind of?
This story, after breaking my heart, reminded me of when I was in El Salvador. I went to a children's hospital, one of the only ones in El Salvador, because of the poverty, to visit the children and talk to them, play with them, paint their faces, bring them toys, make balloon animals, anything we could think of to bring a smile to their face. We were were asked to follow specific rules before we went, being told that we were not allowed to ask about brothers, sisters, or any family members. We couldn't tell them not to worry, that one day they will soon get better and go home to their family. Many of these children didn't have family, as far as they knew. Their families didn't come to visit, didn't call, didn't care. Heartbreaking.
This inspired me to do something for kids in hospitals. Something. I have been racking my brain, trying to think of the right idea that's simple enough to do on my own, but big enough to make a huge impact on lives. I'm confident that one day, I will succeed, hopefully soon enough so that I can understand what this side of life is like, before I have my own children.
If you're inspired, take it in, and run with it. Don't think. Don't negotiate. Just do.
Current Listen: Waking Up - Amsterdam
